Category Archives: Quality

Business, Consideration, Integrity, Quality

Keeping your word

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What is your reputation worth to you??  $500,   $1000??  $100??

A phone call??

A Lunch??

Fulfilling your obligations towards someone?

Paying your consignors??

Paying your suppliers??

Repaying the money you borrowed??

Doing the unpleasant chore you promised??

Spending time with someone you agreed to see, when you have a better invitation??

Are you allergic to the truth??

Do you get an imaginary rash when you have to do something you promised??

Today’s world with its instant gratification, has taken away Social Responsibility and Social Correctness.

If you tell someone you will call them back, DO IT.

If you say you will call someone to meet up for lunch, DO IT.

if someone invites you to their home, have the decency to give them appropriate notice that you are either coming or not, do not leave them hanging wondering if you have died or are simply incredibly rude. It takes time and money to receive guests.  Not replying is tantamount to theft. That food they purchased for your pleasure cost money. The time and thought they spent was spent out of consideration, to not reply is to throw it in their face.

Christmas is supposed to be a time where people visit with family and friends and have a good time, but unfortunately, it is also the time of year where we see some of the most unpleasant faces of many individuals.

Invitations come from many  directions,  waiting to answer  someone to see if you get something better is rude beyond belief. If you become known for this behavior, at some point no-one will invite you again, knowing they can’t count on you. This behaviour became rampant in London Society a few years ago, and a few Socialites started exchanging the names of the perpetrators. At some point, they stopped receiving invitations to ANYTHING.

This BLOG is just a reminder, this is also a time of year when many people are incredibly alone, and your rudeness and lack of consideration may put them over the edge.

Try keeping your word, be respectful, be thoughtful, be kind. People who actually keep their word are the most respected of all.  It is not your cool selfie that really matters. Not your title, not your fancy home or car. It is your WORD.

Happy Holidays!!!

Business, Consideration, Integrity, Quality

RESPECT!!!!

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YUK! YUK! YUK!!!

Dear Reader,

this BLOG was composed BEFORE COVID, and never posted. As infections are skyrocketing, and the behaviour we see boggles the mind, I decided to make several changes and post this as a wake up call….NO, I am NOT suggesting my readers are guilty of this behaviour, what i am doing is hoping that along the way I may actually save someone’s life.

Feel free to share this with individuals who exhibit this behaviour.

The utter lack of self respect, self awareness, and respect for others, exhibited by some people is beyond dispicable.

We are certainly not all brought up the same way, but a little consideration of others goes a long way.

This week, I had the unfortunate opportunity to witness some seriously disgusting social behaviour.

Taking a shower, washing your hair, brushing your teeth, washing hands, and nails, and wearing clean clothes to visit the Doctor. I sat in a waiting room for 2 hours with a mask on my face, and from what I could ascertain, of the 50 people coming and going, only 2, yes, 2 of us had showered, washed their hair, and were wearing clean clothes, shoes, etc.

Likewise, showering, shaving, washing your hair, using deodorant, brushing your teeth, putting on clean clothes when you are going out to dinner with others. Your lack of cleanliness
Does not add to anyone’s appetite, or wish to share anything with you, quite the contrary. UGH!

Coughing openly in a crowded room. Several boxes of facial tissues were free and available. Next time, perhaps take a few instead of
Sharing your illness with the rest of us….COVID equals DEATH. HELLOOOO

Coughing into your hand, then offering it to me to shake it. Seriously??? YUK! YUK! YUK!!

Leaving behind your used, gross, discarded tissues on the table in a restaurant expecting the server to remove it.
Do you not have pockets??

A little decency would be nice.

YES, we noticed.

Clipping your nails in a public place, letting them drop on the floor…. SOO disgusting… Is it really too much trouble to remove your self to the washroom next time??

Using the toilet and not flushing, then just to add to the image, not washing your filthy hands as you exit the washroom, touching EVERYTHING
Along the way….

Walking on the sidewalk with your mobile phone glued to your face, forcing everyone to step aside for you. Whatever you are looking at
Will still be there once you reach your destination.
It is just NOT that important.

Complaining endlessly about not being invited to social gatherings, but never, ever, initiating anything yourself, or, even better,
Putting your hand in YOUR pocket and paying for the others. Perhaps for once, try picking up the telephone, initiating and PAYING
For those who have been financing you forever.

Insisting on splitting the bill evenly in a restaurant, when you have been ordering numerous cocktails, bottles of wine, and extra courses, when others have NOT…. Some of us do not drink and drive. Why should we pay for you to get drunk?? ….why should we pay for you to eat a fat lobster, an entree, a desert, when we eat a salad with a coffee?? You KNOW who I am talking about…….

Being invited to a surprise Birthday party, arriving with a lovely gift, only to be told that you are expected to contribute to a group gift, and to add insult to injury, you are given an envelope and told the minimum amount…on top of paying for a meal with wine which is equally divided amongst the number of people at the table…..

Perhaps telling people in advance would be appropriate??
Some of us were NOT brought up to bring envelopes of money, in fact I have never heard of this practice before, and found it extremely offensive….and furthermore, I DID NOT DRINK ONE DROP OF THE WINE that I was obliged to pay for…..

Hosting a party for a 25th Wedding Anniversary, receiving expensive gifts and never, ever acknowledging them …..

Returning phone calls, promptly, regardless of the reason you THINK the person has called you.
Can you read their mind??

Why on earth would they return YOUR call in your moment of need, if you have always ignored theirs???

Another charmer invited my sweetie for a birthday lunch, proceeded to order like a mad fiend, drink cocktails and wine, act like a bigshot in the restaurant, so that everyone saw him, ordered a bottle of wine even though we BOTH protested we were not drinking, then STUCK US WITH THE BILL…….

Is there something not clear about the words…..WE DO NOT WANT ALCOHOL that you don’t understand???

Clearly not enough times, as you have since been purged from my list of friends, ….. NOW do you get it???

Panhandlers who have sad stories to tell but have been on the same corner for years, wearing expensive clothes, smoking $15 packages
Of cigarettes and drinking $2.50 soft drinks, who then become aggressive when you refuse to give them your hard earned cash. Some are extremely aggressive towards women, and will actually threaten them if they do not give them money……one actually chased my secretary up Peel Street……terrified…….

The pan handler who has spent years in front of Ogilvy’s married a woman he met in Florida during the winter, and she drives him to “work” in a brand new SUV…..

The same panhandlers who disappear the day after Christmas and go to Florida for the winter, then reappear at the end of March, with a fabulous tan…..

WHY are YOU giving them money?? …are YOU going to Florida for 3 months every winter???

People on Social Media who are always insisting that you ‘SHARE’ their posts, but never, ever ‘like’ anything that you post.

It would be nice, just for once, for you to acknowledge the rest of us…you are just NOT that special……

Did you ever consider that many of us totally disagree with your views??

Going to an event, such as a Birthday party, and being TOLD that we are expected to contribute generously to YOUR charity of the week?? Seriously??

People ramming their feel good ‘charity of the week’ down your throat, and trying to guilt you into contributing.
IF and when I decide to contribute to something, it will be what I chose, NOT you. Just STOP. It is your GUILT, not mine.

Endlessly posting pictures of your child or grandchild covered in food. It is NOT cute. One is enough, 20 is RUDE. NO, it is really not cute.

Once again, THANK YOU to all who anonymously contribute to this BLOG. Some of your comments are hysterical……and much appreciated in a
World gone mad.

Consideration, Impressions, Integrity, Quality, Relationships

The End of Elegance

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Over the last number of years, we have witnessed a rapid decline in elegance, be it manners, dress code or living style.

Some of us remember dressing for dinner, cocktail parties, and the appropriate behaviour to go along with it. Proper polite introductions, and making guests feel welcome and included in conversations.

Spectacular table settings with elegant seating, magnificent linens, mind blowing flowers, spectacular silver, cutlery and tableware. Alternating between speaking to those on the right and left, then across the table. NO cellphoes. Remember those days??

Women for the most part, dressed appropriately, not with flouncy dresses and hooker shoes. Men wore elegant suits with crisp, white shirts, and fabulous silk ties……

In London, one continues to see formal dress codes, although today they are finally being relaxed a little. Women are increasingly wearing tuxedos and trouser suits, which noteably, I have been wearing for longer than I will admit to. Absolutely NO dresses for moi.

I recently had an interesting conversation with a friend about the lack of elegance. (yes, of course it is you!!!)… she always looks quietly elegant in a Black Yves St Laurent Suit, understated, elegant, and total simplicity.

Elegant dress and behaviour seem to be something of the past, and many of us truly miss it.

People sent ( In England, they still do…) crisp, engraved invitation cards with gold leaf borders in nice stiff envelopes. One sent back a proper RRSP card, and subsequently a Thank You card and thoughtful gift to the hostess. Over the years, I have attended some extraordinary events around the world, some with a Footman for each guest.

House decoration has experienced a similar decline, all white cheap furniture does not make for an inviting or comfortable home. Remember huge down sofas and pillows?? Thick carpets, spectacular art works, period furniture?? ….Linen and fine cotton sheets with fluffy down duvets??
Remember when table settings were breath taking?? Dollar store glasses and dishes do not really inspire…..

These days we see individuals who should know better, arrive at Vernissages in cut off pants, open toe sandals (vulgar at the best of times, this is NOT the beach) and Tshirts….. who on earth does this??

Women arrive dressed like tarts with decolletages down to the naval and hooker shoes…..do you REALLY think those tacky gladiator heels are elegant??

I was at an event a few months ago, when a Senior Partner of a Law firm arrived very late, unshaven, his clothes looked and smelled as though he had been sleeping in them, upon entering the room, his behaviour was breathtaking, pushing and shoving his way through the guests to speak with someone he deemed important. Eyes were rolling quietly at his ghastly behaviour. It did not improve.

If his personality and presence were even remotely sparkly, his conversation entertaining, it would be one thing, but he is a dour, humourless, arrogant man. Age has not been kind to him….his real personality is increasingly showing, and sweet is certainly not an adjective which is even remotely present in one’s mind to describe him……

These events are meant to be happy social gatherings, a modicum of enthusiasm and curtesy towards the attendees is expected. But then, once again, he arrived empty handed and scarfed his way through the food and alcohol being served.

Perhaps I am harsh, but I was not brought up to behave in such a callous, inconsiderate fashion.

The latest social demise appears to be Birthday celebrations. Apparently they are acceptable for children and no one else.
In the past they were celebrated with style, elegant, thoughtful gifts and cards chosen to please the recipient and often to entertain the guests.

Today, people turn up late, inappropriately dressed and empty handed. Somehow they are under the impression that their presence is sufficient.
Let me be patently CLEAR, it is NOT.
It is the height of bad behaviour, and complaining about the cost of gifts being too expensive when you are alternatively bragging about your most recent purchase is utterly classless.

To accept lovely gifts from others, and not reciprocate, take a moment and consider just how rude that is….

Last word on the subject, corner store flowers and wine, and dollar store items are not acceptable, ever.

A sad anecdote on the subject. I used to have a girlfriend who was extremely generous towards her friends, both in terms of throughtful beautiful gifts, but also generously entertaining them. Year after year I was the ONLY one attending her birthday parties who showered her with wonderful thoughtful gifts. On more than one occasion, at the end her birthday party, she would be in tears, simply not comprehending just how these women who claimed to be her ‘best friends’ could be so inherently selfish, arriving either empty handed or with only a cheap bottle of wine.
NO, none of them have financial constraints.

Vicious trolls onilne……

WHAT is with that???
Ruining someone’s reputation posting untruths which can’t be removed. I do not understand what is the point, or how one derives some pleasure from such cruelty.
Posting an endless barrage of insults and distruths about total strangers.
There is something inherently wrong with our society when someone has to hire a lawyer at great expense and inconvenience to protect one’s reputation from these ugly trolls.
The mere fact that there are now companies whose entire business is trying to remove hateful, inaccurate posts is inconceivable and totally disgraceful.

Table Hopping is another social no no that I simply can’t abide. It is the most disrespectful thing I have ever seen. Individuals who go to a restaurant with someone, then walk around holding court as if they own the place, shaking hands, speaking with people for more than simply a polite acknowledgement ,and speaking loudly all the while leaving their dinner partner(s) wondering why they are there at all. How someone can possibly think this behaviour makes them look important escapes me.

Clearly I am not the only one feeling this way, it is becoming a subject on the lips of more and more people.
Hopefully this trend will reverse and we will return to a more elegant, considerate way of living…..

What do YOU think??

Business, Consideration, Happiness, Happiness, Quality

Living Through a Pandemic

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As an observer of life, I find it fascinating that sometimes those making the loudest pronouncements and taking up the most space intellectually are actually the ones living the saddest lives.

In life, one makes certain key decisions as how one chooses to live their lives, and I made mine very early on, and followed my dream, mostly in silence. People I know would lose sight of me for weeks or months on end, my excuse for my absences was that I was working. That was certainly partly the case, and working in several cities simultaneously is a challenge, now, did I meet ‘x’ in Toronto or Chicago?? Yikes!!!

I have endured endless nasty gossip from women with too little to do with their sad little lives other than gossiping ruthlessly about people they know little or nothing about. The more I have heard of the gossip, the further away I ran…..

Living life well is the best revenge ,doing it on your own dime, even better…

One of the extraordinary gifts I have enjoyed is making amazing friends who are scattered around the world. As we are locked down in our homes we are seeing empty streets with a proliferation of wild animals wandering aimlessly about…..air less polluted, and quiet….

Taking the time to call some of these individuals has been wonderful, no one is in a hurry to go anywhere beyond the kitchen, and the ability to spend an hour on the phone with no disturbances has been brilliant!!!, but even better, the laughter has been incredible !!!

But there have been some less attractive observations, which is seeing certain people showing their true colours.

From cyberbullying on Facebook, to acting out like spoiled, pathetic children, showing a distinct lack of class or consideration for others. The refusal to wear a mask in public, and bragging about their unwillingness only shows their ignorance and selfishness, and willingness to put the lives of others at risk.

There are those who interrupt others and do not let them speak, behaving as though they are all knowing and all seeing. Sit back and think about it. They are showing who they REALLY are. The man who claims to be from an upper class British family, putting on airs and a fake English accent ,screaming people down when he does not agree with them, and throwing temper tantrums like a bratty 2 year old. No one from a decent family would EVER behave in such a disgraceful fashion…..
Then, to continue the thought, if he is from such an amazing background ,why is it that he has returned to Britain twice in the last 30 years, and stayed in horrid B & B’s instead of with relatives having homes in Knightsbridge, Holland Park or Mayfair????
Last thought on this dreadful person, is realizing that over the years I am unable to remember ever sharing a really good laugh. That is sad.

Quiet observation of several individuals who make the most pronouncements has shown that, for the most part, they do NOT live particularly well, have not travelled, and in fact, are extremely limited in enjoying a cross section of friends and acquaintances.

Many have expressed feelings of isolation, however, the last time I checked, the telephone actually works in more than one direction. So, they are miffed because WE don’t call them, but when is the last time that THEY actually reached out??? When did they make you laugh or give you any type of pleasure to result to you smiling uncontrollably??

So, who are your friends?? More importantly, who do you still wish to keep as friends?? Unless one is extremely insecure and needs to feel that there is always an entourage, are they really friends or simply taking up your time and space, and worse, risking your life to satisfy their insecurities???

The ability to sit back and look from the outside in gives one extraordinary clarity.

Highly recommended during these uncertain times…

Being safe and careful is far more important than having selfish, uncaring people around you. It is your LIFE.

Do these individuals bring you laughter?? Joy??

Having too much time on one’s hands allows for introspection, contemplation and evaluation …..one must be able to look at oneself coldly at the same time as evaluating others. A frightening thought, but certainly the opportunity for a serious awakening.

To my amazing friend in London who suggested some of the changes to this BLOG, thank you for MANY years of joy and laughter, have an incredible birthday and wishes for many, many more.

Communication, Consideration, Impressions, Listening, Quality, Security

CovIDIOTS on the Move…..

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Try as I may, unfortunately there are certain subjects which are difficult to write in an amusing and entertaining fashion. Covid 19 is one of them.

I am astounded by the level of unconscionable arrogance and selfishness demonstrated by certain politicians and individuals which are about us.

This is NOT a joke. It is a world pandemic which has infected over 5 million people and killed over 330,000. The numbers are rising exponentially on a daily basis. People who know me well are aware that I am an ‘information junkie’ with a massive Canadian and International network of contacts, not to mention being an avid reader, easily consuming 10 magazines and books in a week when I am on a tear. There is a lot to process. Add to that a reasonable number of Medical Doctors around the world, and well, you get the picture.
The information is not amassed in an isolated fashion as I have also lived in multiple cities and countries and travelled extensively.

There are those pontificators who would have you believe everything they loudly expound, but the smart thing to do, like anything you read in public media, is to step back, and look at who they really are, how much they have travelled, and how large and diverse their networks.
In most cases, it is not so much. So, do you REALLY want to listen to them and risk your LIFE by listening to them? I think not.

Last weekend we celebrated Victoria Day in Canada, the US are celebrating Memorial Day this weekend.

Images are flooding television screens and Facebook feeds of tens of thousands of people all crammed together, no masks, no social distancing, no sense of danger, whatsoever. Just to be clear, wearing a mask is a sign of respect to yourself and others. Period.

Given the spread of microdroplets in the air, particularly in a breeze, they can spread well over 10 feet in seconds, with uncirculated air, they can linger in the air for 14 minutes after someone has spoken, coughed or sneezed.
MINUTES, not seconds, just to reiterate.

Unfortunately I actually know some of the guilty parties. People who have been out socializing in groups then getting together in private homes for cocktails.
One arrogant wag actually posted “ F it, I want to go out and see my friends and hug them….”
Her so-called loving hugs can bring someone an excrutiating death. If there ever was a time to reconsider your friends, this is it.
Clearly I will not be having anything to do with her, ever. That total lack of insensivity towards the security of others is not something I wish to experience.

We have neighbours with children who are NEVER home. They are constantly coming and going to visit with others.
Others have children riding bicycles like hooligans with crowds of others screaming and creating havoc. WHERE are their parents??? And just WHAT are they thinking??

I guess they have all conveniently forgotten why their children are not in school and they are not at their jobs……

As much as being prisoners in our own home is not something we relish, being alive and healthy and together is something we relish a LOT. We are trying to approach it with a sense of adventure and a sense of humour. From Friday Night ‘Date Night’ to working outside and getting much needed sunshine and natural Vitamin D, we are making our home look pretty. We both cook in totally different styles, so the other thing we do is pretend we are going out to dinner. Last night we went to ‘Chinatown’ for noodle soup. Yes, in our dining room, no, we did not go anywhere near a restaurant. But it was absolutely delicious.

The other thing we do is call our friends around the world to say hello. People feel loved and not so totally isolated as they self quarantine, as well as knowing they are not alone in doing the ‘right thing’.

Although there are those who avoid Social Media such as Facebook, it is an extraordinary tool to stay in touch with friends in far flung parts of the world.
They really do appreciate it when you reach out to them.

There have been some unfortunate observations, and that is the utter arrogance and selfishness of the young, and it can unfortunately be directly attributed to their parents. Many individuals grew up with extremely strict parents, and swore they would not treat their own children in that fashion. We are now living the reprecussions of them never having overly disciplined their children. Their offspring are selfish, rude, and have never experienced any type of hardship. They have been coddled and protected from anything remotely unpleasant, and repeatedly told just how ‘special’ they are, even if they are not.
The lack of manners and discipline is awful, consequently, the concept of self isolating, social distancing, and considering the safety of others before themselves is a foreign concept, and they are handling it VERY badly. When their entire lives have been about their being special, their image, their so-called fabulous lives, what to do when you are isolated at home with very bad hair, a bad complexion, and unable to take awesome selfies?? Unable to go out with their ‘posse’…!! Oh horror or horrors!!!

All of a sudden, they are confronted with the concept of being forced to consider the safety and lives of others. This is NOT an easy thing to do when you have never done it before. Putting the safety of others FIRST, being told to self-isolate, to protect the lives of others, self distance, and OH MY……wear a mask…….IN PUBLIC…..such a foreign concept…

Unfortunately as the weekend comes to a close, we hear of escalating rates of infection and death in Quebec, Ontario, throughout the US, Brazil and Mexico…..

The same weekend filled with images on beaches, protesting in huge crowds, shopping in malls, all in close proximity to one another, all with NO MASKS, and no social distancing.

Covid 19 is an equal opportunity killer. It does not care a whit about your religion, your age, your sex, your position in life….or lack thereof.

Do the right thing, wash your hands, your body, your hair, shave your face, wash your clothes, your shoes…….keep 6-10 feet from others. Leave your filthy handbag at home. Clean your mobile phone. ….If you feel remotely unwell, STAY HOME. Ask someone to check in on you by telepone. Do NOT risk the lives of others by going out due to your selfishness.

Just a thought, could you live your life knowing you were responsible for the death of your close relative or best friend??

Think about it.

Be smart.

Be Safe.

Business, Communication, Impressions, Integrity, Quality

IT’S FREE!!!!

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Most of the people I know are of above average intellect, and are more successful than the average, yet, nontheless, are drawn to aggressive advertising and often exhibit a level of naivety which is extraordinary.

Just to be clear, NOTHING is FREE.

YOU are the product.

My biggest bug a boo is DNA testing. It is being touted as super cool to find out about your family history. The Government and Insurance Companies have been trying to find a way to obtain this information forever …Information is POWER.

Yet, here you are, thinking just how COOL you are giving away your DNA, to these organizations, touting the COOLNESS of knowing your family tree.
Little tidbits are sent along, always requesting more information, please send along the name of your maternal grandfather, children, uncles, cousins…

Let me be VERY CLEAR, you have just GIVEN away your familial DNA without the express consent of ANY current and future family member.

If, for example, there are genetic illnesses in your family, such as Alzheimer’s, MS, Cancer, etc, and you are helping build a family tree, with NO ONE’s
Consent, have you not considered that members of your family could find themselves being hit with huge health and life insurance bills unknowlingly??

Some Insurance Companies are now insisting on DNA screening, others, the wearing of Fitbits, others, placing Black Boxes in your car to monitor
Your driving habits. By virtue of accepting to use one, you are also sharing your GPS being captured, so that they see EVERYWHERE you go.

“send us your Insurance application and we will look for the best rates for free’ !! are you really that guillable?? They have just shopped ALL your
Confidential information to 30 companies….WITH your consent…..

Do you STILL think it is free???

Let me repeat, YOU are the Product.

“Let us monitor your credit score””……..another one which makes my skin crawl…..

Wonder why you are being inundated with pre-approved credit card applications, financial service companies and car salesmen???

Your CONFIDENTIAL information has been SOLD, and you approved it.

“”TRY our matress for free””…

YUK ! YUK !!! YUKKK!!!

Does that mean if you do not keep it, the next poor sucker gets a used matress??

It is NOT free…… it is USED…..

“”Use OUR App to find the best Real Estate Agent in your neighbourhood””….
It is NOT free, the agents are paying to have their names there…..
SOO……are they the best, or only the ones who have paid???

“””Use OUR App to find the best Home Repair Specialist!!

See above….moreover, you have just GIVEN away your home address, and budget for home repairs….
When salesmen start knocking on your door offering their services, DO NOT be surprised…….

You GAVE away your information……

Do I have your attention yet??!!

Let me repeat, YOU are the PRODUCT!!

Looking for a mortgage??? Let US find you the best rates, just fill in OUR online application…. Listing ALL your assets and liabilities….. to a company
Offering to shop and find you the best rates…..guess what, ALL your confidential financial information is NO LONGER CONFIDENTIAL, they have
Shopped it to 30 companies who are now in possession of it. They are SELLING IT, ALL OF IT.

Just an additional thought, in that application, you listed all your possessions of value such as art and jewellery, and you GAVE THAT INFORMATION WAY.
Helloooo!!!

People are giving the government permission to take a facial scan for facial recognition, IRIS scans, fingerprints and now DNA….and you still do not think
You are being surveilled??

Does this not sound vaguely familiar…..???

The Government knows where you bank, and how you spend your money, and can close you down in an instant…..should they think you are cheating…..

YOU are the PRODUCT.

Start exercising your power and just say NO.

Business, Consideration, Impressions, Integrity, Listening, Quality, Relationships, Social Networking, Socialites

Musings and Observations of Seriously BAD Behaviour

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Bringing a seriously cheap bottle of wine to an event in someone’s home, digging in their closed cupboards to retrieve a fine vintage wine, slinking into a corner, opening the bottle and consuming it by yourself.

Yes, you did see this posted recently in the BLOG entitled ‘On being Selfish’, however, the outpouring of people calling and writing about this issue was extraordinary. Some of your examples absolutely hysterical, but at the same time, so very sad, as so many people are treating their hosts in such a greedy and callous manner.

You are absolutely welcome to share this BLOG, with the hopes that maybe one person recognizes their disgusting behaviour and changes it.

Arriving at the home of an extremely generous hostess empty handed, grazing your way through the most expensive food and drink, then having the audacity to ask the servers to prepare a plate for you to bring home.

Sneaking food home from a cocktail party. I have seen people filling endless napkins with huge Tiger Shrimp and other delectables, one rude wag actually would go into a corner and slip food into a large baggie, then go back for more. This event was NOT billed as TAKE OUT, it was in a private home, nor was it a fundraiser where the guests were expected to pay for a ticket.

Being invited to dinner then spending the entire evening texting on your phone, and not participating. If you didn’t want to come, next time, stay home.

Imposing your children on others They are simply NOT that cute or that special, and we do NOT want to hear about them or see their pictures.

Going to any Birthday Party empty handed, even if someone is hosting it for you.

Going to a Cocktail, Dinner , or Anniversary party empty handed.

Not sending a Thank You note. (see above)

Not sending flowers, or a gift to the hostess. (see above)

Aggressively asking someone for their assistance, then abruptly telling them that they are no longer required, as you have found another solution.

Telling everyone over a period of several months about your impending nuptials, claiming it will be ‘high society’, ( if YOU have to say it, then clearly it is NOT….) cheating with everything that walks on your soon to be wife, bragging endlessly to your male friends about your conquests, …some of whom told some of us…….

Sending invitations to your wedding to only some of the people to which you have been ranting endlessly over the past few months, filling the church with the guests who arrived all dressed up for this ‘fabulous’ occasion, having first sent expensive gifts to the home of the couple…..After the ceremony, the couple walked down the aisle, got into a few cars, including a couple of Rolls Royces driven by friends, and driving off into the sunset.
The guests naively thinking the wedding party was simply going to take pictures, found themselves standing around the church until they were rudely ushered out, and the church door loudly locked behind them.
Well over 100 people found themselves asking just WHAT exactly had happened, unfed, left behind, and utterly horrified. After a whle, some just wandered off, others went to a couple of restaurants for dinner, in complete and utter horror.

The wedding party, meanwhile, went to a private club for a very small, intimate dinner.

To say that my phone rang for weeks over this one, is an understatement.
NO ONE, let me repeat, NO ONE, had ever heard of, much less experienced anything as classless as this before, nor since.

Insisting on wearing your boots, shoes or whatever else footwear into a shoe free home. If you are told repeatedly NOT to wear shoes in the house, that is NOT an invitation to bring slippers or other footwear. NO shoes means NO shoes. It is the height of bad manners. If wearing your filthy footwear is more important than respecting the wishes of the hostess, please do us all a favour, and STAY home.

Going into a shop, having a shop clerk running around finding things for you to try on for over an hour, then leaving everything in a heap on the floor as if it was trash, and walking out without as much as a Thank You, or, making a purchase. That person is on commission, you just treated them worse than your personal servant, you stole an hour of their time for which they were not compensated, and worse, all the garments now look used and must be tidied and hung up.

Going to a soiree in a high end fashion store, drinking copious quantities of alcohol, eating everything in sight, taking endless selfies with both expensive merchandise and guests who are utterly unaware they are being photographed, and not purchasing a thing.
YES….they DID see you, and YES, they are talking about it…….guess how I found out about it!!!!!

Telling someone , “ we MUST do lunch repeatedly, I miss you SO MUCH….” Then never calling……

Walking up to a celebrity at a Fund Raiser, interrupting them, foisting your business card into their hand, and loudly exclaiming so that half the room hear you speaking…….”I would LOVE to get together with you for lunch……You MUST call me…….”…..pretending to be their best friend, when they DO NOT HAVE the SLIGHTEST CLUE who you are, nor, are they remotely interested in finding out. Their horrified facial expression just told it all……and YES, we saw it all……..

Turning upn at a fancy ball in a low cut, flouncy chiffon dress and carrying on like you are the Belle of the Ball. PLEASE take a serious look at yourself in the mirror. PLEASE repeat. …. Maybe, once more, just to be sure……

You are NOT a 16 year old, 100 pound anorexic model, nor are you a rock star. Exposing it ALL is just plain VULGAR.

Going to the aforementioned Ball, walking up to total strangers, interrupting their conversation mid sentence, and ingratiating yourself into their group. They do NOT know who you are, and after your incredibly rude pushy behaviour, have no interest whatsoever in finding out who you are.

Paying a PR to organize a reception in your Store – Art Gallery…..then spending the evening fussing over the shiny new faces you have never seen before and totally ignoring those individuals who have been paying your bills for years….. You DO realize that we have an abundance of choices of where to shop, do you not???

Fussing over the pretentious millenial who has 10 handbags spread all over the counter which she is photographing, and totally ignoring the quiet discreet individual who is actually dressed in high end designer clothes…..if someone is wearing a huge diamond ring, a large Vuitton purse, Hermes shoes, scarf and belt, they can probably afford to buy something else……..do you REALLY think the 20 year old has the cash?? Attitude is NOT cash.

Posting rude, beligerent comments on the Facebook pages of strangers just because you do not agree with them. You DO realize that you can be found, do you not???

…..and then there are the Drama Queens……..why is it that some people just will NOT stop posting and carrying on endlessly whenever there is some incident in their lives?? Are we supposed to run to your side to support you in your milisecond of need?? Give you money?? Take you out for dinner to console you??? Pity you??? … For a few, the feelings towards them has now run to utter disgust. Reposting endlessly on the anniversary of your mother’s death, her birthday, your dead friend, sending emails and sharing them with your friends to share so that your ‘sorrow’ is amplified a thousand times?? Stressing how we MUST all get together to support poor, sad you??

Seriously???!!!

What about the rest of us ??? We have ALL experienced loss, some of us have lived through absolutely horrific life events, yet, nary a call.
But then, we were elegant, quiet, discreet. We did not tell anyone, We did not post and repost and amplify, tweet or whine.

Walking into a grocery store with large reusable bags, filling them in the trolley, then arriving at the cash and paying for just a few items.
This new, absolutely INSANE trend of forcing us to bring our own bags in order to shop has generated a level of theft which has exploded.
People, we are ALL PAYING for this.
Some of us have brought it to the attention of store managers, but it is now so extreme that it is an epidemic. PLEASE do something …the cost of YOUR groceries will double if you do not.

Making a big deal about inviting someone to lunch to celebrate their birthday. Ordering cocktails and endless dishes that ‘you MUST try,” making absolutely sure that EVERYONE in the restaurant hears and sees you carrying on, then sticking the birthday boy with the total bill for several hundred dollars, who, just to be totally clear, ordered ONE plate of food and NO alcohol.

Truly, real life is more outrageous than make believe………

Communication, Consideration, Impressions, Integrity, Listening, Quality

On Being selfish

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We have all met them, it could be a friend, family member, work associate, but it is ALWAYS about them. Their image, their birthday, their finances, their needs. But what happened to the rest of us??

Manners are considered to be the social grease. Perhaps not the most elegant choice of words, however, having good manners at the very base, is having consideration for others. 

Not doing to others what one does not wish to have done to oneself.

Selfishness rears its ugly head in a myriad of ways, it can be cloaked in jealousy, arrogance, or just the total lack of empathy or consideration of others.

From those who post endlessly on Facebook, and want us to ‘like’ and ‘share’ their beliefs, events, and successes, but would never consider doing the same for others.

Those who only promote or help those who they think can advance their own cause. 

Those who argue their beliefs but are utterly unwilling to allow that others may have a totally different opinion. Our life experiences are all different,  the best part about meeting and conversing with people is that one can actually learn, and sometimes from the most unlikely people. 

Not responding to an RSVP in a timely and considerate way, waiting until the last  possible moment in case something better turns up, but ignoring the fact that the person extending the invitation has to plan and purchase food and drink accordingly, as well as planning for the number of wait staff if it is a large event.

Turning up at an event with an unexpected guest or guests, and not warning the host prior to your arrival, forcing them to scramble trying to set extra places at the table, and figure out just HOW to extend the allocated food to feed the extra mouths, given the meal was planned for a lesser number of guests.

Not sharing information in a business setting in order to appear more important than they are. This works for a while, but inevitably backfires, as once people catch on, they will actually cease inviting the hoarder to meetings. 

Not considering that other people actually have feelings, and your words are harsh and hurtful.

Always turining up at a Dinner Table or Cocktail party empty handed, regardless the event. Have you ever considered just how much work it is to entertain, and just how much it costs??

Expecting fabulous gifts for your birthday, wedding, Christmas……and receiving amazing thoughtful gifts, but never reciprocating?? Regardless of whether it is your family or best friend, it is simply arrogant and rude.  Just like you love the excitement of unwrapping an amazing gift or gifts, so do they.

Please do not insult our intelligence by stating that you did not have time or that money is tight, but then sit and talk about all the posh restaurants and bars you have visited, the new shoes and purse, trip, car… you just purchased, the fun events you have been to, as you chow down on our food and drink. You knew about the event well in advance and had ample time to arrange something. If you are really that clueless about what to purchase for someone, PICK UP THE PHONE and ask someone.

I had one friend who actually was generous, however her constant borrowing of money and complaining about being broke at the same time as showing off another $4000 handbag or another trip to Europe simply became too much. Just making a feeble attempt to pay back SOMETHING would have been an amazing gesture, but it never came. 

People wanting your professional advice in business, yet always telling you that they can’t provide any assistance for whatever reason  when you need something in return…..hellooo??

People in Vintage and Antique stores selling you something and exclaiming how fabulous it is until you have paid for it, but if, heaven forbid, you wish to sell it at a later date telling you that it is worthless after they have insulted it for 5 minutes….

Can you really hear yourself??  And WHY on earth would I EVER buy from you again??   

We live in interesting times. 

A little consideration and generosity goes a long way.

We DO remember.

Consideration, Quality, Socialites

FUNERAL CHASERS

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This is one of those ‘glass half full, glass half empty” discussions.

Over the last year, at least one friend of mine has died every month, some months there were 3. We can embark on a discussion of incredible loss, at the same time as celebrating extraordinary friendships from across the globe.

Obviously attending all the funerals was impossible, both from a time and expense point of view, not to mention, the unfortunate host of the event will never actually know that you were in attendance.

Celebrations of life being for the living who remain, not the deceased.
Which brings me to the point of this BLOG.

As a student of human behaviour, in all it’s bizarre incarnations, one which disturbs me the most is people who go to funerals for all the wrong reasons, often claiming a level of friendship with the deceased which lives only in their imaginations, as in some cases, they were absolutely despised by the deceased, or virtually unknown.

Some are there because they genuinely cared about the host, others, morbid curiosity, some because frankly they have little else to do, others to be seen and heard, and let everyone know they are there, some to network, some to seek a new husband, others to consume vast quantities of free food and drink, and surreptitiously, they think, take more home for later. Some by necessity, for societal or family reasons. Then, we reach the most sad reason of all, which is those seeking human companionship, as they have successfully alienated everyone who ever befriended them. At the funeral of one prominent businessman and inveterate host, several attendees who are no longer invited anywhere due to their profound unpleasantness were there, proclaiming their closeness to the deceased. Obviously he was in no position to proclaim the exact opposite.

Then there are the serious social climbers, strutting around introducing themselves to those they deem to be important, posing for photographs to let the world know of their perceived importance. One ruthless social climber appeared wearing a large hat, strutting around waving in order to be seen. So inappropriate, so incredibly vulgar. At the same funeral, one equally grotesquely inappropriate man sat in the front row, preening, speaking loudly, turning around and waving at people in attendance to let the world see his popularity. Once the service was over, he rushed to introduce himself to the attending celebrities, speaking loudly to ensure those present witnessed his conversation. It was frankly embarrassing.

There was a clique of old, badly dressed women in attendance, sitting on the sidelines, commenting non stop throughout the service on the various guests in attendance, then afterwards, devouring the drink and food as if they had not eaten in months. Gate crashers???

To say some of the behaviour I have seen is disgraceful, is an understatement. It is a sign of complete and utter disrespect to those grieving.

Seeking a husband or to improve one’s social standing at a funeral is despicable.

Some celebrations of a life well lived are truly that, a party, a celebration, others are morbid and depressing.

These days more and more people plan their own funerals and receptions to hopefully eliminate these shameless actions, but unfortunately there are no guarantees to ensure respectful behaviour. Do we have to consider putting gate-keepers at funeral receptions to ensure that only the invited guests are in attendance??

This has been a year of incredible loss, but at the same time one of celebration.
I have been amazingly fortunate to be friends with some extraordinary people who are, unfortunately, no longer with us.

Thank you all for being my friend, and a huge part of my life. You will be severely missed.

Business, Job Hunting, Quality

A Crisis of Early Retirements Unfolding…..

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Over the last 5 years there has been a silent crisis emerging which is going to seriously effect the future of the High-End IT Community.

Companies are increasingly driven by quarter end results, and many senior executives rarely stay in their seats long enough to consider 2 year plans, much less 5 year plans, so if they have no plans for the future of the companies they are managing, how can their employees possibly envision a future within these same corporations?

Add fuel to this fire with a tendency to do layoffs after 2 bad quarters, and a frightening trend emerges. Furthermore, companies have given an insane amount of power to Human Resources over the last few years, and are allowing twenty-somethings the authority to decide with whom the company does business and who they hire through selective choices. Several Senior Sales Executives have not only resigned, but totally left the industry after being told by some 24 year old with absolutely NO knowledge of the industry and its vagaries, that they are not authorized to use 3rd parties for hiring.

One of my favourite clients comes to mind. A $50 million sales quota, and the inability to source suitable sales resources to fill the numerous positions in Sales and Systems Engineering. An inordinate amount of time spent interviewing totally incompetent candidates sourced by HR in the US, met with numerous requests to use local Search Firms being denied. Montreal is a unique market with 2 languages and 2 cultures. It is impossible for someone in the US to possibly understand this issue. The end result?? One of the most professional, successful Sales Executives I have ever met, took early retirement. He QUIT. PERIOD.

He no longer works. PERIOD.

He felt the stress was overwhelming based upon the demands of the job and his utter lack of support within the Corporation. We are talking about a huge, multi-billion dollar corporation which could seriously afford to use outside assistance, but he was NOT ALLOWED.

Today, he skiis, rides his bike, tends his garden. He sold everything in the city and left.
He retired over 10 years earlier than planned.
This man is seriously connected internationally, the Presidents of many Fortune 100 companies would gladly take his call. He is a joy. He is one of the most motivating executives I have met and worked with. Humble, an extraordinary energy coupled with a sense of humour, and the willingness to take a chance on imagination and drive. He has made the careers of dozens of individuals.
We have LOST him. He is no longer working within our industry.

He alone creates an enormous vacuum in our community, and unfortunately is but one of the dozens of these highly creative, highly connected individuals who have taken their contacts and their imaginations and walked away from an industry which is increasingly having problems sourcing these types of individuals.

It has become a thankless, ruthless industry, dominated by arrogant, incompetent, dishonest people who only seek to line their own pockets with a total regard for the companies which employ them, as well as their employees.

I spoke with another Senior Sales Executive who retired 2 months ago, his comment was that he was downsizing his home and his life to accommodate a very early, unplanned retirement, around 10 years earlier than planned. Why, I asked??

His answer, the level of fraud in the industry has become so commonplace that middle managers are asking out loud what you will give them in exchange for their business.. It is ‘In your face” , blatant fraud. It is not hidden, not discreet, it is simply out there for the world to see.

We hear of individuals in purchasing departments in the IT industry choosing ‘preferred vendors’ based upon what they will receive as compensation. No compensation, no business.

A lovely gentleman I interviewed a couple of years ago, was a Senior VP in a large Consulting Firm, earning a very substantial income. I inquired as to why he was so actively seeking employment, he was certainly employed. He advised me that he was resigning the day he received his commission cheque for the contract he was currently negotiating on behalf of his employer. His comments to me?? I will NOT go to jail for this company.

That was certainly an eye opener.

He was absolutely horrified at the arrangements being negotiated with individuals in the purchasing department of a publicly traded company. We are talking millions of dollars, many, many millions of dollars.
This contract was being drawn up with 2 large companies to provide all resources for a period of 5 years exclusively. PERIOD. No possibility of any other firms selling services unless they passed through one of the 2 ‘preferred vendors’, ostensibly to cut down on the huge number of suppliers and invoices.

Sounds good??!! I find it extraordinary that no one questioned this .

What is being taken out of this equation, is that ALL THE FIRMS being excluded, are potential CUSTOMERS of this firm. An interesting perspective. No one is looking.

Yes, a huge, public company with shareholders, you could be one of them.
Yes, they have a legal responsibility to shareholders.
BUT, and here it is, NO ONE is watching.

The Senior Executives in this corporation are oblivious as to what is going on inside the companies they are supposed to be managing. They are scrambling to meet their quarterly reports, and focused on their end of year bonus’.
The lunatics are truly running the asylum.

From Senior Vice Presidents in Banks to Sales Organizations, to Service Providers, we are losing some of the brightest and the best, and all of them leaving within 5-10 years earlier than planned. This is happening everywhere, I am speaking with executives across North America, and am hearing the same words, almost verbatim.

We are losing knowledge. We are losing energy. We are losing drive, contacts, history. we are losing it all.

Multiply this behaviour and see an absolutely terrifying trend emerging.

What will we have left??!