Category Archives: Integrity

Business, Consideration, Integrity, Quality

Keeping your word

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What is your reputation worth to you??  $500,   $1000??  $100??

A phone call??

A Lunch??

Fulfilling your obligations towards someone?

Paying your consignors??

Paying your suppliers??

Repaying the money you borrowed??

Doing the unpleasant chore you promised??

Spending time with someone you agreed to see, when you have a better invitation??

Are you allergic to the truth??

Do you get an imaginary rash when you have to do something you promised??

Today’s world with its instant gratification, has taken away Social Responsibility and Social Correctness.

If you tell someone you will call them back, DO IT.

If you say you will call someone to meet up for lunch, DO IT.

if someone invites you to their home, have the decency to give them appropriate notice that you are either coming or not, do not leave them hanging wondering if you have died or are simply incredibly rude. It takes time and money to receive guests.  Not replying is tantamount to theft. That food they purchased for your pleasure cost money. The time and thought they spent was spent out of consideration, to not reply is to throw it in their face.

Christmas is supposed to be a time where people visit with family and friends and have a good time, but unfortunately, it is also the time of year where we see some of the most unpleasant faces of many individuals.

Invitations come from many  directions,  waiting to answer  someone to see if you get something better is rude beyond belief. If you become known for this behavior, at some point no-one will invite you again, knowing they can’t count on you. This behaviour became rampant in London Society a few years ago, and a few Socialites started exchanging the names of the perpetrators. At some point, they stopped receiving invitations to ANYTHING.

This BLOG is just a reminder, this is also a time of year when many people are incredibly alone, and your rudeness and lack of consideration may put them over the edge.

Try keeping your word, be respectful, be thoughtful, be kind. People who actually keep their word are the most respected of all.  It is not your cool selfie that really matters. Not your title, not your fancy home or car. It is your WORD.

Happy Holidays!!!

Business, Consideration, Integrity, Quality

RESPECT!!!!

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YUK! YUK! YUK!!!

Dear Reader,

this BLOG was composed BEFORE COVID, and never posted. As infections are skyrocketing, and the behaviour we see boggles the mind, I decided to make several changes and post this as a wake up call….NO, I am NOT suggesting my readers are guilty of this behaviour, what i am doing is hoping that along the way I may actually save someone’s life.

Feel free to share this with individuals who exhibit this behaviour.

The utter lack of self respect, self awareness, and respect for others, exhibited by some people is beyond dispicable.

We are certainly not all brought up the same way, but a little consideration of others goes a long way.

This week, I had the unfortunate opportunity to witness some seriously disgusting social behaviour.

Taking a shower, washing your hair, brushing your teeth, washing hands, and nails, and wearing clean clothes to visit the Doctor. I sat in a waiting room for 2 hours with a mask on my face, and from what I could ascertain, of the 50 people coming and going, only 2, yes, 2 of us had showered, washed their hair, and were wearing clean clothes, shoes, etc.

Likewise, showering, shaving, washing your hair, using deodorant, brushing your teeth, putting on clean clothes when you are going out to dinner with others. Your lack of cleanliness
Does not add to anyone’s appetite, or wish to share anything with you, quite the contrary. UGH!

Coughing openly in a crowded room. Several boxes of facial tissues were free and available. Next time, perhaps take a few instead of
Sharing your illness with the rest of us….COVID equals DEATH. HELLOOOO

Coughing into your hand, then offering it to me to shake it. Seriously??? YUK! YUK! YUK!!

Leaving behind your used, gross, discarded tissues on the table in a restaurant expecting the server to remove it.
Do you not have pockets??

A little decency would be nice.

YES, we noticed.

Clipping your nails in a public place, letting them drop on the floor…. SOO disgusting… Is it really too much trouble to remove your self to the washroom next time??

Using the toilet and not flushing, then just to add to the image, not washing your filthy hands as you exit the washroom, touching EVERYTHING
Along the way….

Walking on the sidewalk with your mobile phone glued to your face, forcing everyone to step aside for you. Whatever you are looking at
Will still be there once you reach your destination.
It is just NOT that important.

Complaining endlessly about not being invited to social gatherings, but never, ever, initiating anything yourself, or, even better,
Putting your hand in YOUR pocket and paying for the others. Perhaps for once, try picking up the telephone, initiating and PAYING
For those who have been financing you forever.

Insisting on splitting the bill evenly in a restaurant, when you have been ordering numerous cocktails, bottles of wine, and extra courses, when others have NOT…. Some of us do not drink and drive. Why should we pay for you to get drunk?? ….why should we pay for you to eat a fat lobster, an entree, a desert, when we eat a salad with a coffee?? You KNOW who I am talking about…….

Being invited to a surprise Birthday party, arriving with a lovely gift, only to be told that you are expected to contribute to a group gift, and to add insult to injury, you are given an envelope and told the minimum amount…on top of paying for a meal with wine which is equally divided amongst the number of people at the table…..

Perhaps telling people in advance would be appropriate??
Some of us were NOT brought up to bring envelopes of money, in fact I have never heard of this practice before, and found it extremely offensive….and furthermore, I DID NOT DRINK ONE DROP OF THE WINE that I was obliged to pay for…..

Hosting a party for a 25th Wedding Anniversary, receiving expensive gifts and never, ever acknowledging them …..

Returning phone calls, promptly, regardless of the reason you THINK the person has called you.
Can you read their mind??

Why on earth would they return YOUR call in your moment of need, if you have always ignored theirs???

Another charmer invited my sweetie for a birthday lunch, proceeded to order like a mad fiend, drink cocktails and wine, act like a bigshot in the restaurant, so that everyone saw him, ordered a bottle of wine even though we BOTH protested we were not drinking, then STUCK US WITH THE BILL…….

Is there something not clear about the words…..WE DO NOT WANT ALCOHOL that you don’t understand???

Clearly not enough times, as you have since been purged from my list of friends, ….. NOW do you get it???

Panhandlers who have sad stories to tell but have been on the same corner for years, wearing expensive clothes, smoking $15 packages
Of cigarettes and drinking $2.50 soft drinks, who then become aggressive when you refuse to give them your hard earned cash. Some are extremely aggressive towards women, and will actually threaten them if they do not give them money……one actually chased my secretary up Peel Street……terrified…….

The pan handler who has spent years in front of Ogilvy’s married a woman he met in Florida during the winter, and she drives him to “work” in a brand new SUV…..

The same panhandlers who disappear the day after Christmas and go to Florida for the winter, then reappear at the end of March, with a fabulous tan…..

WHY are YOU giving them money?? …are YOU going to Florida for 3 months every winter???

People on Social Media who are always insisting that you ‘SHARE’ their posts, but never, ever ‘like’ anything that you post.

It would be nice, just for once, for you to acknowledge the rest of us…you are just NOT that special……

Did you ever consider that many of us totally disagree with your views??

Going to an event, such as a Birthday party, and being TOLD that we are expected to contribute generously to YOUR charity of the week?? Seriously??

People ramming their feel good ‘charity of the week’ down your throat, and trying to guilt you into contributing.
IF and when I decide to contribute to something, it will be what I chose, NOT you. Just STOP. It is your GUILT, not mine.

Endlessly posting pictures of your child or grandchild covered in food. It is NOT cute. One is enough, 20 is RUDE. NO, it is really not cute.

Once again, THANK YOU to all who anonymously contribute to this BLOG. Some of your comments are hysterical……and much appreciated in a
World gone mad.

Business, Communication, Consideration, Happiness, Integrity

A Life in Lockdown

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Take someone who is used to travelling up to 6 months of the year, meeting people all day long, then lock them inside their home for a year and what do you get???

A wicked case of Covid35….aaaaagh!!! my skinny jeans look at me aghast!!! To think I used to fit in them all!! They are horrified at my appearance, and shrink in horror….
(as if they weren’t tight enough)…!!!!

I consider myself extraordinarily fortunate. There is a very sweet, gentle, loving puppy who has offered her services to entertain, and is rarely more than a few feet away, providing endless kisses and love. If she could purr, she would.
Add to that an equally lovely life partner, and divine company is always close by.

Cooking is NOT my thing, Luckily having spent most of my life with one foot within the Asian community, I have learned to craft fast, healthy, tasty meals, 10 minutes from refrigerator to table.
Butternut squash Thai coconut soup, Tom Yum Seafood, Ratatouille, Mushroom Chicken, and occasionally, disgustingly rich Italian something, dripping in cheese, OK, so NOT Asian, just decadent.
A life partner who can actually follow a recipe…..(totally NOT my thing) and whips up decadent, wonderful meals.

Working from home is lovely, no traffic, no icy roads, no parking issues, but not being able to meet clients face to face and walk around is just NOT the same. Body language, facial expressions, micro expressions, eye contact, totally missing. Watching people interact with others, simply impossible.

Being doubled over in laughter, non-existent. Learning from extremely bright, extraordinarily creative executives……totally lacking.

Lots of time for contemplation and certain realizations. I see acquaintances adding Facebook friends as though those numbers actually matter. In fact, I find myself doing the exact opposite.
I have probably deleted over 40% of the people who were there…were they friends?? Acquaintances??? Taking advantage?? Or the big question…..do they actually make you laugh???

With death hovering outside the door every time you go out to do an errand due to all the selfish mask less people about, the concept of social distancing totally nonexistent, the concept of being locked in your house amplifies the desire to speak with friends who make you laugh, make you feel good, support you. People who are TRUE friends.

One such friend is in London, years have gone by, yet she answers the phone and I hear her voice booming down the line, and am instantly smiling. We speak easily for over an hour each call, endless laughter, sooo many subjects…..everything from Theatre, politics, Restaurants, food, endless……I hang up the phone, and am anxiously awaiting the next time we speak.

People complain about feeling isolated, but how many have reached out to those living alone and given them a smile?? A feeling of being less alone. A phone call is not expensive, but can have a huge impact on someone’s life. I do something utterly absurd with one friend, I send her pictures of Chelsey’s elegant toes, her bouncing, her eating poached salmon….with ridiculous subtitles. She knows we are always thinking about her, and are available instantly should she need us…..

Another British girlfriend rang up the other day, apologetic and embarrassed about her silence. But she knew she was safe, not being judged, as she described her horrific year. I told her off for not reaching out sooner. Made her promise she would call more often when she was upset.

Spend your time being kind. There is SO much evil and nastiness out there. From internet trolls to people who hate themselves and take it out on others.


Make sure you shower, wear clean, nice clothes, feel good about yourself. Read, educate yourself with all the extra time. Eat well…(well, maybe not TOO well)


Make someone laugh and feel needed.

The days won’t feel so dark.

Consideration, Impressions, Integrity, Quality, Relationships

The End of Elegance

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Over the last number of years, we have witnessed a rapid decline in elegance, be it manners, dress code or living style.

Some of us remember dressing for dinner, cocktail parties, and the appropriate behaviour to go along with it. Proper polite introductions, and making guests feel welcome and included in conversations.

Spectacular table settings with elegant seating, magnificent linens, mind blowing flowers, spectacular silver, cutlery and tableware. Alternating between speaking to those on the right and left, then across the table. NO cellphoes. Remember those days??

Women for the most part, dressed appropriately, not with flouncy dresses and hooker shoes. Men wore elegant suits with crisp, white shirts, and fabulous silk ties……

In London, one continues to see formal dress codes, although today they are finally being relaxed a little. Women are increasingly wearing tuxedos and trouser suits, which noteably, I have been wearing for longer than I will admit to. Absolutely NO dresses for moi.

I recently had an interesting conversation with a friend about the lack of elegance. (yes, of course it is you!!!)… she always looks quietly elegant in a Black Yves St Laurent Suit, understated, elegant, and total simplicity.

Elegant dress and behaviour seem to be something of the past, and many of us truly miss it.

People sent ( In England, they still do…) crisp, engraved invitation cards with gold leaf borders in nice stiff envelopes. One sent back a proper RRSP card, and subsequently a Thank You card and thoughtful gift to the hostess. Over the years, I have attended some extraordinary events around the world, some with a Footman for each guest.

House decoration has experienced a similar decline, all white cheap furniture does not make for an inviting or comfortable home. Remember huge down sofas and pillows?? Thick carpets, spectacular art works, period furniture?? ….Linen and fine cotton sheets with fluffy down duvets??
Remember when table settings were breath taking?? Dollar store glasses and dishes do not really inspire…..

These days we see individuals who should know better, arrive at Vernissages in cut off pants, open toe sandals (vulgar at the best of times, this is NOT the beach) and Tshirts….. who on earth does this??

Women arrive dressed like tarts with decolletages down to the naval and hooker shoes…..do you REALLY think those tacky gladiator heels are elegant??

I was at an event a few months ago, when a Senior Partner of a Law firm arrived very late, unshaven, his clothes looked and smelled as though he had been sleeping in them, upon entering the room, his behaviour was breathtaking, pushing and shoving his way through the guests to speak with someone he deemed important. Eyes were rolling quietly at his ghastly behaviour. It did not improve.

If his personality and presence were even remotely sparkly, his conversation entertaining, it would be one thing, but he is a dour, humourless, arrogant man. Age has not been kind to him….his real personality is increasingly showing, and sweet is certainly not an adjective which is even remotely present in one’s mind to describe him……

These events are meant to be happy social gatherings, a modicum of enthusiasm and curtesy towards the attendees is expected. But then, once again, he arrived empty handed and scarfed his way through the food and alcohol being served.

Perhaps I am harsh, but I was not brought up to behave in such a callous, inconsiderate fashion.

The latest social demise appears to be Birthday celebrations. Apparently they are acceptable for children and no one else.
In the past they were celebrated with style, elegant, thoughtful gifts and cards chosen to please the recipient and often to entertain the guests.

Today, people turn up late, inappropriately dressed and empty handed. Somehow they are under the impression that their presence is sufficient.
Let me be patently CLEAR, it is NOT.
It is the height of bad behaviour, and complaining about the cost of gifts being too expensive when you are alternatively bragging about your most recent purchase is utterly classless.

To accept lovely gifts from others, and not reciprocate, take a moment and consider just how rude that is….

Last word on the subject, corner store flowers and wine, and dollar store items are not acceptable, ever.

A sad anecdote on the subject. I used to have a girlfriend who was extremely generous towards her friends, both in terms of throughtful beautiful gifts, but also generously entertaining them. Year after year I was the ONLY one attending her birthday parties who showered her with wonderful thoughtful gifts. On more than one occasion, at the end her birthday party, she would be in tears, simply not comprehending just how these women who claimed to be her ‘best friends’ could be so inherently selfish, arriving either empty handed or with only a cheap bottle of wine.
NO, none of them have financial constraints.

Vicious trolls onilne……

WHAT is with that???
Ruining someone’s reputation posting untruths which can’t be removed. I do not understand what is the point, or how one derives some pleasure from such cruelty.
Posting an endless barrage of insults and distruths about total strangers.
There is something inherently wrong with our society when someone has to hire a lawyer at great expense and inconvenience to protect one’s reputation from these ugly trolls.
The mere fact that there are now companies whose entire business is trying to remove hateful, inaccurate posts is inconceivable and totally disgraceful.

Table Hopping is another social no no that I simply can’t abide. It is the most disrespectful thing I have ever seen. Individuals who go to a restaurant with someone, then walk around holding court as if they own the place, shaking hands, speaking with people for more than simply a polite acknowledgement ,and speaking loudly all the while leaving their dinner partner(s) wondering why they are there at all. How someone can possibly think this behaviour makes them look important escapes me.

Clearly I am not the only one feeling this way, it is becoming a subject on the lips of more and more people.
Hopefully this trend will reverse and we will return to a more elegant, considerate way of living…..

What do YOU think??

Business, Consideration, Happiness, Integrity, Listening, Security

And then the World Stood Still

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This is an extraordinary moment in time which will forever be etched in the memories of the entire population of the world. It is inconceivable that in the space of one week over 6 BILLION people across the planet simultaneously locked themselves in their homes with but a slight warning from some so-called world leaders.

The world came to a silent and abrupt halt.

Bustling streets around the world normally filled with people became instantly empty, videos taken by the brave, and by drones flying overhead bear witness to the odd seagull seeking lunch at his favourite restaurant and questioning the absence of food and humans.

‘But WHERE are my French Fries.???.” he asks quizzically…unused to the void of humans and potential food…..

It is extraordinary to see scenes of major international cities such as New York,, Paris, London, Rome, Milan devoid of human presence, and the silent return of wildlife, wandering around world monuments with no fear of human threat…..

We are fortunate that some internationally renown medical specialists stepped up to calmly explain a pandemic in simplistic terms to try to calm an otherwise terrified world.
This is the time when we truly see both the good and the bad of humanity. The medical and emergency professionals risking their own lives every moment of every day to try and save lives, at the same time as some truly arrogant politicians behaving in unconscionable ways trying to deflect and blame others for the crisis. Deaths spiraling out of control due to lies and gross incompetence, others stepping up ,speaking in measured, calm, logical words to try to explain something unexplainable.

We have heard of 6 degrees of separation, but unfortunately it is more like 10 feet of separation, as studies have proven that micro droplets travel much farther than previously believed.

As a long time student of human behaviour, I must admit to being speechless at some of the arrogant, selfish, ignorant behaviour I see around me. Neighbours with children who are clearly home from school for a reason, totally defying the rules of self isolation and separation. Some of them out socializing every day, large groups of children playing outside, their parents at home, not thinking of the risks they are putting on their children and themselves. One person can infect 1000.

People in shops and on the street unwilling to distance themselves from others, and when confronted, becoming belligerent and publicly insulting those who politely request that they step back….

This is NOT a joke.

This virus does not see age, race ,colour, socio-economic situation ……it is ruthless and will attack and kill anyone and everyone it encounters.

My small contribution is my ability to collect and collate information from around the world, and to distribute it first to my Doctor friends around the world and to my friends and acquaintances…If by providing information I can save and protect lives, then I have been successful….

So, PLEASE..don’t be selfish,

STAY HOME.

If you go out, COVER your mouth and nose.

Stay 10 feet away from others.

WASH your hands a LOT.

Wash your shoes and purchases when you arrive home.

Reach out to your friends by telephone, NOT by text and email….it is NOT the same.

SLEEP, READ, catch up on projects, and mostly

STAY ALIVE.

Consideration, Integrity, Listening, Security

COVID-19 and the Rise of the CovIDIOT

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I have a great number of friends who are medical doctors, and are putting their lives on the line for us EVERY DAY, and they are absolutely TERRIFIED.

They do not have anywhere close to sufficient self protection masks and gowns…

There is NO VACCINE

There is NO CURE

This is NOT A JOKE

Yes, I am incredibly selfish….but in a good way……..i want my friends to live long happy lives, I care about them deeply.

So, how about YOU STOP being SELFISH and DO YOUR PART…..

STAY HOME

SELF ISOLATE

WASH

WASH again

WASH EVERYTHING

Practice SOCIAL DISTANCING

Maybe we will all be alive to laugh about this some time in the future……

That is the only thing we can hope for…..

I have a great number of friends who are medical doctors, and are putting their lives on the line for us EVERY DAY, and they are absolutely TERRIFIED.

They do not have anywhere close to sufficient self protection masks and gowns…

There is NO VACCINE

There is NO CURE

This is NOT A JOKE

Yes, I am incredibly selfish….but in a good way……..i want my friends to live long happy lives, I care about them deeply.

So, how about YOU STOP being SELFISH and DO YOUR PART…..

STAY HOME

SELF ISOLATE

WASH

WASH again

WASH EVERYTHING

Practice SOCIAL DISTANCING

Maybe we will all be alive to laugh about this some time in the future……

That is the only thing we can hope for…..

R

Is there something not clear about the words…….

STAY HOME

STAY ISOLATED

SOCIAL DISTANCING

Do NOT congregate in groups of over 2 people…..

WASH your HANDS

WASH them AGAIN….and while you are at it, could you please shower and wash your filthy hair, and body, and wash your filthy clothes??

Going to the grocery store is terrifying enough, but what really boggles the mind is just how unclean, unwashed, unshaven, are the majority of the population wandering the aisles…

Staying at home is NO EXCUSE for not bathing, shaving or washing your dirty, stained clothes….if anything, it will give you something useful to do, and actually, the more you bathe, the healthier you and those around you will be……

I have always been way more aware of my surroundings than most, and see neighbours with 2 teenagers going in and out with their car 5-6 times a day…..not a mask in sight.

Where can you possibly go 5-6 times daily that is THAT important???   Then the younger child goes out and plays in the street with other children…..

I saw the older daughter get into the car with her mother 2 days ago, all dressed up with a gift bag in her hand, obviously going to a birthday party.

What is not clear about “ STAY HOME and SELF ISOLATE???”  your children are not in school for a reason, you are not working right now for the same reason……

IS IT NOT that OBVIOUS???

Then there are the photographs taken on Ste Catherine Street last week of close to 100 people standing in line all  crushed together to get into the POT store……

ONE person was wearing a mask and self distancing,

The other 99???   Potentially all murderers…..yes, I said it.

They have potentially exposed themselves to a deadly virus and some will be taking public transport to go home to whomever is waiting there, and along with the POT, they are bringing a deadly illness home as well.

YOU are NOT IMMUNE

YOU are NOT SPECIAL

YOU are an IDIOT!!!

Then there are the selfish, inconsiderate people who have been on airplanes which are essentially metal tubes acting as Petri dishes full of filth and germs, coming home, standing in huge cramped lines at the airport on both sides, coming home to their families, NOT self distancing, and touching everything in sight, from door knobs to faucets, toilets, counters, and then, just to add insult to injury, continuing to go out and socialize instead of following the LAW and self isolating for 14 days….

.

You are potentially going to KILL thousands of people with your arrogance and lack of consideration for others….

DO YOU GET IT YET???

Can you not at least TRY to control your selfishness during a world pandemic???

There is a day care in someone’s home, ostensibly closed to help curtail the spread of this deadly virus, yet 6 – 10 children on bicycles were in their driveway 2 days ago all together screaming at the top of their lungs and playing together…..

WHERE are the parents??

Why are their children outside unsupervised???

Every person those children come in contact with could now be exposed. SO, if there are elderly grandparents living in their homes, they are putting them at serious risk.

When you go to the grocery store, can you PLEASE think of others and not only yourself??  MINIMUM 6 feet separation , maybe be really considerate, turn around in the narrow aisle and go in the other direction.

DO NOT CROWD and chat with others, this is NOT a party. This is our LIVES and our FUTURES…..

I have a great number of friends who are medical doctors, and are putting their lives on the line for us EVERY DAY, and they are absolutely TERRIFIED.

They do not have anywhere close to sufficient self protection masks and gowns…

There is NO VACCINE

There is NO CURE

This is NOT A JOKE

Yes, I am incredibly selfish….but in a good way……..i want my friends to live long happy lives, I care about them deeply.

So, how about YOU STOP being SELFISH and DO YOUR PART…..

STAY HOME

SELF ISOLATE

WASH

WASH again

WASH EVERYTHING

Practice SOCIAL DISTANCING

Maybe we will all be alive to laugh about this some time in the future……

That is the only thing we can hope for…..

R

Business, Communication, Impressions, Integrity, Quality

IT’S FREE!!!!

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Most of the people I know are of above average intellect, and are more successful than the average, yet, nontheless, are drawn to aggressive advertising and often exhibit a level of naivety which is extraordinary.

Just to be clear, NOTHING is FREE.

YOU are the product.

My biggest bug a boo is DNA testing. It is being touted as super cool to find out about your family history. The Government and Insurance Companies have been trying to find a way to obtain this information forever …Information is POWER.

Yet, here you are, thinking just how COOL you are giving away your DNA, to these organizations, touting the COOLNESS of knowing your family tree.
Little tidbits are sent along, always requesting more information, please send along the name of your maternal grandfather, children, uncles, cousins…

Let me be VERY CLEAR, you have just GIVEN away your familial DNA without the express consent of ANY current and future family member.

If, for example, there are genetic illnesses in your family, such as Alzheimer’s, MS, Cancer, etc, and you are helping build a family tree, with NO ONE’s
Consent, have you not considered that members of your family could find themselves being hit with huge health and life insurance bills unknowlingly??

Some Insurance Companies are now insisting on DNA screening, others, the wearing of Fitbits, others, placing Black Boxes in your car to monitor
Your driving habits. By virtue of accepting to use one, you are also sharing your GPS being captured, so that they see EVERYWHERE you go.

“send us your Insurance application and we will look for the best rates for free’ !! are you really that guillable?? They have just shopped ALL your
Confidential information to 30 companies….WITH your consent…..

Do you STILL think it is free???

Let me repeat, YOU are the Product.

“Let us monitor your credit score””……..another one which makes my skin crawl…..

Wonder why you are being inundated with pre-approved credit card applications, financial service companies and car salesmen???

Your CONFIDENTIAL information has been SOLD, and you approved it.

“”TRY our matress for free””…

YUK ! YUK !!! YUKKK!!!

Does that mean if you do not keep it, the next poor sucker gets a used matress??

It is NOT free…… it is USED…..

“”Use OUR App to find the best Real Estate Agent in your neighbourhood””….
It is NOT free, the agents are paying to have their names there…..
SOO……are they the best, or only the ones who have paid???

“””Use OUR App to find the best Home Repair Specialist!!

See above….moreover, you have just GIVEN away your home address, and budget for home repairs….
When salesmen start knocking on your door offering their services, DO NOT be surprised…….

You GAVE away your information……

Do I have your attention yet??!!

Let me repeat, YOU are the PRODUCT!!

Looking for a mortgage??? Let US find you the best rates, just fill in OUR online application…. Listing ALL your assets and liabilities….. to a company
Offering to shop and find you the best rates…..guess what, ALL your confidential financial information is NO LONGER CONFIDENTIAL, they have
Shopped it to 30 companies who are now in possession of it. They are SELLING IT, ALL OF IT.

Just an additional thought, in that application, you listed all your possessions of value such as art and jewellery, and you GAVE THAT INFORMATION WAY.
Helloooo!!!

People are giving the government permission to take a facial scan for facial recognition, IRIS scans, fingerprints and now DNA….and you still do not think
You are being surveilled??

Does this not sound vaguely familiar…..???

The Government knows where you bank, and how you spend your money, and can close you down in an instant…..should they think you are cheating…..

YOU are the PRODUCT.

Start exercising your power and just say NO.

Business, Consideration, Impressions, Integrity, Listening, Quality, Relationships, Social Networking, Socialites

Musings and Observations of Seriously BAD Behaviour

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Bringing a seriously cheap bottle of wine to an event in someone’s home, digging in their closed cupboards to retrieve a fine vintage wine, slinking into a corner, opening the bottle and consuming it by yourself.

Yes, you did see this posted recently in the BLOG entitled ‘On being Selfish’, however, the outpouring of people calling and writing about this issue was extraordinary. Some of your examples absolutely hysterical, but at the same time, so very sad, as so many people are treating their hosts in such a greedy and callous manner.

You are absolutely welcome to share this BLOG, with the hopes that maybe one person recognizes their disgusting behaviour and changes it.

Arriving at the home of an extremely generous hostess empty handed, grazing your way through the most expensive food and drink, then having the audacity to ask the servers to prepare a plate for you to bring home.

Sneaking food home from a cocktail party. I have seen people filling endless napkins with huge Tiger Shrimp and other delectables, one rude wag actually would go into a corner and slip food into a large baggie, then go back for more. This event was NOT billed as TAKE OUT, it was in a private home, nor was it a fundraiser where the guests were expected to pay for a ticket.

Being invited to dinner then spending the entire evening texting on your phone, and not participating. If you didn’t want to come, next time, stay home.

Imposing your children on others They are simply NOT that cute or that special, and we do NOT want to hear about them or see their pictures.

Going to any Birthday Party empty handed, even if someone is hosting it for you.

Going to a Cocktail, Dinner , or Anniversary party empty handed.

Not sending a Thank You note. (see above)

Not sending flowers, or a gift to the hostess. (see above)

Aggressively asking someone for their assistance, then abruptly telling them that they are no longer required, as you have found another solution.

Telling everyone over a period of several months about your impending nuptials, claiming it will be ‘high society’, ( if YOU have to say it, then clearly it is NOT….) cheating with everything that walks on your soon to be wife, bragging endlessly to your male friends about your conquests, …some of whom told some of us…….

Sending invitations to your wedding to only some of the people to which you have been ranting endlessly over the past few months, filling the church with the guests who arrived all dressed up for this ‘fabulous’ occasion, having first sent expensive gifts to the home of the couple…..After the ceremony, the couple walked down the aisle, got into a few cars, including a couple of Rolls Royces driven by friends, and driving off into the sunset.
The guests naively thinking the wedding party was simply going to take pictures, found themselves standing around the church until they were rudely ushered out, and the church door loudly locked behind them.
Well over 100 people found themselves asking just WHAT exactly had happened, unfed, left behind, and utterly horrified. After a whle, some just wandered off, others went to a couple of restaurants for dinner, in complete and utter horror.

The wedding party, meanwhile, went to a private club for a very small, intimate dinner.

To say that my phone rang for weeks over this one, is an understatement.
NO ONE, let me repeat, NO ONE, had ever heard of, much less experienced anything as classless as this before, nor since.

Insisting on wearing your boots, shoes or whatever else footwear into a shoe free home. If you are told repeatedly NOT to wear shoes in the house, that is NOT an invitation to bring slippers or other footwear. NO shoes means NO shoes. It is the height of bad manners. If wearing your filthy footwear is more important than respecting the wishes of the hostess, please do us all a favour, and STAY home.

Going into a shop, having a shop clerk running around finding things for you to try on for over an hour, then leaving everything in a heap on the floor as if it was trash, and walking out without as much as a Thank You, or, making a purchase. That person is on commission, you just treated them worse than your personal servant, you stole an hour of their time for which they were not compensated, and worse, all the garments now look used and must be tidied and hung up.

Going to a soiree in a high end fashion store, drinking copious quantities of alcohol, eating everything in sight, taking endless selfies with both expensive merchandise and guests who are utterly unaware they are being photographed, and not purchasing a thing.
YES….they DID see you, and YES, they are talking about it…….guess how I found out about it!!!!!

Telling someone , “ we MUST do lunch repeatedly, I miss you SO MUCH….” Then never calling……

Walking up to a celebrity at a Fund Raiser, interrupting them, foisting your business card into their hand, and loudly exclaiming so that half the room hear you speaking…….”I would LOVE to get together with you for lunch……You MUST call me…….”…..pretending to be their best friend, when they DO NOT HAVE the SLIGHTEST CLUE who you are, nor, are they remotely interested in finding out. Their horrified facial expression just told it all……and YES, we saw it all……..

Turning upn at a fancy ball in a low cut, flouncy chiffon dress and carrying on like you are the Belle of the Ball. PLEASE take a serious look at yourself in the mirror. PLEASE repeat. …. Maybe, once more, just to be sure……

You are NOT a 16 year old, 100 pound anorexic model, nor are you a rock star. Exposing it ALL is just plain VULGAR.

Going to the aforementioned Ball, walking up to total strangers, interrupting their conversation mid sentence, and ingratiating yourself into their group. They do NOT know who you are, and after your incredibly rude pushy behaviour, have no interest whatsoever in finding out who you are.

Paying a PR to organize a reception in your Store – Art Gallery…..then spending the evening fussing over the shiny new faces you have never seen before and totally ignoring those individuals who have been paying your bills for years….. You DO realize that we have an abundance of choices of where to shop, do you not???

Fussing over the pretentious millenial who has 10 handbags spread all over the counter which she is photographing, and totally ignoring the quiet discreet individual who is actually dressed in high end designer clothes…..if someone is wearing a huge diamond ring, a large Vuitton purse, Hermes shoes, scarf and belt, they can probably afford to buy something else……..do you REALLY think the 20 year old has the cash?? Attitude is NOT cash.

Posting rude, beligerent comments on the Facebook pages of strangers just because you do not agree with them. You DO realize that you can be found, do you not???

…..and then there are the Drama Queens……..why is it that some people just will NOT stop posting and carrying on endlessly whenever there is some incident in their lives?? Are we supposed to run to your side to support you in your milisecond of need?? Give you money?? Take you out for dinner to console you??? Pity you??? … For a few, the feelings towards them has now run to utter disgust. Reposting endlessly on the anniversary of your mother’s death, her birthday, your dead friend, sending emails and sharing them with your friends to share so that your ‘sorrow’ is amplified a thousand times?? Stressing how we MUST all get together to support poor, sad you??

Seriously???!!!

What about the rest of us ??? We have ALL experienced loss, some of us have lived through absolutely horrific life events, yet, nary a call.
But then, we were elegant, quiet, discreet. We did not tell anyone, We did not post and repost and amplify, tweet or whine.

Walking into a grocery store with large reusable bags, filling them in the trolley, then arriving at the cash and paying for just a few items.
This new, absolutely INSANE trend of forcing us to bring our own bags in order to shop has generated a level of theft which has exploded.
People, we are ALL PAYING for this.
Some of us have brought it to the attention of store managers, but it is now so extreme that it is an epidemic. PLEASE do something …the cost of YOUR groceries will double if you do not.

Making a big deal about inviting someone to lunch to celebrate their birthday. Ordering cocktails and endless dishes that ‘you MUST try,” making absolutely sure that EVERYONE in the restaurant hears and sees you carrying on, then sticking the birthday boy with the total bill for several hundred dollars, who, just to be totally clear, ordered ONE plate of food and NO alcohol.

Truly, real life is more outrageous than make believe………

Communication, Consideration, Impressions, Integrity, Listening, Quality

On Being selfish

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We have all met them, it could be a friend, family member, work associate, but it is ALWAYS about them. Their image, their birthday, their finances, their needs. But what happened to the rest of us??

Manners are considered to be the social grease. Perhaps not the most elegant choice of words, however, having good manners at the very base, is having consideration for others. 

Not doing to others what one does not wish to have done to oneself.

Selfishness rears its ugly head in a myriad of ways, it can be cloaked in jealousy, arrogance, or just the total lack of empathy or consideration of others.

From those who post endlessly on Facebook, and want us to ‘like’ and ‘share’ their beliefs, events, and successes, but would never consider doing the same for others.

Those who only promote or help those who they think can advance their own cause. 

Those who argue their beliefs but are utterly unwilling to allow that others may have a totally different opinion. Our life experiences are all different,  the best part about meeting and conversing with people is that one can actually learn, and sometimes from the most unlikely people. 

Not responding to an RSVP in a timely and considerate way, waiting until the last  possible moment in case something better turns up, but ignoring the fact that the person extending the invitation has to plan and purchase food and drink accordingly, as well as planning for the number of wait staff if it is a large event.

Turning up at an event with an unexpected guest or guests, and not warning the host prior to your arrival, forcing them to scramble trying to set extra places at the table, and figure out just HOW to extend the allocated food to feed the extra mouths, given the meal was planned for a lesser number of guests.

Not sharing information in a business setting in order to appear more important than they are. This works for a while, but inevitably backfires, as once people catch on, they will actually cease inviting the hoarder to meetings. 

Not considering that other people actually have feelings, and your words are harsh and hurtful.

Always turining up at a Dinner Table or Cocktail party empty handed, regardless the event. Have you ever considered just how much work it is to entertain, and just how much it costs??

Expecting fabulous gifts for your birthday, wedding, Christmas……and receiving amazing thoughtful gifts, but never reciprocating?? Regardless of whether it is your family or best friend, it is simply arrogant and rude.  Just like you love the excitement of unwrapping an amazing gift or gifts, so do they.

Please do not insult our intelligence by stating that you did not have time or that money is tight, but then sit and talk about all the posh restaurants and bars you have visited, the new shoes and purse, trip, car… you just purchased, the fun events you have been to, as you chow down on our food and drink. You knew about the event well in advance and had ample time to arrange something. If you are really that clueless about what to purchase for someone, PICK UP THE PHONE and ask someone.

I had one friend who actually was generous, however her constant borrowing of money and complaining about being broke at the same time as showing off another $4000 handbag or another trip to Europe simply became too much. Just making a feeble attempt to pay back SOMETHING would have been an amazing gesture, but it never came. 

People wanting your professional advice in business, yet always telling you that they can’t provide any assistance for whatever reason  when you need something in return…..hellooo??

People in Vintage and Antique stores selling you something and exclaiming how fabulous it is until you have paid for it, but if, heaven forbid, you wish to sell it at a later date telling you that it is worthless after they have insulted it for 5 minutes….

Can you really hear yourself??  And WHY on earth would I EVER buy from you again??   

We live in interesting times. 

A little consideration and generosity goes a long way.

We DO remember.

Communication, Impressions, Integrity, Job Hunting, Listening, Social Networking

What to do when the head hunter calls….

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We have been in a market expansion for a number of years, and millennial’s have been extraordinarily fortunate to have never lived through a major market meltdown, never lived through high double digit interest rates or massive layoffs.

This has brought a level of arrogance which most employers find extraordinary. Candidates are approached for positions and their responses are often arrogant beyond belief, Granted, many are being approached by a panoply of individuals, however, being rude or simply not returning phone calls is NOT the answer. We are ALL being approached, regardless of our level or title, often by rude, low level clerks in agencies who have absolutely no clue about our industry. Yes, being called by an idiotic 19 year old with 3 weeks of work experience is not ideal by any stretch of the imagination, but we are not all created equally. Some of us actually have more industry experience than you have, so being flippant, condescending and downright rude, is not appreciated.

When the market ultimately crashes and thousands lose their cushy jobs with free food and sleep rooms, we will remember those who were mind numbingly rude. Yes, we actually do keep notes, and we actually are known to share.

If you are asked to something by a Senior Head Hunter, from changes on your resume to providing documents, do it immediately. If you are asked a second or third time, you are simply proving that your career advancement is not that important to you. If you say you will call on a particular day, do it, or follow up with a note or call to apologize, and schedule your next call. Life throws us all situations where we are not able to deliver on a promise, but calling to apologize immediately is the best response.

Do NOT tell the Head Hunter you are too busy or worse, too important. They may have the opportunity of a life time, and you just convinced them that you are not the ideal candidate.
The last individual who told me that missed out on an amazing opportunity. The candidate who took the position was promoted after several months and is earning over twice the salary, not to mention extraordinary benefits, than one of the individuals who told me he was a ‘very busy, important man”…..yup, he is still at his old employer earning a fraction of the lucky candidate. Guess he is not so important after all. NO, he will never be called again.

Do NOT tell Senior Head Hunters you know better than them, you would be surprised at the mandates we receive. Some executive somewhere is paying us to find the best. To presume that you know better, is to essentially say that the Senior Executive who gave us the mandate is stupid. Do you really want to do that???

Our Consultancy is actually just that, a High End IT Consultancy, we all have over 25 years of actual IT experience. Some more technical than others. Never did we plan on doing Search, but after being lied to and scammed by several agencies in the past, we ascertained that there HAD to be a better way, our clients agreed. We started in Search with more mandates than we could ever possibly fill.

Just because you feel some sense of importance having received several calls for new positions, do NOT become arrogant. People speak, even competitors. High End Head Hunters also speak with their clients and will give names of individuals to ‘KEEP OFF’.

Our database literally has hundreds of names marked with the notation , KEEP OFF’.

People who were rude, chauvinistic, arrogant, do not return phone calls, did not deliver on promises, have bad references, were fired repeatedly, have fake degrees, fake job titles, have resumes on Linkedin which bear NO resemblance to the 5 we currently have on file, or are on the take.
It is easy to be arrogant when the market is booming, but it always crashes, and many of the rudest people are the ones who call back like they are your ‘NEW BEST FRIEND’ …do you really think we are remotely interested in helping them??? If they are rude to us, just how rude are they within the companies where they work??

If a Senior Head Hunter gives you advice on anything from dressing, etiquette, hygiene, comportment, listen to them. A Senior Executive is paying for their expertise, and you are NOT the only person out there.

For those of us who have survived numerous recessions and even depressions, our clients come to us for a reason, and they are paying for our expertise. We actually do understand the mandate and are seeking the brightest, best out there, and manners figure very loudly into that equation. And YES, we are paying attention. If your behaviour is rude or arrogant, how can we possibly trust you to work within the client environment??
Taking yourself too seriously will have us running to find someone with a sense of humour and humility.
Yes, I absolutely used the word humility. Don’t have any, don’t call us.

Wake up people.
You are just NOT THAT SPECIAL.