Category Archives: Communication

Communication, Consideration, Happiness, Happiness, Relationships

Flirting

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It turns out, I am a total Romantic.
Old Fashioned.

Yes, It is my old fashioned British upbringing rearing it’s head……..

Yes, I like to have a Gentleman open the door.
Move my chair, help me with my coat….

With the Metoo# movement, I feel sorry for men today, the messages are SO mixed, it is hard for them to know what is acceptable and what is not.

Add to that all the rhetoric about Gender Norms, with many identifing themselves as Binary. One young lady I know was very rudely lectured by someone that she was “THEY”, and did not want to be referred to as a ‘SHE”…. Sorry, but if you were born with boobs, YOU ARE A GIRL.

Then there is all the nonsense about Political Correctness.

PUHLEESE………

Can we get back to some semblance of elegance, refinement …..MANNERS??? RESPECT?? DECENCY?? CONSIDERATION OF OTHERS???

Oh yes, back to FLIRTING!!

I am NOT suggesting by any stretch of the imagination that I want to go back to the Victorian Era and be a kept woman, I would
be murderous within 5 minutes…..GET OUT OF MY WAY!!

I love my independence, and the freedom of the lfe I have lived, travelling the globe on my own……meeting extraordinary people in fabulous places…..

One has absolutely NOTHING to do with the other………

Today was an interesting day. I went out to breakfast with a girlfriend and brought along my significent other, to a girly breakfast.
And no, three was NOT a crowd…….we spent 2 hours talking non stop and laughing.

And, here it comes, I was naughty…….i flirted with our male server……..yes, he has served us many times before, and knows exactly
What we will be eating……he pays attention…….and jokes with us……

And yes, I flirted with him in front of my significent other……..openly, shamelessly, with all 4 of us laughing…….and the more we laughed, the more flirtatious he bacame, and me back to him!!! Several tables around us ended up laughing at our antics……

There was an overabundance of laughter, and before we left, my girlfriend and I were presented with fresh hot baguettes as a take-away gift!!!

When we got out to the street, our car was blocked by a delivery truck, and our parking meter had died.
But, and here it comes,…..a police car had chased someone who he stopped a few car lengths in front of said truck…..what amazing timing!!!
So, I went up to see the officer, smiled, and asked if he could please come and ticket the truck once he was finished ticketing the car.

Police officers really like it when you joke with them and smile, just like everyone else…..so there was laughter and smiles.
He helped us back up our car onto the sidewalk and stopped traffic so we could get out, and with a fat smile, promised me that as the
Truck had been blocking us for well over 15 minutes, the driver would be presented with a big fat ticket. I thanked him, then
I blew him a kiss, and he was laughing as we drove off……

Did I mention, my significant other was driving the car!!! He was totally complicit……..and laughing……..he had just witnessed me flirting
For the SECOND time in an hour……

And then I did it again with a Priest…….in front of him, again……got my hug and kiss…..

YES……..

Flirting can be fun, it can be harmless, it can make someone’s day.
It can make someone feel good about themselves, appreciated, wanted……

And NONE of it in a sexual, inappropriate way.

Apparently it is a lost art, in having conversations with people about flirting, it appears very few have any inkling whatsoever how to do it, or even how to receive it. This is very sad.

Business, Communication, Privacy, Security

Personal Privacy – Lost at Sea

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If you are a regular reader of this BLOG, you may have read some of this before, if not, please pay attention.

Our Consultancy enjoys a Security and Privacy Practice, so we tend to speak with some of the brightest and most knowledgeable in the industry, including individuals from the Government.


What we are increasingly hearing is absolutely terrifying, as most of the public are allowing a total invasion of their privacy and personal data with absolutely NO thought as to the consequences.

Our Confidential Information is no longer Confidential, and YOU are at FAULT.

How many times have you filled in something on-line because it was easy?? ….SO easy, that you did NOT read the waiver, and agreed with everything.
Yes, you AGREED to have the recipient of the form SHARE all your confidential information, and you have absolutely no idea who has received it, or what they are doing with it.

So, when you filled in the form to look for the best CREDIT card, your information was shopped to a dozen companies, and shared with numerous credit agencies.

When you went online to improve your credit score, your information was sold.

When you filled in the form on-line with all your CONFIDENTIAL information for a company to find you the most competitive MORTGAGE rates, your information was shopped to a dozen companies.

When you filled in an on-line form for the best life insurance, all your CONFIDENTIAL information was shopped to a dozen companies without your knowledge.

When you fill in on-line surveys, your information is SOLD….yes, you are providing free information for their analytics department to sell. YOU are the product.

When you decided you needed to be fast tracked through the airport, and gave your CONFIDENTIAL information, retina scan and fingerprints, this information is shared INTERNATIONALLY, ever heard of INTERPOL??

Certain credit card companies insist on having your fingerprint, claiming it is to protect YOU, it is NOT. They are amassing ALL your personal data.

Every time you add someone on Facebook, Linkedin, and ‘LIKE” something, that information is sold, but worse, companies like the former Cambridge Analytica and others are able to use it to analyze your life style and friends, because you thought it would be cool to add your education, date of birth, family members and other personal information.
Unfortunately, if CSIS or the FBI think you or one of your friends or family are a criminal, ALL your contacts are reviewed due to guilt by association.
NONE of whom consented to this invasion of their privacy.

When you fill in a CREDIT card application, you are asked for the names of relatives who do not live with you, as well as friends.
Guess what!! If you become a DEAD BEAT, their credit scores drop through association. Yup. Not a joke.
Once again, if you put the name of someone on your form without their approval, you just damaged THEIR credit without their knowledge.

Then we get to my real favourite……DNA tests…….are you KIDDING me?? You have to be INSANE to provide this.

The Government has been itching to gather the DNA of the entire population for years, and you are PAYING for it??
Now, let me mention, once again, that ALL YOUR RELATIVES have their DNA exposed WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT by you doing this. Your uncles, children, their unborn children, shall I continue…..Seriously???

Increasingly there are CCTV cameras throughout cities, roads, highways, stores…….your EVERY movement is recorded. Face recognition is everywhere, now there is software to record your GAIT. … yes, the way you walk combined with your face….if you have a limp, favour a foot, carry your head slightly sideways…..

Voice recognition software is increasingly being used as an identifier..

Using your DEBIT card for EVERYTHING??? Once again, if you ever encounter financial difficulties, you can be SHUT DOWN in 2 seconds with NO ACCESS to cash. Your lifestyle can be TOTALLY monitored through your charges, from date and time, location, to choice of product, and stores.

Have you ever heard of the government doing lifestyle audits?? You have just provided all the information they seek….

Please do not insult my intelligence and say you have nothing to hide. Losing your identity is NOT about having something to hide, it is about companies and the Government knowing how much money you earn, how much you have, what are your assets, (see above) and where they are, who your friends and family are, and whether or not they are criminals. Please do not tell me how your life is an ‘OPEN BOOK’ , when confronted with some of this information, the most ‘OPEN’ books I know turn beet red and stop talking.

When is the last time you cleaned your “COOKIES” never??? Well, hurry up and do it, and make it a regular event.

The latest in the endless ways to remove any vestige of privacy, is airports and check-ins wanting to use Facial Recognition, presumably to make things ‘easier’…..
Then there is the famous ‘BODY SCAN” where they use X-Ray technology to take a total body photograph, which means every bump, ounce of fat, is exposed for the world to see, and if you think for a moment that they will delete it, think again.

There is a certain Insurance Company which now insists that policy holders wear a FitBit.

There is another Insurance Company pushing black box technology to ‘help you drive safely’ , seriously???

Purchase ‘Credit Monitoring” for a mere $10 per month, supplied by, yes, you got it, the very same Credit Bureau who LOST EVERYONE’s CONFIDENTIAL DATA, with their so called ability to scan the DARK WEB, which, anyone in IT knows is a TOTAL FRAUD, as there is no way to scan the dark web, which is the point of it in the first place. ..and bragging that the software cost $1 million is the joke of the century for those of us in the industry……anything only costing $1 million is USELESS. Just the cost of TESTING will be more than that…..just saying…..

A major Hotel chain was just hacked and lost the identities of 500 MILLION CLIENTS.

22 Million identities were just lost in the US holding SECURITY CLEARANCE.

Burglar alarm companies are pushing a new system whereby you can alarm your home, open your front door, turn on your furnace, etc. from your phone……..are you mad???

Personal assistants are always ON, monitoring EVERY word spoken in your home….and you think you have privacy???

SOOO, just to summarize, you use one of these utterly INSANE burglar alarm systems, you have a personal assistant in your home which can unlock your front door and turn off the alarm, what is to stop someone recording your voice, turning off your alarm in your absence and emptying your house??? ……Using YOUR voice to do it from a phishing phone call and recording you…….hellooo…..

Similarly your bank account, which you have on your phone, which can be opened with facial recognition……..hello…….a good photograph will do……probably on your Facebook page.

Thieves are approaching people’s homes to clone the key fobs of people who have automatic keys to unlock and start the car…….theft is up 16%

EVERY TIME you agree to one of the above services, you are eroding your and everyone else’s privacy.

Your sexual preferences, religious beliefs, political views are being watched and sold along with ALL your PERSONAL DATA.

STOP saying yes.       START paying attention to this erosion, and say NO.

Business, Communication, Consideration, Happiness, Integrity

A Life in Lockdown

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Take someone who is used to travelling up to 6 months of the year, meeting people all day long, then lock them inside their home for a year and what do you get???

A wicked case of Covid35….aaaaagh!!! my skinny jeans look at me aghast!!! To think I used to fit in them all!! They are horrified at my appearance, and shrink in horror….
(as if they weren’t tight enough)…!!!!

I consider myself extraordinarily fortunate. There is a very sweet, gentle, loving puppy who has offered her services to entertain, and is rarely more than a few feet away, providing endless kisses and love. If she could purr, she would.
Add to that an equally lovely life partner, and divine company is always close by.

Cooking is NOT my thing, Luckily having spent most of my life with one foot within the Asian community, I have learned to craft fast, healthy, tasty meals, 10 minutes from refrigerator to table.
Butternut squash Thai coconut soup, Tom Yum Seafood, Ratatouille, Mushroom Chicken, and occasionally, disgustingly rich Italian something, dripping in cheese, OK, so NOT Asian, just decadent.
A life partner who can actually follow a recipe…..(totally NOT my thing) and whips up decadent, wonderful meals.

Working from home is lovely, no traffic, no icy roads, no parking issues, but not being able to meet clients face to face and walk around is just NOT the same. Body language, facial expressions, micro expressions, eye contact, totally missing. Watching people interact with others, simply impossible.

Being doubled over in laughter, non-existent. Learning from extremely bright, extraordinarily creative executives……totally lacking.

Lots of time for contemplation and certain realizations. I see acquaintances adding Facebook friends as though those numbers actually matter. In fact, I find myself doing the exact opposite.
I have probably deleted over 40% of the people who were there…were they friends?? Acquaintances??? Taking advantage?? Or the big question…..do they actually make you laugh???

With death hovering outside the door every time you go out to do an errand due to all the selfish mask less people about, the concept of social distancing totally nonexistent, the concept of being locked in your house amplifies the desire to speak with friends who make you laugh, make you feel good, support you. People who are TRUE friends.

One such friend is in London, years have gone by, yet she answers the phone and I hear her voice booming down the line, and am instantly smiling. We speak easily for over an hour each call, endless laughter, sooo many subjects…..everything from Theatre, politics, Restaurants, food, endless……I hang up the phone, and am anxiously awaiting the next time we speak.

People complain about feeling isolated, but how many have reached out to those living alone and given them a smile?? A feeling of being less alone. A phone call is not expensive, but can have a huge impact on someone’s life. I do something utterly absurd with one friend, I send her pictures of Chelsey’s elegant toes, her bouncing, her eating poached salmon….with ridiculous subtitles. She knows we are always thinking about her, and are available instantly should she need us…..

Another British girlfriend rang up the other day, apologetic and embarrassed about her silence. But she knew she was safe, not being judged, as she described her horrific year. I told her off for not reaching out sooner. Made her promise she would call more often when she was upset.

Spend your time being kind. There is SO much evil and nastiness out there. From internet trolls to people who hate themselves and take it out on others.


Make sure you shower, wear clean, nice clothes, feel good about yourself. Read, educate yourself with all the extra time. Eat well…(well, maybe not TOO well)


Make someone laugh and feel needed.

The days won’t feel so dark.

Communication, Consideration, Impressions, Listening, Quality, Security

CovIDIOTS on the Move…..

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Try as I may, unfortunately there are certain subjects which are difficult to write in an amusing and entertaining fashion. Covid 19 is one of them.

I am astounded by the level of unconscionable arrogance and selfishness demonstrated by certain politicians and individuals which are about us.

This is NOT a joke. It is a world pandemic which has infected over 5 million people and killed over 330,000. The numbers are rising exponentially on a daily basis. People who know me well are aware that I am an ‘information junkie’ with a massive Canadian and International network of contacts, not to mention being an avid reader, easily consuming 10 magazines and books in a week when I am on a tear. There is a lot to process. Add to that a reasonable number of Medical Doctors around the world, and well, you get the picture.
The information is not amassed in an isolated fashion as I have also lived in multiple cities and countries and travelled extensively.

There are those pontificators who would have you believe everything they loudly expound, but the smart thing to do, like anything you read in public media, is to step back, and look at who they really are, how much they have travelled, and how large and diverse their networks.
In most cases, it is not so much. So, do you REALLY want to listen to them and risk your LIFE by listening to them? I think not.

Last weekend we celebrated Victoria Day in Canada, the US are celebrating Memorial Day this weekend.

Images are flooding television screens and Facebook feeds of tens of thousands of people all crammed together, no masks, no social distancing, no sense of danger, whatsoever. Just to be clear, wearing a mask is a sign of respect to yourself and others. Period.

Given the spread of microdroplets in the air, particularly in a breeze, they can spread well over 10 feet in seconds, with uncirculated air, they can linger in the air for 14 minutes after someone has spoken, coughed or sneezed.
MINUTES, not seconds, just to reiterate.

Unfortunately I actually know some of the guilty parties. People who have been out socializing in groups then getting together in private homes for cocktails.
One arrogant wag actually posted “ F it, I want to go out and see my friends and hug them….”
Her so-called loving hugs can bring someone an excrutiating death. If there ever was a time to reconsider your friends, this is it.
Clearly I will not be having anything to do with her, ever. That total lack of insensivity towards the security of others is not something I wish to experience.

We have neighbours with children who are NEVER home. They are constantly coming and going to visit with others.
Others have children riding bicycles like hooligans with crowds of others screaming and creating havoc. WHERE are their parents??? And just WHAT are they thinking??

I guess they have all conveniently forgotten why their children are not in school and they are not at their jobs……

As much as being prisoners in our own home is not something we relish, being alive and healthy and together is something we relish a LOT. We are trying to approach it with a sense of adventure and a sense of humour. From Friday Night ‘Date Night’ to working outside and getting much needed sunshine and natural Vitamin D, we are making our home look pretty. We both cook in totally different styles, so the other thing we do is pretend we are going out to dinner. Last night we went to ‘Chinatown’ for noodle soup. Yes, in our dining room, no, we did not go anywhere near a restaurant. But it was absolutely delicious.

The other thing we do is call our friends around the world to say hello. People feel loved and not so totally isolated as they self quarantine, as well as knowing they are not alone in doing the ‘right thing’.

Although there are those who avoid Social Media such as Facebook, it is an extraordinary tool to stay in touch with friends in far flung parts of the world.
They really do appreciate it when you reach out to them.

There have been some unfortunate observations, and that is the utter arrogance and selfishness of the young, and it can unfortunately be directly attributed to their parents. Many individuals grew up with extremely strict parents, and swore they would not treat their own children in that fashion. We are now living the reprecussions of them never having overly disciplined their children. Their offspring are selfish, rude, and have never experienced any type of hardship. They have been coddled and protected from anything remotely unpleasant, and repeatedly told just how ‘special’ they are, even if they are not.
The lack of manners and discipline is awful, consequently, the concept of self isolating, social distancing, and considering the safety of others before themselves is a foreign concept, and they are handling it VERY badly. When their entire lives have been about their being special, their image, their so-called fabulous lives, what to do when you are isolated at home with very bad hair, a bad complexion, and unable to take awesome selfies?? Unable to go out with their ‘posse’…!! Oh horror or horrors!!!

All of a sudden, they are confronted with the concept of being forced to consider the safety and lives of others. This is NOT an easy thing to do when you have never done it before. Putting the safety of others FIRST, being told to self-isolate, to protect the lives of others, self distance, and OH MY……wear a mask…….IN PUBLIC…..such a foreign concept…

Unfortunately as the weekend comes to a close, we hear of escalating rates of infection and death in Quebec, Ontario, throughout the US, Brazil and Mexico…..

The same weekend filled with images on beaches, protesting in huge crowds, shopping in malls, all in close proximity to one another, all with NO MASKS, and no social distancing.

Covid 19 is an equal opportunity killer. It does not care a whit about your religion, your age, your sex, your position in life….or lack thereof.

Do the right thing, wash your hands, your body, your hair, shave your face, wash your clothes, your shoes…….keep 6-10 feet from others. Leave your filthy handbag at home. Clean your mobile phone. ….If you feel remotely unwell, STAY HOME. Ask someone to check in on you by telepone. Do NOT risk the lives of others by going out due to your selfishness.

Just a thought, could you live your life knowing you were responsible for the death of your close relative or best friend??

Think about it.

Be smart.

Be Safe.

Business, Communication, Impressions, Integrity, Quality

IT’S FREE!!!!

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Most of the people I know are of above average intellect, and are more successful than the average, yet, nontheless, are drawn to aggressive advertising and often exhibit a level of naivety which is extraordinary.

Just to be clear, NOTHING is FREE.

YOU are the product.

My biggest bug a boo is DNA testing. It is being touted as super cool to find out about your family history. The Government and Insurance Companies have been trying to find a way to obtain this information forever …Information is POWER.

Yet, here you are, thinking just how COOL you are giving away your DNA, to these organizations, touting the COOLNESS of knowing your family tree.
Little tidbits are sent along, always requesting more information, please send along the name of your maternal grandfather, children, uncles, cousins…

Let me be VERY CLEAR, you have just GIVEN away your familial DNA without the express consent of ANY current and future family member.

If, for example, there are genetic illnesses in your family, such as Alzheimer’s, MS, Cancer, etc, and you are helping build a family tree, with NO ONE’s
Consent, have you not considered that members of your family could find themselves being hit with huge health and life insurance bills unknowlingly??

Some Insurance Companies are now insisting on DNA screening, others, the wearing of Fitbits, others, placing Black Boxes in your car to monitor
Your driving habits. By virtue of accepting to use one, you are also sharing your GPS being captured, so that they see EVERYWHERE you go.

“send us your Insurance application and we will look for the best rates for free’ !! are you really that guillable?? They have just shopped ALL your
Confidential information to 30 companies….WITH your consent…..

Do you STILL think it is free???

Let me repeat, YOU are the Product.

“Let us monitor your credit score””……..another one which makes my skin crawl…..

Wonder why you are being inundated with pre-approved credit card applications, financial service companies and car salesmen???

Your CONFIDENTIAL information has been SOLD, and you approved it.

“”TRY our matress for free””…

YUK ! YUK !!! YUKKK!!!

Does that mean if you do not keep it, the next poor sucker gets a used matress??

It is NOT free…… it is USED…..

“”Use OUR App to find the best Real Estate Agent in your neighbourhood””….
It is NOT free, the agents are paying to have their names there…..
SOO……are they the best, or only the ones who have paid???

“””Use OUR App to find the best Home Repair Specialist!!

See above….moreover, you have just GIVEN away your home address, and budget for home repairs….
When salesmen start knocking on your door offering their services, DO NOT be surprised…….

You GAVE away your information……

Do I have your attention yet??!!

Let me repeat, YOU are the PRODUCT!!

Looking for a mortgage??? Let US find you the best rates, just fill in OUR online application…. Listing ALL your assets and liabilities….. to a company
Offering to shop and find you the best rates…..guess what, ALL your confidential financial information is NO LONGER CONFIDENTIAL, they have
Shopped it to 30 companies who are now in possession of it. They are SELLING IT, ALL OF IT.

Just an additional thought, in that application, you listed all your possessions of value such as art and jewellery, and you GAVE THAT INFORMATION WAY.
Helloooo!!!

People are giving the government permission to take a facial scan for facial recognition, IRIS scans, fingerprints and now DNA….and you still do not think
You are being surveilled??

Does this not sound vaguely familiar…..???

The Government knows where you bank, and how you spend your money, and can close you down in an instant…..should they think you are cheating…..

YOU are the PRODUCT.

Start exercising your power and just say NO.

Business, Communication, Consideration, Impressions, Listening

WORDS MATTER!

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I want to thank the people who contribute directly and indirectly to this BLOG. There are a great many people out there scratching their heads at the behaviour they witness and experience at the hands of others, with the knowledge that whatever they say will not be attributed, hence they are free to varbalise knowing there will not be any adverse reprecussions.

Sometimes words drop out of the mouths of otherwise intelligent people leaving one to question if they have any concept whatsoever of just how seriously offensive they were…

Being told …..I’m too busy to talk to you right now, I am eating my lunch
Really…….will it go somewhere if you do not eat it this very second???

I need to go and sell to this important client, only to learn that they have never met this person before, and who purchases absolutely NOTHING. Furthermore, based upon their dress and comportement, it is unlikely they ever will……..

I am waiting for an important client, so you will have to leave……only to learn that the ‘important’ client never turned up.

I have to put this merchandise away right now, you will have to wait.
SOOO, the merchandise is more important than a potential customer??? Is it going to make a purchase???!!!

I am on the phone (with a friend judging by the utter drivel coming out of your mouth) …you will just have to wait……

Send me an email, I am too busy to talk to you right now…..
OK, but we are already ON THE PHONE, why not spend the additional minute and have the discussion???!!

Send me an email and tell me why you want to speak with me. …..REALLY???

Do you know who I am??!! (Why is it people who are SOOO arrogant as to ask this question are always the least important) ??!!

SOO, just a few thoughts……

If you repeatedly tell people they are NOT important clients, they never will become one.

If you claim to always be too important or too busy, at some point people WILL stop calling you and give you all the free time in the world.

Business, Communication, Consideration

What ever happending to manners??

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YES, I am absolutely ranting about this subject again, hence, ROSLYNSRANTS.COM.

As a tall, blond, well dressed woman, with a handbag in my hand, and a coat on my back,  do I actually look like a doorman to you??  Do you have ANY idea how many times I have held open the door for the person directly behind me and had 10 rude people push their way through, NONE of whom had the good manners to either acknowledge me in any way or better,  say Thank You??

Yes, I was brought up in an extremely strict British household, NO, it was not fun. As a child I was forced to learn how to use ALL the cutlery on the table, elbows off the table, sit still, do not speak until you are spoken to, sit still for hours,  no carrying on, …. it was excruciating, but I recognize it as one of the greatest gifts as an adult. I learned to behave.

Grace, elegance, eloquence, manners, consideration for those around us, regardless of social position, seem to be something of the past, the way most people hold their cutlery and eat today is absolutely repugnant. At least 50% of the population do not know how to use a knife and fork, how to use a napkin, NOT to blow your nose at the table, and even worse, put the used tissue on the table…….

And then there are other little things…such as putting one’s pinky in the air when drinking tea……..seriously??   soooo pretentious…….

Spearing food and chewing loudly, mouth open, and talking so that we see all the half chewed food spraying about…..UGH…UGH….UGH!!

Watching white people in a Chinese or Japanese restaurant is even worse…….they are loud, snapping their fingers at the staff as if they are their personal servants, with absolutely NO idea as to Asian etiquette…….and NO, I DO NOT care if you are white, try and be respectful of your environment.  Etiquette is etiquette.  …  KEEP YOUR HANDS OUT OF THE FOOD….it is considered the height of bad manners…….

What happened to helping someone with a heavy bag??

Helping someone to cross an icy sidewalk??

Given that I am a woman, why is it that I am the only one extending an outstretched hand to someone trying to cross an icy sidewalk??  Opening doors???  Waiting politely in line for my turn, not bursting into the line, expressing my  perceived importance in a loud, arrogant voice……..??

What happened to integrity? Decency??   Manners??  Consideration of others?? NO ONE is in such a hurry that taking 2 seconds to be courteous is an imposition. If all these so-called busy people were actually remotely busy,  other than their  make believe importance,  they would not have the time to binge watch TV. Yes, when you speak so loudly on your mobile phone we know that you spent 5 hours watching TV last night……

I have an acquaintance, certainly no longer a friend in any stretch of the imagination, who is embarrassing and disgraceful. Always ranting on about aging gracefully, then always sticking everyone with the bill, and expecting to be driven around without EVER contributing to gas or parking.

Another one invited my significant other out to a restaurant for his birthday, ordered drinks, no, we did not imbibe, insisted we try several items on the menu, carried on with the waiters like he was a big shot, then stuck us with the bill, AGAIN.

No one seems to understand old fashioned ideas like Birthday cards,  Sympathy Cards, sending flowers, Thank you notes, responding to RRVP’s on time, yet ironically, these are the same individuals grasping desperately for the wonderful invitations to posh parties and cocktails……..they almost think their presence is so magical that manners are of no consequence. Bringing a gift to an afternoon tea, dinner party, cocktail party, birthday party, also appears to be a lost art. ….   And actually considering the taste of the host , well, that would be too much to ask.  Did it EVER enter the minds of these rude, rude individuals that entertaining is not cheap or easy??   All the alcohol, and food you consume costs money and must be prepared. There is prep work before, during and after any social gathering. If it is held in someone’s home, they probably cleaned it within an inch of its life before you arrived, and will do the same thing afterwards. I have been to extraordinary parties all over the world, some with an insane number of staff ……do you think they are FREE????

The  very least you can do is BRING or SEND a GIFT.  Arriving consistently empty handed is not only rude, it is extremely disrespectful. 

On line rudeness is a new phenomenon,  social media such as Facebook is full of hateful, mean individuals posting cruel hurtful snippets in response to the posts of utter strangers. Does it give the some perverse sense of power to inflict such cruelty??  Do they not realize just how easy it is to find out who they are and where they live???

Today, with the rise in violence around the world, WORDS KILL.

Then, of course, there are the shop keepers who see someone enter their shop and say loudly, “ I see an important client, you will have to go…..” you are totally correct, the person in front of you will NEVER become an important client, you just totally offended them, it is soooo easy to go elsewhere…..

The purpose of manners is to treat others as you wish to be treated……..how simple is that??

Communication, Consideration, Impressions, Integrity, Listening, Quality

On Being selfish

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We have all met them, it could be a friend, family member, work associate, but it is ALWAYS about them. Their image, their birthday, their finances, their needs. But what happened to the rest of us??

Manners are considered to be the social grease. Perhaps not the most elegant choice of words, however, having good manners at the very base, is having consideration for others. 

Not doing to others what one does not wish to have done to oneself.

Selfishness rears its ugly head in a myriad of ways, it can be cloaked in jealousy, arrogance, or just the total lack of empathy or consideration of others.

From those who post endlessly on Facebook, and want us to ‘like’ and ‘share’ their beliefs, events, and successes, but would never consider doing the same for others.

Those who only promote or help those who they think can advance their own cause. 

Those who argue their beliefs but are utterly unwilling to allow that others may have a totally different opinion. Our life experiences are all different,  the best part about meeting and conversing with people is that one can actually learn, and sometimes from the most unlikely people. 

Not responding to an RSVP in a timely and considerate way, waiting until the last  possible moment in case something better turns up, but ignoring the fact that the person extending the invitation has to plan and purchase food and drink accordingly, as well as planning for the number of wait staff if it is a large event.

Turning up at an event with an unexpected guest or guests, and not warning the host prior to your arrival, forcing them to scramble trying to set extra places at the table, and figure out just HOW to extend the allocated food to feed the extra mouths, given the meal was planned for a lesser number of guests.

Not sharing information in a business setting in order to appear more important than they are. This works for a while, but inevitably backfires, as once people catch on, they will actually cease inviting the hoarder to meetings. 

Not considering that other people actually have feelings, and your words are harsh and hurtful.

Always turining up at a Dinner Table or Cocktail party empty handed, regardless the event. Have you ever considered just how much work it is to entertain, and just how much it costs??

Expecting fabulous gifts for your birthday, wedding, Christmas……and receiving amazing thoughtful gifts, but never reciprocating?? Regardless of whether it is your family or best friend, it is simply arrogant and rude.  Just like you love the excitement of unwrapping an amazing gift or gifts, so do they.

Please do not insult our intelligence by stating that you did not have time or that money is tight, but then sit and talk about all the posh restaurants and bars you have visited, the new shoes and purse, trip, car… you just purchased, the fun events you have been to, as you chow down on our food and drink. You knew about the event well in advance and had ample time to arrange something. If you are really that clueless about what to purchase for someone, PICK UP THE PHONE and ask someone.

I had one friend who actually was generous, however her constant borrowing of money and complaining about being broke at the same time as showing off another $4000 handbag or another trip to Europe simply became too much. Just making a feeble attempt to pay back SOMETHING would have been an amazing gesture, but it never came. 

People wanting your professional advice in business, yet always telling you that they can’t provide any assistance for whatever reason  when you need something in return…..hellooo??

People in Vintage and Antique stores selling you something and exclaiming how fabulous it is until you have paid for it, but if, heaven forbid, you wish to sell it at a later date telling you that it is worthless after they have insulted it for 5 minutes….

Can you really hear yourself??  And WHY on earth would I EVER buy from you again??   

We live in interesting times. 

A little consideration and generosity goes a long way.

We DO remember.

Communication, Impressions, Integrity, Job Hunting, Listening, Social Networking

What to do when the head hunter calls….

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We have been in a market expansion for a number of years, and millennial’s have been extraordinarily fortunate to have never lived through a major market meltdown, never lived through high double digit interest rates or massive layoffs.

This has brought a level of arrogance which most employers find extraordinary. Candidates are approached for positions and their responses are often arrogant beyond belief, Granted, many are being approached by a panoply of individuals, however, being rude or simply not returning phone calls is NOT the answer. We are ALL being approached, regardless of our level or title, often by rude, low level clerks in agencies who have absolutely no clue about our industry. Yes, being called by an idiotic 19 year old with 3 weeks of work experience is not ideal by any stretch of the imagination, but we are not all created equally. Some of us actually have more industry experience than you have, so being flippant, condescending and downright rude, is not appreciated.

When the market ultimately crashes and thousands lose their cushy jobs with free food and sleep rooms, we will remember those who were mind numbingly rude. Yes, we actually do keep notes, and we actually are known to share.

If you are asked to something by a Senior Head Hunter, from changes on your resume to providing documents, do it immediately. If you are asked a second or third time, you are simply proving that your career advancement is not that important to you. If you say you will call on a particular day, do it, or follow up with a note or call to apologize, and schedule your next call. Life throws us all situations where we are not able to deliver on a promise, but calling to apologize immediately is the best response.

Do NOT tell the Head Hunter you are too busy or worse, too important. They may have the opportunity of a life time, and you just convinced them that you are not the ideal candidate.
The last individual who told me that missed out on an amazing opportunity. The candidate who took the position was promoted after several months and is earning over twice the salary, not to mention extraordinary benefits, than one of the individuals who told me he was a ‘very busy, important man”…..yup, he is still at his old employer earning a fraction of the lucky candidate. Guess he is not so important after all. NO, he will never be called again.

Do NOT tell Senior Head Hunters you know better than them, you would be surprised at the mandates we receive. Some executive somewhere is paying us to find the best. To presume that you know better, is to essentially say that the Senior Executive who gave us the mandate is stupid. Do you really want to do that???

Our Consultancy is actually just that, a High End IT Consultancy, we all have over 25 years of actual IT experience. Some more technical than others. Never did we plan on doing Search, but after being lied to and scammed by several agencies in the past, we ascertained that there HAD to be a better way, our clients agreed. We started in Search with more mandates than we could ever possibly fill.

Just because you feel some sense of importance having received several calls for new positions, do NOT become arrogant. People speak, even competitors. High End Head Hunters also speak with their clients and will give names of individuals to ‘KEEP OFF’.

Our database literally has hundreds of names marked with the notation , KEEP OFF’.

People who were rude, chauvinistic, arrogant, do not return phone calls, did not deliver on promises, have bad references, were fired repeatedly, have fake degrees, fake job titles, have resumes on Linkedin which bear NO resemblance to the 5 we currently have on file, or are on the take.
It is easy to be arrogant when the market is booming, but it always crashes, and many of the rudest people are the ones who call back like they are your ‘NEW BEST FRIEND’ …do you really think we are remotely interested in helping them??? If they are rude to us, just how rude are they within the companies where they work??

If a Senior Head Hunter gives you advice on anything from dressing, etiquette, hygiene, comportment, listen to them. A Senior Executive is paying for their expertise, and you are NOT the only person out there.

For those of us who have survived numerous recessions and even depressions, our clients come to us for a reason, and they are paying for our expertise. We actually do understand the mandate and are seeking the brightest, best out there, and manners figure very loudly into that equation. And YES, we are paying attention. If your behaviour is rude or arrogant, how can we possibly trust you to work within the client environment??
Taking yourself too seriously will have us running to find someone with a sense of humour and humility.
Yes, I absolutely used the word humility. Don’t have any, don’t call us.

Wake up people.
You are just NOT THAT SPECIAL.

Business, Communication, Consideration, Impressions, Integrity, Social Networking

Views on Aging

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Life comes with an automatic death sentence. No matter how rich or famous, successful or not, death is an absolute. Life is to be lived and embraced. It is an opportunity to live, travel, taste, see, and experience all the amazing sights in this world, to meet extraordinary people in extraordinary places. I have been extremely fortunate in my life, and have met some unbelievably incredible people from every part of the globe. How you view life and appreciate the time you have goes very much along the lines of whether the glass is half full or half empty.

In both my Professional and Personal life, I meet an inordinate number of people from every corner of the globe, and love the fact that everyone has stories to share. It is an amazing way to learn. Similarly, I am absolutely mesmerized at meeting individuals in their 20’s who are obsessing about their retirement, and have not considered the option of living their lives on a daily basis, at the same time as meeting others who embrace life in the fullest, and will not stop moving forward. From the 80 year old who decided and succeeded in becoming an artist, and has had a couple of solo exhibits in art galleries, travels extensively, including a jaunt to Hong Kong to meet up with an old friend.
How do you have an intelligent conversation with a 20 something who refuses to learn another language, has been nowhere, done nothing with their life, has no hobbies to speak of, no accomplishments, no enthusiasm, no curiosity, and tells you that once they retire they might actually consider doing something?? With that TOTAL lack of drive, it is questionable whether they will actually survive long enough to retire, being old and boring at 20.

Some people are born whiners, others develop into whiners to elicit attention, every little incident intensified as though it was a major crisis of epic proportions, yet others experience horrific experiences in their lives and quietly, stoically, push on silently.

Since last fall, I have once again had to face my friends dying monthly, some months, more than one. Some young, some old. It is very difficult to say goodbye to so many people. But at the same time, I consider myself to be extremely fortunate to have known them and shared some small part of their lives. Some funerals, like people, are dismal and depressing, others joyful, a celebration of a life well lived. What is it that defines your view on living?? Are you joyous? Engaging? Entertaining? …or one of those people, who, as in some of the cartoon characters, are walking through life with a gray cloud over your head.
What is it about some people who are such whiners, negative, depressing, demanding, exhausting, who experience no joy, yet they have faced no hardships, when others who have lived through so much worse endure silently.

Facebook and social media present an incredible window on social behaviour. I am truly blown away by some of the things posted by certain individuals, and the depths to which they will sink to garner attention. There are so many toxic people bringing darkness instead of joy. I prefer to purge the darkness and embrace the light, if that means fewer friends, but joyful friends who bring laughter, then I am more than prepared to live with that. I would rather live with laughter and joy than darkness. It is sunny outside, I will go soak up the sunshine alone, breathe in its heat and joy, and banish those to darkness, and celebrate my extraordinary luck in having shared my life with extraordinary people, many gone too soon.