Category Archives: Integrity

Business, Communication, Consideration, Impressions, Integrity, Social Networking

Views on Aging

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Life comes with an automatic death sentence. No matter how rich or famous, successful or not, death is an absolute. Life is to be lived and embraced. It is an opportunity to live, travel, taste, see, and experience all the amazing sights in this world, to meet extraordinary people in extraordinary places. I have been extremely fortunate in my life, and have met some unbelievably incredible people from every part of the globe. How you view life and appreciate the time you have goes very much along the lines of whether the glass is half full or half empty.

In both my Professional and Personal life, I meet an inordinate number of people from every corner of the globe, and love the fact that everyone has stories to share. It is an amazing way to learn. Similarly, I am absolutely mesmerized at meeting individuals in their 20’s who are obsessing about their retirement, and have not considered the option of living their lives on a daily basis, at the same time as meeting others who embrace life in the fullest, and will not stop moving forward. From the 80 year old who decided and succeeded in becoming an artist, and has had a couple of solo exhibits in art galleries, travels extensively, including a jaunt to Hong Kong to meet up with an old friend.
How do you have an intelligent conversation with a 20 something who refuses to learn another language, has been nowhere, done nothing with their life, has no hobbies to speak of, no accomplishments, no enthusiasm, no curiosity, and tells you that once they retire they might actually consider doing something?? With that TOTAL lack of drive, it is questionable whether they will actually survive long enough to retire, being old and boring at 20.

Some people are born whiners, others develop into whiners to elicit attention, every little incident intensified as though it was a major crisis of epic proportions, yet others experience horrific experiences in their lives and quietly, stoically, push on silently.

Since last fall, I have once again had to face my friends dying monthly, some months, more than one. Some young, some old. It is very difficult to say goodbye to so many people. But at the same time, I consider myself to be extremely fortunate to have known them and shared some small part of their lives. Some funerals, like people, are dismal and depressing, others joyful, a celebration of a life well lived. What is it that defines your view on living?? Are you joyous? Engaging? Entertaining? …or one of those people, who, as in some of the cartoon characters, are walking through life with a gray cloud over your head.
What is it about some people who are such whiners, negative, depressing, demanding, exhausting, who experience no joy, yet they have faced no hardships, when others who have lived through so much worse endure silently.

Facebook and social media present an incredible window on social behaviour. I am truly blown away by some of the things posted by certain individuals, and the depths to which they will sink to garner attention. There are so many toxic people bringing darkness instead of joy. I prefer to purge the darkness and embrace the light, if that means fewer friends, but joyful friends who bring laughter, then I am more than prepared to live with that. I would rather live with laughter and joy than darkness. It is sunny outside, I will go soak up the sunshine alone, breathe in its heat and joy, and banish those to darkness, and celebrate my extraordinary luck in having shared my life with extraordinary people, many gone too soon.

Business, Communication, Impressions, Integrity

A Reality Check

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Poor fragile snowflakes endlessly complaining that they are being harshly targeted and derided, their fragile egos suffering, unfortunately much of the criticism is absolutely real.

We recently contracted the services of a company, and were told, in no uncertain terms, that we not only had to leave a substantial deposit but that we had to pay IN FULL at least one week prior to someone coming to do the work. WHAT??!!??

After demanding a proper explanation, as we had never experienced this before, the Manager was brought into the office to explain the reasoning behind this. We have both owned homes for a very long time, in my case, I totally restored, not renovated, every inch of a 100 year old house in Westmount. Never, had I been told to pay first.

The Manager was extremely polite and explained the progression of their business practices, and how the business world has changed, just within his short career, and he is, admittedly, a millennial himself.

No longer the ability to do business with a handshake,
No longer having clients respect the contracts they sign.

It is every man for himself.

He explained that most of his friends live lives that grotesquely exceed their incomes. Big fancy homes, pools, fancy cars, posh vacations, ALL on credit. Many have 5-6 credit cards, ALL maxed out, yet they continue to live well above their means, and zero cash in their pockets, no consideration whatsoever what will happen if their lose their jobs, or how they will ever repay their escalating debts. As many have not lived through a recession, they live like it can’t ever happen to them.

When he first started working in this company, he found himself doing phone collections as he is even tempered, and bilingual. He was utterly shocked at the names and addresses of those he had to chase. Over the next couple of years, the volume multiplied exponentially, prompting him to seriously review his own behaviour towards credit, as well as participating in creating new policies and procedures for his employer. He discovered that their cost of collections was rapidly exceeding the profit margins on some of their contracts. Obviously, like everything else, there are some millennials who are hardworking and fiscally responsible, and I certainly know many of them. They are living well within their means, not eating in posh restaurants, wearing flashy designer clothes, instead they are concentrating on their careers and their futures over the immediate 10 second gratification of a selfie!! Their view is long term, with certain goals to be met along the way.

However, walk down any main street, look into fancy restaurants, high end designer shops, art galleries, and see people more focused on the phones in their hands than their surroundings. Image, for them, is everything, and it is managed practically down to the nanosecond. As discussed in previous blogs, one has to wonder as to how long term friendships can possibly be made, as everything is superficial and only about the instant image. How many ‘friendships’ will endure the endless hardships and mishaps that come with life?? From job loss, health issues, family problems…….financial problems…….who will remain??

What started as a polite explanation of their business practices evolved into a 40 minute discussion of millennials and their extraordinary sense of entitlement. Feeling that it is acceptable not paying others for their time and services, at the same time as over valuing their own contributions.

In our business, we unfortunately encounter this arrogance on a daily basis, the extraordinary lack of courtesy and respect. Like every industry, there are individuals and companies who have made it difficult through their bad behaviour, however, new trends like ghosting employers, brings bad behaviour to a new level, never before seen. Not responding to phone calls or emails, they have not yet learned that people running business actually do speak to one another, and names of offenders are shared, sometimes even between competitors.

Call someone with over 20 years of experience, you usually get a call back within a short period of time, if some time elapses, one usually receives an apology for the delay. Call the President of a Fortune 500 company, they usually call back within an hour. Call someone with under 10 years of experience, expect utter silence, or total condescension and incredible arrogance… I frankly have a hard time with some of the things I have heard over the phone…….from strangers, who have no clue who they are speaking to, but feel that they are superior,and untouchable. My contact lists are exploding with notes against people’s names describing their rudeness, and whatever the industry, the behaviour is a constant. Having friends and acquaintances in every possible industry imaginable, it is a common theme.

SO, return calls, return emails, be gracious, you never know who is watching, or more importantly, what you could be missing. Some of the people I have called have missed out on opportunities where they could DOUBLE their salaries and work for extraordinary companies. They will never know. I will NEVER contact them again, EVER. From shops to galleries, restaurants, their names are increasingly on lists, and increasingly, they are being shared. There is never an excuse for seriously bad behaviour.

Business, Communication, Consideration, Impressions, Integrity, Privacy

Whatever Happened to Discretion??

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There was a time when people of a certain class were proud to keep their private lives out of the public eye. Your name was in the newspaper at birth, marriage and at death, and every effort was made to keep it out for the balance of their lives.

Today, with Social Media, you are considered a loser if you don’t have thousands or even millions of followers on Facebook , Twitter, Instagram, Linkedin filled with endless selfies, delivered almost every millisecond to ensure maximum exposure.

Bragging has become the lexicon for success and visibility. Life is measured and appraised by following the so-called ‘influencers’ on Instagram, snapping images of every facet of their lives, ostensibly to deliver instantaneous views, the rhetoric defining their lives, questionable, as to whether all this actually delivers quantifiable results beyond ego enhancement.

It is a pernicious, dangerous path, for when life and one’s popularity are measured in micro-moments, how can you develop real, honest, and not simply imagined friends??

Is it a real life or a fictitious, staged existence for a fickle, imagined audience, living vicariously through the imagined lives of the various individuals they follow?? Poses in luxurious surroundings, shows of extravagance, beautiful possessions, often staged in shops or in borrowed clothes and homes of friends or acquaintances for long enough to take a selfie.
These same people, dropped equally fast when someone new and more fabulous emerges into view.

Whatever happened to NOT bragging about one’s wealth, popularity or success?? About being gracious, discreet, elegant, kind??

Some people have hundreds of birthday greetings with gushing adoration from their followers, yet spend the actual day totally alone.

Certain individuals have their PR Maven’s on speed-dial racing to ring up newspapers or posting endlessly on Social Media the staged fabulousness of their clients, be it their so-called social lives or business successes.
Appearances at cocktails, balls, gallery openings, conferences, meticulously posted with the requisite photograph to promote their fabulousness. But what do they truly have to offer beyond their staged, fake lives?? Are they educated?? Travelled?? Sophisticated?? Elegant?? Interesting?? Well Spoken?? Have they actually done ANYTHING beyond actually showing up?? Can one actually have an interesting conversation about something other than themselves??

It is extremely unfortunate that in today’s world, being on Social Media is no longer a choice but a necessity, driven by the impression that with no media presence either you or your company do not exist. That most of the most extraordinary websites are for companies that barely exist, and many of the truly successful ones, barely have a social presence. They actually provide a product or service which is in demand within their industry, and do not wish to be inundated with spam.

People do business with people. People make friends with people. People DO NOT do business with Social Media. Some people actually value discretion.

Business, Communication, Consideration, Impressions, Integrity, Listening, Quality, Social Networking, Socialites

WHO are you??

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Perception is everything, or is it??
Do you really know who someone truly is??

Some people are awesome at self-promotion, to the extent that they will engage the services of a PR to develop their ‘brand’ or public personae, and it is amazing just who pays for it. There are innumerable socialites and business people who pay for the proper introductions, and invitations to sparkly events so they can meet the ‘right’ people.

Different people may perceive the same person in totally different ways, one may be excited to be their ‘friend’ , in newspeak, ‘honoured’ to be their acquaintance, when another may see them as a total fraud. Who is right??
Obviously, there is context, as well as personal experience and judgement.
Add to that, the fact that some view the world through pink lenses, and always believe what they are told. So, if they were introduced to someone and told the individual is super successful, the new associate will obviously identify with them in a positive manner.
Issues include context, social, business, timing, physical chemistry, jealousy, as well as something as simple as having a good or bad day. Some people are gullible, and are totally swayed by those who are able self promoters, they truly WANT to believe. The art of self-aggrandizement, particularly today with the volume and nature of social media, as well as many people feeling socially inferior, are apt to grasp on to the person who appears to have a large, fabulous life, as they hope that, by extension, they will be a part of it.
The question which must be asked is, how much is real?? Are you a follower, a believer or a doubter??
Admittedly, I am a doubter, If something or someone appears too good to be true, and I have never either heard of them, or been under a totally different perception, I tend to investigate to establish whether my perceptions and at times physical reaction to someone is accurate.
I know for a fact that I am the epitome of the wrong first impression, most women who judge me and know nothing about me are virtually ALWAYS wrong, and I mean TOTALLY wrong, not just a little, and this is the basis point for this discussion.

The younger generation are obsessed with following movie stars and bloggers and their perceived ‘fabulous lives’, but how much is true?? We know that you can actually BUY friends and ‘clicks’ today, so, do they really have 1 million followers, or is it really 50,000 and a lot of buying power??
If you are trying to associate with someone simply because you believe them to be successful, shouldn’t you ask the question as to why they would actually want to associate with YOU??? What is it they are seeking? Friends?? Sycophants?? Or is it more of the façade……? Do they feel so insecure that they need to have someone with them at all times??

Actions speak louder than words, so follow the actions and not the rhetoric. The reality may be far from what you perceive……….

Integrity, Privacy, Quality, Security

George Orwell’s 1984 has arrived with a vengeance

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Let me begin by saying that I have spent most of my career working within the Advanced Technology Industry, with some of the most gifted individuals in the industry.
It has been extraordinarily exciting to see the development of new ground-breaking technologies, but at the same time, the utter erosion of our privacy is extremely concerning, and most people blindly GIVE everything away, with absolutely NO thought as to their actions.

If you continually provide your confidential information willingly, and sign your rights away, as well as your ability to pursue legal action, do not be surprised to know that the government has more information on you and your movements than ever before.

NSA monitors over 20 BILLION conversations and messages every 24 hours.

Airport Security is increasingly demanding both IRIS scans and Fingerprints depending upon your country of origin.

Facebook sold the confidential information of 87 MILLION users to Cambridge Analytica, as well as that of their contacts, without their knowledge or consent.
Equifax lost the confidential credit information on over 15 MILLION people, and have the audacity to aggressively promote online credit scoring and verification, FOR A FEE, as if they could possibly be trusted.
Saks, Lord & Taylor just lost credit data on 5 MILLION clients.
TJX lost 45.7 MILLION
UBER lost 57 MILLION.
And the list goes on and on…….

Today nearly all mobile phones contain GPS, as well as the majority of new vehicles.

Should I go on???

There is a company advertising endlessly that you should send them your credit information and they will choose the best credit cards for your needs.
‘Send us your DNA” to check your ancestry
“send us your DNA’ to check if you have colon cancer…

Submit your income tax returns online using our software…..
Send us your confidential financial information so that we can source the best mortgage, home re-financing, student loan re-financing, life insurance, health insurance, investment opportunities……..the list goes on and on……
All I can say, is DO NOT DO IT.

You have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER who is receiving your confidential information, or what they are actually doing with it. So, when your identity is lost, where do you look??…. by providing the information willingly, and agreeing to the terms of use, you have signed away all your rights. YOU are the product, and you have given these companies free reign to do as they wish with your data.

The latest scam is companies offering to do a ‘dark web scan’ for a fee, seriously??? … it is laughable, as there is NO SUCH THING. The dark web is not indexed, so it is a fraudulent offer…….

Are you afraid yet?? Every time you do a quiz or survey on line you are giving away more of your information.

Consider the increasing use of facial recognition in airports, parking lots, on the street, stores, and businesses. It is being used to follow people, watch their behaviour, and increasingly target them for store offers……
There are an increasing number of companies monitoring the phone calls and emails of their employees, some with knowledge and approval, others not.

Most people have never considered privacy or encryption, or the retention of their private information.

It is YOURS, it is worth guarding. Be vigil.

Business, Consideration, Impressions, Integrity, Quality

Customer Appreciation

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If you are a regular reader of this BLOG, you will know that I tend to be all over the place, and visit an astounding cross section of shops and restaurants from some of the most exquisite in the world to absolute dumps, and everything in between, including Hawker Stalls where one stands in public to eat. Absolutely NOT what I was brought up to do, however in between an abundance of Chinese friends and a Japanese husband, one enhances one’s life experiences appropriately, and obviously with a sense of adventure.

YES, I have eaten in some incredibly exquisite places, the most notable being in a Restaurant in a Private Home in Japan. It was a massive traditional Japanese structure dating back over 500 years, obviously Tatami, where the entire second floor of the house has actually been a restaurant for over 500 years. This is one of the many secrets one discovers travelling throughout Asia, as there is no way an outsider could know this exists. No advertising, ever. Simply upon personal recommendation.

The huge antique lacquer table was incredible, the lacquer hand rubbed to a brilliant gloss. The art work in the alcove and throughout, of museum quality, and as is traditional with fine Japanese dining, the dishes were all antique, appropriate to the season, as was the food which was presented. Each changed with each of the 18??? Courses which were served over a period of several hours. Everything was absolutely delicious. A total feast for all the senses.

It was difficult to be elegant and discreet however, when my brother in law started peeling off 100, 000 Yen notes endlessly, I absolutely shudder to think what this cost, but it was in the thousands of dollars. An opportunity of a lifetime. It was an amazing experience from start to finish.

From London to Paris, Amsterdam to Monte Carlo, Tokyo and Hong Kong, I have been fortunate in my life to experience some of the best dining there is to be had. Concurrently, eating in Asian Restaurants where the majority of my white friends would not EVER set foot.

The best Hawker Stalls, undoubtedly in Singapore. Government regulated, no worry about the possibility of getting sick, and the choices are endless. Singapore is a wonderfully diverse place, so there is everything from Thai to Indonesian, Chinese, Indian, and more. ….incredible fresh fruit treats from the tastiest freshest fruits ever, smoothies and freshly made ice creams, and fabulous Asian desserts…….

With the New Year, comes the closing of several well known shops and restaurants. One of which was extraordinarily disappointing as I have known the owner since he arrived from Japan. No notice whatsoever to any regular customers or friends. Just a public notice to announce that they have closed, and thank you. It would have been fitting to contact people such as myself who brought them a constant stream of new clients to advise us so that we could come one or two more times before it closed, but it was not to be.
A Chinese Restaurant in Chinatown which used to be my ‘go to’ spot, gone, but admittedly I have not gone there for years as the waiters became rude and arrogant, as they say, familiarity breeds contempt.
A bakery which was part of Westmount’s landscape, and a meeting place, closed surreptitiously, not surprisingly however, as the staff were arrogant and refused to speak English to the clients. The store across the street increasingly stocking a cornucopia of breads and cakes for significantly less cost, and slowly rendering them redundant.

With the closing of my favourite Dim Sum Restaurant in Chinatown a few years ago, I was excited to learn about a new restaurant, so I visited a new Dim Sum Restaurant in Chinatown this week, touted as typical Hong Kong, and it was certainly not the case. Having stuffed my face all over Hong Kong and Kowloon, it fell seriously short in presentation and taste. The food was served luke warm, mediocre in taste, and it was not overly friendly.The head waitress made 2 condescending remarks to me which were highly inappropriate. The first was to bring me tea and make a point of stressing that it is free in Chinese Restaurants. Then, after seeing me eat using Chopsticks and a bowl, NOT A FORK AND PLATE, stopped by to make another condescending comment about whether or not this was the first time I was eating Dim Sum. Seriously??? I have been eating real Chinese Food for twice as long as her, and arguably in more Chinese Restaurants in Chinatowns all over the world.
To make matters worse, they have been spamming me endlessly on Facebook, and none of the dishes even vaguely resembled what they presented on line.
NO, I will not go back.

Several other major closings of restaurants and shops which have been around for a while and quietly disappeared just after the holidays. Is it that the new generation are fickle?? Well, that is one explanation, as they tend to follow whatever trend or spot which is trending on social media, or is it simply that NONE of them have the vaguest concept of CUSTOMER RECOGNITION??

During the same period I visited a high end shop mid week to look for a very particular new belt. I was seeking a particular shade of pink. Sorry to disappoint, but every year or so it is obvious that I am a chick!!! And Pink it is!! I have been chasing this elusive belt for a few years, and had hard cash in my pocket. Do you know how HARD it is to spend your money?? In 3 high end boutiques I was totally ignored while the staff pretended to be busy. Did I mention I was the ONLY client??? Yes. Just moi. So in each case, I looked around and walked out. In the most expensive of the group I was actually acknowledged by the Assistant Manager who told me he continues to seek a pink or purple belt for me, but so far, no joy. Only boring, traditional colours, brown, black……

So, out of frustration, I returned to one of the other boutiques where I had been ignored to be finally served, and advised that the belt on the counter was the only one in my size. The lady actually went into the back-store to check, and let me know there was nothing. They were waiting for the new shipment. So, this elegant,, polite, French (read from France) lady made a sale. The original shop clerk who had ignored me hovered in the background. Did she EVER acknowledge me during my first visit?? Absolutely not.

It is easy to blame technology and the disruption it is causing in a rapidly evolving world, but whatever happened to doing something simple like actually THANKING your long term customers and show some sign of appreciation?? The ones which survive have learned that you can’t always just take, take, take, and sometimes just a small token of appreciation goes a long way.
If you NEVER thank people for being faithful long term clients, at some point they will take their custom and drift away, no advanced technology required. Just 2 words:

THANK YOU.

Business, Communication, Consideration, Impressions, Integrity, Quality, Relationships

On Cruelty

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We live in strange times, this has been said repeatedly over the centuries, unfortunately we appear to have reached the apex in disgraceful behaviour.

Gone are the days of civility, or any soupcon of decency, just pure unadulterated arrogance and utter cruelty. The concepts of consideration and good manners are treated with contempt. Those who are mind-numbingly rude and pushy, and constantly bragging about themselves are treated with awe, they must be truly AMAZING to be able to behave like that.

When bad manners are given nomenclatures such as ‘ghosting’ you know there is a serious problem in society.
Total strangers post cruel cutting comments on Facebook, insulting those opinions which vary from their own.
Bullying both on line and in person have reached absolutely catastrophic levels, as has the levels of youth suicide.

People decide to humiliate and insult others thinking they are somehow the ‘cool kids’ regardless of the pain they may cause others, but worse, they actually brag about it. The sad thing, is they usually know absolutely NOTHING about the person they are humiliating.

Clearly I grew up in a gentler more civil environment. Good manners and respect for others being forefront in one’s comportment.

Making a large number of friends within the Asian Community brought a further understanding of such concepts as ‘Honour’ and ‘Face’, simply and extension of previous learnings.

On Friday I was in a grocery store in the north end of the city, and asked a gentleman for assistance. He turned to look at me, and I saw his face was severely disfigured, probably from fire. He was extraordinarily shy. He explained he would have to go into the basement of the store to find my mushrooms, and it could take 5 minutes, and I assured him I would not move from my current spot. Several minutes later he emerged with an enormous box of fresh Portobello mushrooms, newly wrapped and boxed. I thanked him and wished him a wonderful New Year. He grasped my hand and wished me the same, with a huge smile on his face, and clearly wanting to continue speaking with me, so I chatted with him for a couple of minutes, then paid and left. It was only while I was driving away that I realized I was probably the only person who had treated him with dignity.

People cut each other off on the road in dangerous conditions for no apparent reason than being utterly inconsiderate of the lives and safety of others. They cut into lines, treat servers in stores and restaurants like trash – no wonder it is so difficult to be served politely – when people feel a sense of entitlement and rage at everyone within earshot for no apparent reason.

The arrogance, self-aggrandising and just plain nastiness abounds, and it is inflicted upon anyone close by who have absolutely NO IDEA why they are being targeted. Unfortunately this creates an angry society, where it becomes ‘ every man for himself ‘ . Gestures of generosity must be public not private as well, with the appropriate ‘look at me, I am generous and giving back’ whatever that is supposed to mean, as all they ever do is take.
The number of people they destroy along the way is inconsequential. Ironically, some of those so-called generous people are not giving of their own wealth, but that of others. There are numerous events where the so-called organizers and fame seekers are actually earning as much as 15% of the money they raise, then seeking public acknowledgement of their generosity.
Unknowingly, all the volunteers work for free, pay for their own tickets to the events, and are contributing to the pockets and fame of the person who is gaining the most.

I can not comprehend the level of cruelty that some individuals are bestowing upon others, and the fact that it somehow gives them some sense of power. If the person they have harmed is a total stranger, I fail to understand how they can bask in all this perceived sense of power, when all they did is offend and damage a total stranger for no apparent reason.

Perhaps the concept of humility is missing from their DNA.
How many suicides will it take for parents to discipline their children against bullying?? It is currently at crisis level… Men are teaching their sons to be ‘MEN’ and women are teaching their daughters to be ‘LEADERS’, however this sense of entitlement is being translated into cruelty, as they are not teaching the concept of decency and consideration of others.

Teachers are allowing students to call them by their first names, further eroding their position of authority, so how can they teach them respect for others??

Clerks in shops are being allowed to treat customers with utter disrespect because no one is monitoring their bad behaviour.

We need to go back to basics and teach respect, manners and consideration of others.

Living one’s life with decency and dignity is..

NOT shaming others
NOT being cruel
NOT being a liar
NOT taking amusement from the pain and suffering of others
NOT speaking down or shouting down of others when they voice an opinion
NOT interrupting others

Look around you, how many people do you actually know who are living by these rules??

Do you consider them weak or polite??

Think hard about the answer……..it says a lot about who you are………

Business, Communication, Impressions, Integrity, Quality

Trust me – I’m Honest!!!

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If you have to say it, then it is probably not true…
This BLOG is to describe the epitome of double standards…….and yes, I am saying all the things out loud that are usually whispered……..

Have you ever called a second hand book seller? First words out of their mouths, ‘bring the box to me and leave it, so we can look at it and make a decision’….seriously!?!??
Let me understand, you want me to drop off 100 undocumented books, not be given a receipt, and TRUST you to pay me???
Would you EVER allow me to leave your shop with one unpaid book?? I think not.

In the endless clean out of my offices and house, I have uncovered some of the most unpleasant, dishonest, and condescending shop keepers in the city.
Unfortunately, I know I am not the only one to have experienced this unpleasantness, but I am the one exposing the practice.

The used record & CD shops, book sellers, antique shops, high end Vintage Clothing shops, Vintage jewellery, ….where does it end??!

Local art gallery?? …… horrific.

In that particular case, I was trying to help promote an amazing young artist to exhibit his works. Thankfully the gallerist stood me up and never returned my calls.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

Same gallerist is being pursued by artists who she has not paid, and will neither return their calls nor their works. I am SO THANKFUL she stood me up, as I would feel dreadful having given her this gentleman’s works.

Is there no honour among thieves??!!

From high end Vintage Consignment shops who try to convince unsuspecting consignors to ‘’just drop off your bags of goods so we can inspect them’, then claiming they were never received, to saying that articles were sold for a fraction of their true sale price, to, my absolute favourite, claiming to have given my high end designer clothes to charity. In conversations with innumerable others who unfortunately had the same experience, it emerged that the clothes are labeled, stored in the shop’s basement, only to be put back out for sale months later as belonging to the shop owner. Cute trick.

Problem is, people talk, and we ALL know who you are.

Then, of course, are the high end antique shops. One smooth operator would take his unsuspecting female consignors out for a ‘nice lunch’ gossip endlessly over too numerous glasses of wine, and conveniently never give them a consignment sheet. No proof, no cash.
The number of fleeced consignors escalated to a point so extreme, the dealer in question moved shop a couple of times and subsequently left the city. I must know a dozen of the denizens he fleeced, all far too embarrassed and humiliated to come forward publicly.

One of the female consignors however, did have a receipt, and was not about to allow it, so she actually stalked him, waiting outside his hidden second floor gallery to see when he arrived, then calling to see if he would answer and acknowledge he was there. Each time she confronted him, each time she was not paid. He used soo many excuses it was extraordinary, “I have to pay tax, I have a meeting, someone is waiting for me in the car, I don’t feel well…..”
The last time she went, she was not alone, and told him they would detain him if he did not pay her, and they would call the police.
He finally wrote the check, grudgingly.

Another of the so-called most reputable high end antique dealers came to my house to look at certain articles I was seeking to sell. He offered me LESS than 10 cents on the dollar for period antiques and French Bronzeworks.
He had forgotten that I had been in his shop numerous times and taken photographs of items he had for sale, in many cases, not as good as my possessions. Once again, endless excuses for his transgressions……..”he has to earn a living, he has overhead costs, and on it went..”
I found it truly offensive, particularly after seeing his retail prices and his lack of willingness to negotiate prices. I told him so as I was escorting him to the door, and out he went, complaining vigorously, that he really wanted to purchase all my French Bronze curtain pieces…he truly could NOT comprehend why I unceremoniously threw him out.
I promised him that for every dollar he tried to steal from me, I would make him lose 10, and I assure you I have done precisely that. Anyone who asks me about his shop will be told about his intense greed and lack of ethics.
When one friend was contemplating making a purchase from him, I suggested offering 10 cents on the dollar, given that is what he pays!!! Apparently the negotiations did not go so well!!!

High end Vintage Jewellery??? Same problem.
Visit the shop and be told how exclusive, how valuable, how original, how fabulous the piece is.
Try to sell it?? All of a sudden it is only worth the value of scrap metal.

One friend told me to treat jewellery like shoes. Wear it to death, and do not care if it carries any value.
Great advice!!
Wish I had been given it much earlier……..

Buying is easy, selling the goods that you have been oversold is not.

So, be smart, be wise. Make sure you know who you are dealing with. Do references, then do more.
Make your purchase understanding that you may never be able to resell it.
So Love it, Use it, and pass it on……..

charities, Consideration, Impressions, Integrity

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme….

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The ‘GUILT” season is now upon us with a vengeance.
Our doorbell has rung twice today with people asking for money for some fake charity.

Just over 2 months to Christmas and the onslaught of extended hands is already obscene.

In the space of one week, solicitations for refugees, women’s center’s, the police pension fund, emails, calls, Facebook, in person, at the door, at the cash.
This week yielded close to 20 solicitations, and apparently it is MY OBLIGATION to contribute. Some of the approaches are insultingly condescending, others offensive, the panhandler running after you on the street and screaming insults because you are ‘rich’.

In the past, I worked for more charities than I care to name, and donated to everything from Cancer, Ballet, various Museums, Political Parties, and much, much more.

In stepping back, what strikes me is that no matter how generous you are, it is never enough. And if the endless charities, foundations and institutions didn’t pay themselves such luxurious salaries and perquisites, perhaps we would not be solicited to such an extent, but people are greedy, and enough is never enough.
Unfortunately, problems do not go away. There is always another world crisis, disease, something.

In giving to one, your name is unceremoniously sold to others, without your consent, and you are solicited even more.

But that is not the end of it. …. Now come the solicitations from the so-called friends, and they have also multiplied out of proportion.

Real Estate Agents who send you house listings asking for help, help this person, she is down on her luck, give money for this sick child, give money to send someone’s child on a class trip, give money so I can travel and take photographs for my next book…….WOW….that one was something else…….buy my sheets, photos, books, come to my fundraiser and GIVE, GIVE, GIVE….

The number of panhandlers has multiplied exponentially as there is no legislation to control them, and some of them are truly frightening, coming up to the window of your car when you are stuck in between cars at a red light and pounding on the window….no where to go…..

Grocery stores and other retailers are also soliciting endlessly, for this crisis, school project, school trip, uniforms for the sports team, scouts, cadets, always someone grabbing your groceries to pack them, ALWAYS BADLY, and expecting a donation.
BTW, eggs or bananas do NOT go on the bottom of the bag……and then there is the nagging offer to add a contribution to this week’s charity on your grocery bill directly.

STOP!!!

NO, I am NOT grumpy, I am OFFENDED beyond belief.

If it is just over 2 months to Christmas, and I have been solicited 20, yes, 20, twenty, times this week, it is just the beginning. So , NO MORE, the answer is NO.

I will decide if and when and to whom, should I wish to donate.

The more I am solicited and insulted, the less likely I will every give to anyone. It is NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY.

If you felt it was only you being harassed, think again. It has become ugly.

Ahhhh, that feels wonderful!!

I feel more relaxed already….!!!

Business, Communication, Integrity

Disruption

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The latest excuse for business failure….

…..disruption….everyone is shopping online….

…..we can’t find suitable staff….

……too much competition…..

….we can’t keep abreast of the technology….

Retailers are closing at a terrifying speed, and blaming everything and everyone for their lack of vision.

Senior executives are sitting in their posh corner offices living lavish lives while their shareholders lose their investments.

Whatever happened to ‘managing while walking around’??

Are they only listening to the carefully delivered rhetoric by a few hand picked yes men?? And more importantly, can they be trusted??

Does anyone actually know what their employees are doing ?? Do executives even know who they really ARE any more?? There are so many people working in companies today with hidden agenda’s that having superficial interviews and references are simply not enough. How many times has someone been referred to me only to find out that who they profess to be bears no resemblance to reality?!

Companies are using agencies to do references, and they are only calling the references provided. But REAL, in depth references often bring a stark reality to the true person.

People are inflating their titles, salaries, successes, and more importantly education.
Did you know that there are 800 fake universities out there?? Really.

So, the ‘back door’ reference often tells a very different story.

Doing references is an art form, questions often can be directed in such a way as to elicit extraordinary responses. Using a list of pre-established questions does not leave much to the imagination. Furthermore, depending on exactly how the question is asked, the answers can go from one extreme to the other.

So, making sure you know who you are hiring is important. Getting rid of them is extremely expensive.

I am fascinated by companies offering services to the public, be it banks, grocery stores, fashion stores…etc.
No one appears to understand business 101 any more.
There is no common sense. No thought …no reason.

The person you are rude to, may be the same person your company is pursuing to acquire their business. Take banks for example, if start-ups are the driver of the economy, has anyone considered that having ‘preferred vendor’ lists is removing any chance of them growing, and how detrimental this is??
It hurts the bank’s future business, and the economy as a whole.

The arrogant clerks who think they are saving money for the corporation by limiting the number of suppliers are actually hurting the very same company and the economy as a whole, and they are limiting creativity. If you only deal with the same handful of suppliers, and lock out anyone else, how can you possibly know if someone has a better, more imaginative product??!!

How many times as a business owner have I been pursued for my custom by the very company who has refused to do business with us because we are not ‘big’ enough??
Does big mean better?? From what I have seen, the answer is NO.

Do you really want to pay a 300 – 400% markup on the same independent Consultant as I can give you???
Do you REALLY think that the big firms have all these people just waiting for your call??

Catch 22, or Economics 101, or , utter lack of common sense.

Or the rude clerk in a grocery store or high end retailer insulting the wife of an executive that is being pursued by the same company?? If your wife comes home from shopping and speaks of the disrespect she has suffered, do you think the executive will then give you his business??

Courtesy and business go hand in hand.

Companies today do not appear to invest in training. They speak publicly of their corporate code of ethics, but what is really happening within their walls??

If certain individuals within these companies only do business with companies who give them a kick back, then how can we possibly give any credence to their so-called ‘code of ethics”?? … but is anyone actually checking?? The answer is NO.

If the management team lies, how can they expect the staff to do anything else??

If the Senior Executives receive millions in bonus’, fly on private jets, eat in the most exclusive clubs and restaurants, at some point the individuals actually doing the work and earning pennies in comparison are going to find a way to compensate themselves.
In NO way am I justifying dishonest behaviour, I am simply pointing out fact.

If the cornerstone of growth in the economy is small business, who are the largest creators of new jobs, then doesn’t it make sense to do business with them instead of systematically closing them out??

Over the last couple of weeks, dinner table conversations have repeatedly reverted to the discussion of on-line shopping versus in store.
Most of the people around the table actually enjoy the sport of shopping, yet in every case, due to the extraordinary unpleasantness they experienced with rude or inexperienced staff, or worse, staff who were not knowledgeable, and gave inaccurate information with an attitude, EVERYONE, each time admitted they found themselves shopping online as they had walked out of an unpleasant shop.

SO, is the problem actually technology based? ie, disruption, or is it human?

Certainly from my own experiences, it has been 100% human.
If I have walked into your store with cash in hand on 5 separate occasions and your staff has been unwelcoming or unpleasant, and I absolutely KNOW my size, why on earth would you think I will return??
If I can make a purchase on line, often for a reduced price, which will be delivered to my door by a delightful man……why should I come back to your store?
Why should I give you my cash?
Why on earth should I recommend you??

There are certain shops in Westmount, in London, I go out of my way to visit…why??

  • Extraordinary Service
  • Knowing I am appreciated
  • Because I am greeted with a hug and a smile, and always leave smiling
  • And YES, I am absolutely prepared to pay more to shop there if necessary.

How do people feel about YOUR business? …. Are they welcomed or humiliated??

Time to go back to mystery shoppers, time to go back to ‘managing by walking around’ , time to go back to the time where clients and suppliers were treated with respect, not as commodities, time to make sure your employees are not running their own fiefdoms within your walls, time to make sure that executives are actually doing what they are being paid to do, time to ensure that plans are in place to ensure your long term survival.