Over the last few weeks, once again, there have been numerous articles posted on Facebook, in the press and the news about children and young adults taking their lives over bullying.

We have been in a World Recession since 2007,  although the economists refuse to publicly acknowledge it. Coupled with that, the Global economy has changed the way business is conducted. Companies are outsourcing low level jobs to third world countries, leaving many uneducated individuals and the youth unable to find either entry level or part-time employment. Granted, many of them arrive for an interview with such arrogance that no one wants to hire them. Furthermore, if they are hired, they are unwilling to work, and are constantly complaining about hours, and inconvenience.

Bullying starts in school, and becomes absolutely hideous by high school for those unable to cope with the constant unpleasantness. Most often it is triggered by the bully not being given something they wanted, and that anger is then transformed into rage, and taken out on some poor unsuspecting individual who has the misfortune to cross their path.

So, the shy child, unable to verbally defend themselves to the barrage of insults and teasing, simply withdraws further and further into themselves. The nerdy child, more interested in math or science is teased mercilessly as they don’t conform to the perceived mode of behaviour, but nonetheless gets straight A’s with little effort. The irony being that this same child may have an IQ at Genius level, and will become a world class researcher or inventor.

Then, of course, there is the one who dresses and acts differently, refusing to conform to the in-crowd’s way of dressing. In high school my best friend who was also British and I had incredibly long hair all the way down our backs, and dyed black, we wore black eyeliner, off white lipstick, black lace up Granny Boots, black turtle-necks, black jeans, black leather jackets….and yes, we were both artists. Both of us drew and we also wrote. By the age of 13 I was published, by 15 I had poetry published in Japan, then articles, and then, I met a 12 string guitar…and started composing music, never having had one guitar lesson in my life. Not long after, I found myself on a stage performing in front of hundreds of people.

My way of dealing with the constant unpleasantness of a few certain individuals in my school who considered themselves the most important people on the campus was simply to make an entire new circle of friends who were part of the French ‘IN” crowd, and wow!!  What a ride!!  I never looked back!! The added bonus was that I learned to speak French!!! I met a  young fellow  who was a musician with an incredible voice, and ended up singing with him!!

Around the same time I met a Chinese girl who also felt like an outsider, and we became friends. So I made a group of friends within the Asian community and my eyes were opened once again, new language, new customs, new food, and the refreshing part, was the community welcomed me with open arms.

Unfortunately, not everyone had the strength of character or imagination I did. One girl, adopted by a very wealthy family was both not attractive and different. We were too young then to understand she was a lesbian, we had no idea in those days of what that even was.

She was teased incessantly, in the most cruel ways possible, being told she was unwanted by her parents because she was ugly. Her solution was to start pulling out her eyelashes and her hair, and by age 15 she really had serious emotional problems. Unfortunately the more she pulled, the more cruel the perpetrators.

Then, of course, there is the child who comes to school dirty and in rags, and suffers no end at the hands of these arrogant self serving Princesses. Never a thought that perhaps this poor unfortunate child might also be coming to school starving.

Children and teens unfortunately, are not taught to stand back and consider what has triggered this cruel behaviour and how to protect themselves from it. It would never enter most parent’s minds that their child is either the bully or the subject of bullying.

The bullies, will never allow anyone but themselves to be center stage, the most popular, best dressed, with a constant entourage. Should someone turn up to threaten them, they will instantly concoct some lie to destroy the other individual.

We hear of young girls being teased incessantly, called whores and sluts, and often they are virgins. Ironically the ones doing the teasing are usually the promiscuous ones. Their guilt and unwillingness to acknowledge it, has them project on some poor unsuspecting individual….it is always easier to call someone names than acknowledge that you are not nice.

One incredibly cruel woman I know, now on her 5th husband, had an incredibly bad reputation in University for her promiscuity. Give her a few drinks and she would have sex with anyone. This same person, now in her 60’s refuses to acknowledge that she ever did anything wrong. It is always the fault of someone else. Whatever problems she has in life, someone else is at fault. And she will proclaim loudly to anyone listening what a victim she is.  She claims to have become an alcoholic in her 40’s due to problems with one of her husbands and a child. But anyone who knew her earlier knew she had a drinking problem 20 years earlier.

Whatever perceived slight is always blown out of proportion, no one, and I do mean NO ONE is allowed to call the bully out as they simply will not acknowledge they have a problem. Most are arrogant, cruel, selfish individuals. They will just add more insults and vicious gossip behind the back of whoever actually stands up to them.

What is the solution?? First, school and high school are not forever, and if you don’t like them, there is absolutely no reason to stay in contact with them later on in life.

Teach your children, your friends, acquaintances, that bullying is not acceptable behaviour call them out as bullies, tell teachers, co-workers, who-ever necessary. If you have to, go to the Police. To turn a blind eye is to be complicit. You become part of the problem, not the solution.

Teach children to stand up for themselves. The most unfortunate thing is that if no one ever calls them out, these bullies continue throughout their lives and the pattern is not broken.

Become friends with other people. They are actually out there. Get happy. Be with people who appreciate you. Feel good about your differences and your skills. Live a fascinating full life. It is truly the best revenge.