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Business, Consideration, Impressions, Integrity, Listening, Quality, Relationships, Social Networking, Socialites

Musings and Observations of Seriously BAD Behaviour

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Bringing a seriously cheap bottle of wine to an event in someone’s home, digging in their closed cupboards to retrieve a fine vintage wine, slinking into a corner, opening the bottle and consuming it by yourself.

Yes, you did see this posted recently in the BLOG entitled ‘On being Selfish’, however, the outpouring of people calling and writing about this issue was extraordinary. Some of your examples absolutely hysterical, but at the same time, so very sad, as so many people are treating their hosts in such a greedy and callous manner.

You are absolutely welcome to share this BLOG, with the hopes that maybe one person recognizes their disgusting behaviour and changes it.

Arriving at the home of an extremely generous hostess empty handed, grazing your way through the most expensive food and drink, then having the audacity to ask the servers to prepare a plate for you to bring home.

Sneaking food home from a cocktail party. I have seen people filling endless napkins with huge Tiger Shrimp and other delectables, one rude wag actually would go into a corner and slip food into a large baggie, then go back for more. This event was NOT billed as TAKE OUT, it was in a private home, nor was it a fundraiser where the guests were expected to pay for a ticket.

Being invited to dinner then spending the entire evening texting on your phone, and not participating. If you didn’t want to come, next time, stay home.

Imposing your children on others They are simply NOT that cute or that special, and we do NOT want to hear about them or see their pictures.

Going to any Birthday Party empty handed, even if someone is hosting it for you.

Going to a Cocktail, Dinner , or Anniversary party empty handed.

Not sending a Thank You note. (see above)

Not sending flowers, or a gift to the hostess. (see above)

Aggressively asking someone for their assistance, then abruptly telling them that they are no longer required, as you have found another solution.

Telling everyone over a period of several months about your impending nuptials, claiming it will be ‘high society’, ( if YOU have to say it, then clearly it is NOT….) cheating with everything that walks on your soon to be wife, bragging endlessly to your male friends about your conquests, …some of whom told some of us…….

Sending invitations to your wedding to only some of the people to which you have been ranting endlessly over the past few months, filling the church with the guests who arrived all dressed up for this ‘fabulous’ occasion, having first sent expensive gifts to the home of the couple…..After the ceremony, the couple walked down the aisle, got into a few cars, including a couple of Rolls Royces driven by friends, and driving off into the sunset.
The guests naively thinking the wedding party was simply going to take pictures, found themselves standing around the church until they were rudely ushered out, and the church door loudly locked behind them.
Well over 100 people found themselves asking just WHAT exactly had happened, unfed, left behind, and utterly horrified. After a whle, some just wandered off, others went to a couple of restaurants for dinner, in complete and utter horror.

The wedding party, meanwhile, went to a private club for a very small, intimate dinner.

To say that my phone rang for weeks over this one, is an understatement.
NO ONE, let me repeat, NO ONE, had ever heard of, much less experienced anything as classless as this before, nor since.

Insisting on wearing your boots, shoes or whatever else footwear into a shoe free home. If you are told repeatedly NOT to wear shoes in the house, that is NOT an invitation to bring slippers or other footwear. NO shoes means NO shoes. It is the height of bad manners. If wearing your filthy footwear is more important than respecting the wishes of the hostess, please do us all a favour, and STAY home.

Going into a shop, having a shop clerk running around finding things for you to try on for over an hour, then leaving everything in a heap on the floor as if it was trash, and walking out without as much as a Thank You, or, making a purchase. That person is on commission, you just treated them worse than your personal servant, you stole an hour of their time for which they were not compensated, and worse, all the garments now look used and must be tidied and hung up.

Going to a soiree in a high end fashion store, drinking copious quantities of alcohol, eating everything in sight, taking endless selfies with both expensive merchandise and guests who are utterly unaware they are being photographed, and not purchasing a thing.
YES….they DID see you, and YES, they are talking about it…….guess how I found out about it!!!!!

Telling someone , “ we MUST do lunch repeatedly, I miss you SO MUCH….” Then never calling……

Walking up to a celebrity at a Fund Raiser, interrupting them, foisting your business card into their hand, and loudly exclaiming so that half the room hear you speaking…….”I would LOVE to get together with you for lunch……You MUST call me…….”…..pretending to be their best friend, when they DO NOT HAVE the SLIGHTEST CLUE who you are, nor, are they remotely interested in finding out. Their horrified facial expression just told it all……and YES, we saw it all……..

Turning upn at a fancy ball in a low cut, flouncy chiffon dress and carrying on like you are the Belle of the Ball. PLEASE take a serious look at yourself in the mirror. PLEASE repeat. …. Maybe, once more, just to be sure……

You are NOT a 16 year old, 100 pound anorexic model, nor are you a rock star. Exposing it ALL is just plain VULGAR.

Going to the aforementioned Ball, walking up to total strangers, interrupting their conversation mid sentence, and ingratiating yourself into their group. They do NOT know who you are, and after your incredibly rude pushy behaviour, have no interest whatsoever in finding out who you are.

Paying a PR to organize a reception in your Store – Art Gallery…..then spending the evening fussing over the shiny new faces you have never seen before and totally ignoring those individuals who have been paying your bills for years….. You DO realize that we have an abundance of choices of where to shop, do you not???

Fussing over the pretentious millenial who has 10 handbags spread all over the counter which she is photographing, and totally ignoring the quiet discreet individual who is actually dressed in high end designer clothes…..if someone is wearing a huge diamond ring, a large Vuitton purse, Hermes shoes, scarf and belt, they can probably afford to buy something else……..do you REALLY think the 20 year old has the cash?? Attitude is NOT cash.

Posting rude, beligerent comments on the Facebook pages of strangers just because you do not agree with them. You DO realize that you can be found, do you not???

…..and then there are the Drama Queens……..why is it that some people just will NOT stop posting and carrying on endlessly whenever there is some incident in their lives?? Are we supposed to run to your side to support you in your milisecond of need?? Give you money?? Take you out for dinner to console you??? Pity you??? … For a few, the feelings towards them has now run to utter disgust. Reposting endlessly on the anniversary of your mother’s death, her birthday, your dead friend, sending emails and sharing them with your friends to share so that your ‘sorrow’ is amplified a thousand times?? Stressing how we MUST all get together to support poor, sad you??

Seriously???!!!

What about the rest of us ??? We have ALL experienced loss, some of us have lived through absolutely horrific life events, yet, nary a call.
But then, we were elegant, quiet, discreet. We did not tell anyone, We did not post and repost and amplify, tweet or whine.

Walking into a grocery store with large reusable bags, filling them in the trolley, then arriving at the cash and paying for just a few items.
This new, absolutely INSANE trend of forcing us to bring our own bags in order to shop has generated a level of theft which has exploded.
People, we are ALL PAYING for this.
Some of us have brought it to the attention of store managers, but it is now so extreme that it is an epidemic. PLEASE do something …the cost of YOUR groceries will double if you do not.

Making a big deal about inviting someone to lunch to celebrate their birthday. Ordering cocktails and endless dishes that ‘you MUST try,” making absolutely sure that EVERYONE in the restaurant hears and sees you carrying on, then sticking the birthday boy with the total bill for several hundred dollars, who, just to be totally clear, ordered ONE plate of food and NO alcohol.

Truly, real life is more outrageous than make believe………

Business, Communication, Consideration, Impressions, Listening

WORDS MATTER!

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I want to thank the people who contribute directly and indirectly to this BLOG. There are a great many people out there scratching their heads at the behaviour they witness and experience at the hands of others, with the knowledge that whatever they say will not be attributed, hence they are free to varbalise knowing there will not be any adverse reprecussions.

Sometimes words drop out of the mouths of otherwise intelligent people leaving one to question if they have any concept whatsoever of just how seriously offensive they were…

Being told …..I’m too busy to talk to you right now, I am eating my lunch
Really…….will it go somewhere if you do not eat it this very second???

I need to go and sell to this important client, only to learn that they have never met this person before, and who purchases absolutely NOTHING. Furthermore, based upon their dress and comportement, it is unlikely they ever will……..

I am waiting for an important client, so you will have to leave……only to learn that the ‘important’ client never turned up.

I have to put this merchandise away right now, you will have to wait.
SOOO, the merchandise is more important than a potential customer??? Is it going to make a purchase???!!!

I am on the phone (with a friend judging by the utter drivel coming out of your mouth) …you will just have to wait……

Send me an email, I am too busy to talk to you right now…..
OK, but we are already ON THE PHONE, why not spend the additional minute and have the discussion???!!

Send me an email and tell me why you want to speak with me. …..REALLY???

Do you know who I am??!! (Why is it people who are SOOO arrogant as to ask this question are always the least important) ??!!

SOO, just a few thoughts……

If you repeatedly tell people they are NOT important clients, they never will become one.

If you claim to always be too important or too busy, at some point people WILL stop calling you and give you all the free time in the world.

Business, Communication, Consideration

What ever happending to manners??

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YES, I am absolutely ranting about this subject again, hence, ROSLYNSRANTS.COM.

As a tall, blond, well dressed woman, with a handbag in my hand, and a coat on my back,  do I actually look like a doorman to you??  Do you have ANY idea how many times I have held open the door for the person directly behind me and had 10 rude people push their way through, NONE of whom had the good manners to either acknowledge me in any way or better,  say Thank You??

Yes, I was brought up in an extremely strict British household, NO, it was not fun. As a child I was forced to learn how to use ALL the cutlery on the table, elbows off the table, sit still, do not speak until you are spoken to, sit still for hours,  no carrying on, …. it was excruciating, but I recognize it as one of the greatest gifts as an adult. I learned to behave.

Grace, elegance, eloquence, manners, consideration for those around us, regardless of social position, seem to be something of the past, the way most people hold their cutlery and eat today is absolutely repugnant. At least 50% of the population do not know how to use a knife and fork, how to use a napkin, NOT to blow your nose at the table, and even worse, put the used tissue on the table…….

And then there are other little things…such as putting one’s pinky in the air when drinking tea……..seriously??   soooo pretentious…….

Spearing food and chewing loudly, mouth open, and talking so that we see all the half chewed food spraying about…..UGH…UGH….UGH!!

Watching white people in a Chinese or Japanese restaurant is even worse…….they are loud, snapping their fingers at the staff as if they are their personal servants, with absolutely NO idea as to Asian etiquette…….and NO, I DO NOT care if you are white, try and be respectful of your environment.  Etiquette is etiquette.  …  KEEP YOUR HANDS OUT OF THE FOOD….it is considered the height of bad manners…….

What happened to helping someone with a heavy bag??

Helping someone to cross an icy sidewalk??

Given that I am a woman, why is it that I am the only one extending an outstretched hand to someone trying to cross an icy sidewalk??  Opening doors???  Waiting politely in line for my turn, not bursting into the line, expressing my  perceived importance in a loud, arrogant voice……..??

What happened to integrity? Decency??   Manners??  Consideration of others?? NO ONE is in such a hurry that taking 2 seconds to be courteous is an imposition. If all these so-called busy people were actually remotely busy,  other than their  make believe importance,  they would not have the time to binge watch TV. Yes, when you speak so loudly on your mobile phone we know that you spent 5 hours watching TV last night……

I have an acquaintance, certainly no longer a friend in any stretch of the imagination, who is embarrassing and disgraceful. Always ranting on about aging gracefully, then always sticking everyone with the bill, and expecting to be driven around without EVER contributing to gas or parking.

Another one invited my significant other out to a restaurant for his birthday, ordered drinks, no, we did not imbibe, insisted we try several items on the menu, carried on with the waiters like he was a big shot, then stuck us with the bill, AGAIN.

No one seems to understand old fashioned ideas like Birthday cards,  Sympathy Cards, sending flowers, Thank you notes, responding to RRVP’s on time, yet ironically, these are the same individuals grasping desperately for the wonderful invitations to posh parties and cocktails……..they almost think their presence is so magical that manners are of no consequence. Bringing a gift to an afternoon tea, dinner party, cocktail party, birthday party, also appears to be a lost art. ….   And actually considering the taste of the host , well, that would be too much to ask.  Did it EVER enter the minds of these rude, rude individuals that entertaining is not cheap or easy??   All the alcohol, and food you consume costs money and must be prepared. There is prep work before, during and after any social gathering. If it is held in someone’s home, they probably cleaned it within an inch of its life before you arrived, and will do the same thing afterwards. I have been to extraordinary parties all over the world, some with an insane number of staff ……do you think they are FREE????

The  very least you can do is BRING or SEND a GIFT.  Arriving consistently empty handed is not only rude, it is extremely disrespectful. 

On line rudeness is a new phenomenon,  social media such as Facebook is full of hateful, mean individuals posting cruel hurtful snippets in response to the posts of utter strangers. Does it give the some perverse sense of power to inflict such cruelty??  Do they not realize just how easy it is to find out who they are and where they live???

Today, with the rise in violence around the world, WORDS KILL.

Then, of course, there are the shop keepers who see someone enter their shop and say loudly, “ I see an important client, you will have to go…..” you are totally correct, the person in front of you will NEVER become an important client, you just totally offended them, it is soooo easy to go elsewhere…..

The purpose of manners is to treat others as you wish to be treated……..how simple is that??

Business

Total Lack of Judgement

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By noon on any given day, I may have conversed with 6 Company Presidents & Vice Presidents, a Judge and a Doctor. The basis for such an address book and the fact that these individuals always take my call is courtesy. People speak with those who make them feel appreciated, laughter also figures largely into that equation.

This week was an endless one ripe with stories of rude female millenials in the IT industry…..

I was actually screamed at over punctuation!!! Those 3 preceeding exclamation marks were the culprits!!

I constantly pepper my writing with exclamation marks and question marks, often interspersed; to add humour, questions, and often disbelief. Admittedly, this individual behaving like a petulant 12 year old over my punctuation was a first.

In the space of a week, this rude snowflake booked a telephone appointment then stood me up, sent me an email interrogating me questioning my relationship with the President of the company where she is employed, then totally lost it over punctuation…..what boggles the mind is that she is actually employed and being paid money for this behaviour.

In a previous BLOG I suggested that having an unknown female call your company to ascertain how callers are treated would be an excellent idea, this incident is the perfect example of that need. This young woman would not dream of ever speaking to a man like that, so what would possess her to think she has the right to verbally assault a woman??

The next day, I was meeting a friend for breakfast downtown in a trendy restaurant. I asked my girlfriend, as well as our 3 lovely millenial waitresses just exactly what 3 exclamation marks in an email mean to them. The responses follow….

   Excitement
   Playfullness
     Anticipation
     Extreme Interest.

What is telling, is these responses perfectly explain my usage. So how is it that I was accused of being rude and aggressive by the use of punctuation??? NO ONE understood.

The mere idea that this young woman allowed herself the right to shriek at another woman puts her judgement seriously at risk. How many other people has she insulted??

A client had another story. He is the CIO. He hired a young woman as a programmer. On paper she appeared to be qualified, educated and have the appropriate experience. Miraculously she passed the interview process and was hired. One week into her employment however, everything changed. She announced that the work hours were far too demanding of her personal time and that she would like to work from home due to the inconvenience of commuting. Her constant complaints worked their way up the organization culminating in the CIO meeting with her to hear her grievances. He was shocked, but listened quietly and explained that perhaps she should learn the technical and business environment as well as the business before making such demands, and suggested she work on integrating herself into the environment. It was not to be. Slightly over one month later she was terminated. Her endless complaints over her salary, working conditions and title were endless, but unfortunately she was also extremely disruptive.
One has to question both her resume and her intentions.

People need to work, some more than others.

There must be sunshine, joy and laughter in any business relationship, as well as fairness.

How can one possibly trust the judgement of someone who is so thin skinned that they are offended by punctuation???!!

Business

Living in a World of Make Believe

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“if he said it, then it must be true….”

“if it is on-line, it must be true….”

”if it is on a resume, it must be true….”

“ if it is printed, it must be true….”

But it is NOT.

It is ALL make believe.

Facebook recently deleted over 1.3 MILLION fake accounts, and they admitted publicly that they have just scratched the surface.

The Leader of the free world has been fact checked, and is currently at approximately 7000 documented lies. Yes, 7000. Documented. Filmed.
He has a seriously loose relationship with the truth.

There are endless fake handbags wandering around on the arms of pretentious women. Go shopping, see them flashing their handbags, carrying them in a showy pretentious fashion so the world can see them, but they are obviously FAKE. A serious copyright infringement. But why would you want to flaunt something so clearly fake??

Endless photographs of make believe fabulous lives which are constructed and curated for maximum impact. If it is photographed, it must be true…….NOT.

Huge advertisements of outstanding achievements in magazines and newspapers, carefully placed and paid for by the actual individual promoting themselves, from real estate agents to start up companies to socialites, …advertising WORKS……. People naively believe the printed word.

Business executives, socialites, corporations pay millions to PR firms to promote them and their services and expound on their fabulousness and awesome success…..the best defense is a good offence…….

Resumes of individuals proclaiming their extraordinary careers and titles. How does someone graduate and become the Director of a company with NO previous work experience?? Or go from junior programmer to Vice President within a couple of years?? One financial institution actually gives programmers the title of Vice President once they have a couple of years of experience. Flattery works, much easier than a pay raise. Many in the industry laugh at them strutting around handing out their business cards, and refer to them as “ Vice Programmer….” Of course, their salaries are the obvious tell tale….$70,000 annually does not a Vice President make in the Financial industry……
Unfortunately, this practice takes away from the credibility of others who have MBA’s and over 25 years of actual work experience who have sacrificed their time and lives to reach that pinnacle of their careers…..

There are people who are fired repeatedly for fraud, drunkenness, laziness, or their total inability to work with others, and cover it up by proclaiming they are the President of a Consulting Company and these short stops were only short term mandates.
Several individuals lost their positions after being caught in a serious fraud within a bank. See the resumes on Linkedin of these individuals who could not find work for months, and see a fascinating picture emerge. One changed their name, a couple of others re-invented themselves as “Consultants” to cover the huge amount of time missing on their resumes. The problem with this, is that they are ALL currently employed within other financial institutions, as NO ONE DID PROPER REFERENCES on them.

Some other terrifying examples of this include a well known hacker who is known to brag repeatedly about all the confidential information he has amassed on his previous employers, from social insurance numbers, medicare numbers, addresses, birth dates, direct deposit information and more. In their rush to join the ranks of large consulting firms offering cybersecurity services, he was hired as Partner. He consults to big banks and is charged out at astronomical hourly rates as an expert. Did anyone actually speak to ANY of his former co-workers?? I certainly did. Several of them in fact. This man is absolutely terrifying.
He is currently at a high point in his career, what happens to all the information he has amassed when he crashes??

Then there are the Senior Executives of large publicly traded corporations who are always present on the Social and Business scene, giving huge donations in order to promote their image and that of their firms. If someone gives to charity, they must be a good person……..NOT necessarily, they are building a PUBLIC image, and IT IS NOT THEIR MONEY.

I have spoken of this before, but it is appropriate to include in this BLOG.
A couple of years ago, a client rang me up to inquire about a Senior Consultant currently on assignment in his company. He had SERIOUS doubts about the competence of this person, and wondered if I knew of him. I had NEVER heard of this individual, which was surprising, as we have done a lot of work in that particular sector of the IT industry. As the client is someone I like and respect, I got to work investigating this person. The more I dug, the less I knew. One thing which was clear, he had one of the most brilliant, most elegantly constructed web sites I have ever seen. Upon further investigation, using Google maps, I ascertained that this huge enterprise he was managing had only one employee, that being him, and the address was his basement.
Several calls to those in the know, NO ONE, let me repeat, NO ONE had ever heard of him, and his certification claims were utterly bogus.
Back to the Linkedin resume and more surfing.
His University degrees also turned out to be fake.

SO, he was billing at $180 per hour. He was a liar, incompetent, a total fraud. That is not a huge amount of money in the scheme of a corporate IT budget, but what if there are 10 of them in the department??
He was terminated. His linkedin resume and his beautiful website disappeared. He has probably changed the letters in his name slightly in order to move on to another unsuspecting victim.

Another individual was fired and imprisoned for dealing hard drugs. His on line resume does not show ANY blanks in time. According to his resume, he was always employed. How could a large corporation have possibly back ground checked him in order employ this individual in Security and Infrastructure ?? Clearly they did not.
Unfortunately, a number of large corporations outsource the resume checking service to third parties, who do minor checking for large fees…….the best references are NOT the ones the individual had provided, usually people who were co-workers and have nothing to gain or lose……

Remember Bernie Madoff???? Uber connected socially, well respected, gave to charity… NOTHING was real. I know several individuals in Palm Beach who unfortunately invested with him and LOST it ALL. …..NO ONE could believe he was such a fraud, he was so charming……

Companies regularly sell services to unsuspecting clients because they WANT to believe the charming salesman. He is charming, entertains them with endless anecdotes, serves them fine wines and brings them to locales they could only dream about….flattered and told how important they are, they readily sign on the dotted line for services which bear no resemblance to their actual needs. Time elapses, deadlines are not met, costs escalate, the product does not meet their demands, and once again, they are taken to yet another even more fabulous event to help them forget the millions they have spent on nothing.

It is human nature to want to be liked, flattered, entertained, to be part of the ‘in crowd”, to want to be associated with those in power, those they consider the “ BEST in BREED”…
Until they are NOT.

Have you done YOUR homework???

Business, Consideration

Whatever happened to?

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Whatever happened to……

… thanking your friends for being there for you

… being discreet about your bedroom proclivities

… not belching, farting, sneezing, coughing loudly in front of others

… saying please and thank you

… managing by walking around

… doing proper, detailed references when hiring

… paying your suppliers

… paying back the endless loans you took from friends

… teaching and speaking the truth

… honesty

… not having your hand out at others you believe more successful than yourself

… keeping your word

… being considerate of others

… not cyberbullying strangers you disagree with

… not expecting others to pay for your latest feel good vanity charity

… not driving on black ice like a maniac and risking the lives of everyone around you

… not pontificating on how you wish to be perceived as elegant then stiffing all your friends on restaurant and taxi charges

… not spreading cruel rumours about those of whom you are actually seriously jealous

… behaving like you are an expert about everything, you are NOT

… not bragging endlessly about your latest trip

… not showing everyone endless photographs of your children or grandchildren

… not screaming down others when they try to speak

… not taking the credit for the work done by others

… acknowledging the kindness of others

… stepping in to stop bullying

… actually holding the door open for the person behind you

… saying THANK YOU to the person who held the door open for you

… saying thank you to your clients

… not cutting or cleaning your nails in public

… not picking your teeth at the table

… not shoving your latest dietary obsession down everyone’s throats

… not insisting you know best about which car one requires

… not answering emails

… not answering telephone calls

SAYING PLEASE and THANK YOU

Business

More Telephone Insanity……

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While Senior Executives go to meet with one another at exquisite restaurants for lunch, or on the golf course, no one is apparently left behind to manage the zoo.

There are endless books written on Management Style, and one wonders if any of the current batch of Senior Executives has actually read any of them. MBA schools are pumping out graduates who can read a Financial Statement and strategize on business approaches, many analyzing the past failures of companies which have met their demise, but the most important facet of good management is good people skills, and what used to be known as “ Managing by Walking Around” , or, “Leading by Example”.
Do any Senior Executives actually know who is working for them any more other than a handful of their closest minions??

Speak with Senior Individuals in many Fortune 500 Corporations, and learn that there is little if any interaction between the Senior Executives and lower level employees. This is utter insanity as they are actually the ones who truly know what is happening in the trenches, and are best positioned to make recommendations to improve problems.

How many Senior Executives have taken the time to call their OWN Company’s switchboard from an outside, anonymous phone, and try to navigate it without identifying themselves?? If they actually tried, they would be horrified at the way their staff speak to potential or existing clients. Increasingly, companies are dispensing totally with receptionists and decided that they no longer require humans to answer the phone, that voice response systems are the answer to everything.
Then, just to really prove the point, have their WIFE call from an outside, anonymous phone, NOT identify herself, and see if she can navigate the system, and just how rudely she is treated. NO, if there are actually are human receptionists, they DO NOT treat women as politely as men. We have tried the exercise repeatedly, a man is flirted with and usually passed through, a woman is rudely interrogated.

So, what happens if an outsider tries to call one of these companies about an emergency situation and does not know anyone in the company or have a direct phone number for someone?? They will be bounced around a voice response system, and ultimately the system will hang up on them as it is incapable of making a decision.

We recently called numerous pool companies, as our swimming pool is in need of maintenance. Sound easy?? Apparently not.
Several companies had employees answer the phone, only to bounce the call from one to the other, with NO ONE willing to actually take any responsibility to take down the information and provide a quotation.
Several hours later, only ONE company politely responded and provided a quote. NO ONE, let me reiterate, NO ONE at the other companies even knows that a potential client called. The staff were totally belligerent and utterly disinterested.

From leaving messages on voice mail systems which are never returned, to receptionists who interrogate callers as to the reason for their call, to administrative assistants who behave like jealous wives, it is absolutely extraordinary that some of these corporations actually stay in business.

Some so called ‘Service’ companies no longer list their switchboard number for fear of people calling their Senior Executives to lodge complaints. If there are SO MANY complaints, perhaps some thought might be directed at actually FIXING THE PROBLEM…..and not hiding behind closed doors and anonymous phone numbers.

I speak with people constantly who have the same complaints. In many cases, they simply bring their business elsewhere. From changing banks to airlines to technology providers, if you can’t reach a polite individual who is actually willing to take the time to have a conversation, why would you continue to pay them money??

We have reached a level or telephone rudeness and insanity which boggles the mind.

Business, Communication, Consideration, Impressions, Integrity, Social Networking

Views on Aging

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Life comes with an automatic death sentence. No matter how rich or famous, successful or not, death is an absolute. Life is to be lived and embraced. It is an opportunity to live, travel, taste, see, and experience all the amazing sights in this world, to meet extraordinary people in extraordinary places. I have been extremely fortunate in my life, and have met some unbelievably incredible people from every part of the globe. How you view life and appreciate the time you have goes very much along the lines of whether the glass is half full or half empty.

In both my Professional and Personal life, I meet an inordinate number of people from every corner of the globe, and love the fact that everyone has stories to share. It is an amazing way to learn. Similarly, I am absolutely mesmerized at meeting individuals in their 20’s who are obsessing about their retirement, and have not considered the option of living their lives on a daily basis, at the same time as meeting others who embrace life in the fullest, and will not stop moving forward. From the 80 year old who decided and succeeded in becoming an artist, and has had a couple of solo exhibits in art galleries, travels extensively, including a jaunt to Hong Kong to meet up with an old friend.
How do you have an intelligent conversation with a 20 something who refuses to learn another language, has been nowhere, done nothing with their life, has no hobbies to speak of, no accomplishments, no enthusiasm, no curiosity, and tells you that once they retire they might actually consider doing something?? With that TOTAL lack of drive, it is questionable whether they will actually survive long enough to retire, being old and boring at 20.

Some people are born whiners, others develop into whiners to elicit attention, every little incident intensified as though it was a major crisis of epic proportions, yet others experience horrific experiences in their lives and quietly, stoically, push on silently.

Since last fall, I have once again had to face my friends dying monthly, some months, more than one. Some young, some old. It is very difficult to say goodbye to so many people. But at the same time, I consider myself to be extremely fortunate to have known them and shared some small part of their lives. Some funerals, like people, are dismal and depressing, others joyful, a celebration of a life well lived. What is it that defines your view on living?? Are you joyous? Engaging? Entertaining? …or one of those people, who, as in some of the cartoon characters, are walking through life with a gray cloud over your head.
What is it about some people who are such whiners, negative, depressing, demanding, exhausting, who experience no joy, yet they have faced no hardships, when others who have lived through so much worse endure silently.

Facebook and social media present an incredible window on social behaviour. I am truly blown away by some of the things posted by certain individuals, and the depths to which they will sink to garner attention. There are so many toxic people bringing darkness instead of joy. I prefer to purge the darkness and embrace the light, if that means fewer friends, but joyful friends who bring laughter, then I am more than prepared to live with that. I would rather live with laughter and joy than darkness. It is sunny outside, I will go soak up the sunshine alone, breathe in its heat and joy, and banish those to darkness, and celebrate my extraordinary luck in having shared my life with extraordinary people, many gone too soon.

Business, Communication, Security

Digital Reality

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I have previously posted a BLOG entitled – Social Media Rethink – April 2018 (http://www.roslynsrants.com/?p=398)

This takes the comments from that BLOG further, as, once again, during a face to face interview, I was, albeit, very politely asked why our company does not have a Digital Presence, the candidate and several of his friends had a conversation about the veracity of our existence, given our absence of any kind of Digital Presence.

It is fascinating that today with the explosion of online everything, that no can actually step back, THINK, and consider that, if KNOWING that over 50% of what we see online is FAKE, why we would question someone who does not wish to be present. From over 60% of Linkedin Resumes being fake, over 800 fake online University Degrees ( see CBC Marketplace Report) an extremely high percentage of Facebook postings being fake, FAKE NEWS, much from Russia, which severly influenced the 2016 US Presidential Election, Millenials posting selfies in the entryway to high end stores, posh restaurants, going into high end boutiques and posing with the merchandise just long enough to take a selfie….

We see companies with spectacular web sites, proclaiming their vast international experience, only to dig and find out it is one man in his basement who has been fired from absolutely every position he has ever held. His Social Presence however, is extraordinary. His web site was magic.

We see companies proclaiming their incredible technical experience, in one case, I actually printed the Linkedin resumes of the entire company (ten people)…..then laid them out on a table, side by side…there was something bothering me……they were ALL IDENTICAL…….including the President. Furthermore, no one was over 30 years old. But on the Corporate Web Site, they spoke of their huge list of clients, turns out it was the previous employers of the employees……NOTHING was real. One questions the fact that NO ONE else ever did even a minor amount of research on them, yet one of my previous clients actually hired them. No, they could not deliveer. But they did pay their invoices……Seriously??!!

Virtually EVERY individual who has questioned our lack of Digital Presence has been an employee within a large corporation, and non have ever owned a company, or considered why one would not wish to be all over the web.

As a long time female business owner, let me describe the horrors of a DIGITAL Presence.

We work in a very defined, very technical segment of the industry. We do HIGH end Information Technology Consulting and Search, and only work with individuals with experience, a high level of education, and in many cases, Security Clearance. Our business was built on WORD of MOUTH. Why could we possibly be interested in receiving over 100 resumes from some low level computer institute pushing out low level computer repair men?? We are NOT.
But we used to receive them en masse, and had to respond, politely.
We are not interested in Plumbers, Cegep Graduates with no experience, people who have held 10 jobs in 3 years……..computer technicians, repair men……..
And then there are the people who would arrive at the door, pound and kick at the door of our offices, and absolutely terrify our Secretary.
Shall I continue??

People who call on the telephone, are aggressive, rude, insulting, and insist that the female on the other end of the phone line, give them what they are requesting, whether it is an interview, the name and direct phone number of the executives…it is endless……

But when someone is desperate for a job, all sense of decency and courtesy seems to fly out the door…….

Endless solicitations by email, mail, and telephone by aggressive, often condescending sales people, most of whom do not have the good manners to even inquire whether it is a good time before pushing themselves and whatever product they have decided we require. They overtalk and are extremely beligerent to the female on the other end of the line, never for a moment presuming that the woman they are being rude to is actually the President and decision maker.

I can continue endlessly, as our experiences have been far from pleasant.

One mind numbingly rude salesman called 10 times, insisting on being given the name and mobile number of the President. I politely inquired as to how I could help him. He screamed insults at me and hung up repeatedly, only to call back and once again hear my voice on the end of the line. He rudely told me I should provide the information and not question him. I repeatedly asked politely as to how I could help him. He repeatedly insulted me and hung up.
Finally, I asked a male associate to watch for the number on call display, and to answer his next call. I requested that he demand the caller’s name, company, and phone number. He Did. Then he passed the caller to me. I recorded the call. When he was speaking to the male, he was polite, calm and provided his information with no objections. He was then put on hold and referred to me. Yup, President and Founder of Copeland, St James…..No sooner than I said hello and he started insulting me once again. At this point, I used his name, and advised him that he was insulting the President, NOT the Receptionist. I advised him that my next call would be to his employer at which time I would play the recording of this beligerent person and tell them, that under no conditions whatsoever, were they to ever call our company again. Yes, I did exactly that. No, he never called again.
The problem with this, is that he disrupted our business day, he disrupted several people, and this time was NOT spent on running our business.

Our Company was bombarded by phone, email, mail, and people coming to the door. NON of them ever took the time to consider who they were soliciting and whether or not we could possibly be interested in their services or products.
We were solicited by low level personnel agencies, companies selling paper products, life insurance, financial planning, light bulbs, travel services, accounting services, payroll services, web development companies, hardware repair men, the list was endless. ALL of which took away our time from actually providing services to OUR clients.

Time is MONEY.
Being polite to rude people takes time and money.
Being polite and responding to 500 people who have sent unsolicited resumes takes time and money.
Answering the door and trying to explain to the hardware repair man, the plumber , the accounting clerk, that we are not interested in their services takes time and money.
Having to call the Doorman to come and physically remove the rude person kicking and pounding on our front door not only creates extreme anxiety, but also costs time and money , not to mention endless tips to the poor Doorman who were, at times, threatened by these unwanted visitors.

For all these reasons, and many more, we DO NOT have a Digital Presence.

Business, Job Hunting, Quality

A Crisis of Early Retirements Unfolding…..

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Over the last 5 years there has been a silent crisis emerging which is going to seriously effect the future of the High-End IT Community.

Companies are increasingly driven by quarter end results, and many senior executives rarely stay in their seats long enough to consider 2 year plans, much less 5 year plans, so if they have no plans for the future of the companies they are managing, how can their employees possibly envision a future within these same corporations?

Add fuel to this fire with a tendency to do layoffs after 2 bad quarters, and a frightening trend emerges. Furthermore, companies have given an insane amount of power to Human Resources over the last few years, and are allowing twenty-somethings the authority to decide with whom the company does business and who they hire through selective choices. Several Senior Sales Executives have not only resigned, but totally left the industry after being told by some 24 year old with absolutely NO knowledge of the industry and its vagaries, that they are not authorized to use 3rd parties for hiring.

One of my favourite clients comes to mind. A $50 million sales quota, and the inability to source suitable sales resources to fill the numerous positions in Sales and Systems Engineering. An inordinate amount of time spent interviewing totally incompetent candidates sourced by HR in the US, met with numerous requests to use local Search Firms being denied. Montreal is a unique market with 2 languages and 2 cultures. It is impossible for someone in the US to possibly understand this issue. The end result?? One of the most professional, successful Sales Executives I have ever met, took early retirement. He QUIT. PERIOD.

He no longer works. PERIOD.

He felt the stress was overwhelming based upon the demands of the job and his utter lack of support within the Corporation. We are talking about a huge, multi-billion dollar corporation which could seriously afford to use outside assistance, but he was NOT ALLOWED.

Today, he skiis, rides his bike, tends his garden. He sold everything in the city and left.
He retired over 10 years earlier than planned.
This man is seriously connected internationally, the Presidents of many Fortune 100 companies would gladly take his call. He is a joy. He is one of the most motivating executives I have met and worked with. Humble, an extraordinary energy coupled with a sense of humour, and the willingness to take a chance on imagination and drive. He has made the careers of dozens of individuals.
We have LOST him. He is no longer working within our industry.

He alone creates an enormous vacuum in our community, and unfortunately is but one of the dozens of these highly creative, highly connected individuals who have taken their contacts and their imaginations and walked away from an industry which is increasingly having problems sourcing these types of individuals.

It has become a thankless, ruthless industry, dominated by arrogant, incompetent, dishonest people who only seek to line their own pockets with a total regard for the companies which employ them, as well as their employees.

I spoke with another Senior Sales Executive who retired 2 months ago, his comment was that he was downsizing his home and his life to accommodate a very early, unplanned retirement, around 10 years earlier than planned. Why, I asked??

His answer, the level of fraud in the industry has become so commonplace that middle managers are asking out loud what you will give them in exchange for their business.. It is ‘In your face” , blatant fraud. It is not hidden, not discreet, it is simply out there for the world to see.

We hear of individuals in purchasing departments in the IT industry choosing ‘preferred vendors’ based upon what they will receive as compensation. No compensation, no business.

A lovely gentleman I interviewed a couple of years ago, was a Senior VP in a large Consulting Firm, earning a very substantial income. I inquired as to why he was so actively seeking employment, he was certainly employed. He advised me that he was resigning the day he received his commission cheque for the contract he was currently negotiating on behalf of his employer. His comments to me?? I will NOT go to jail for this company.

That was certainly an eye opener.

He was absolutely horrified at the arrangements being negotiated with individuals in the purchasing department of a publicly traded company. We are talking millions of dollars, many, many millions of dollars.
This contract was being drawn up with 2 large companies to provide all resources for a period of 5 years exclusively. PERIOD. No possibility of any other firms selling services unless they passed through one of the 2 ‘preferred vendors’, ostensibly to cut down on the huge number of suppliers and invoices.

Sounds good??!! I find it extraordinary that no one questioned this .

What is being taken out of this equation, is that ALL THE FIRMS being excluded, are potential CUSTOMERS of this firm. An interesting perspective. No one is looking.

Yes, a huge, public company with shareholders, you could be one of them.
Yes, they have a legal responsibility to shareholders.
BUT, and here it is, NO ONE is watching.

The Senior Executives in this corporation are oblivious as to what is going on inside the companies they are supposed to be managing. They are scrambling to meet their quarterly reports, and focused on their end of year bonus’.
The lunatics are truly running the asylum.

From Senior Vice Presidents in Banks to Sales Organizations, to Service Providers, we are losing some of the brightest and the best, and all of them leaving within 5-10 years earlier than planned. This is happening everywhere, I am speaking with executives across North America, and am hearing the same words, almost verbatim.

We are losing knowledge. We are losing energy. We are losing drive, contacts, history. we are losing it all.

Multiply this behaviour and see an absolutely terrifying trend emerging.

What will we have left??!