Recently there seems to be a preponderance of articles in various magazines describing school yard bullies and the devastating effects they can have on the recipients of their mis-deeds, with an increase of teen suicide. It has escalated to such an extent that it is finally being documented, schools are finally becoming more aware and taking steps to limit it, and recognize the extreme damage that can be inflicted by these bullies.
What is not, however, being spoken about, is that these girls continue on in life to adults, and continue to be bullies, which is why we also hear of a level of competitiveness beyond compare. These women aspire to be the most popular, most pretty, and are absolutely vicious social climbers who will stop at nothing to attain the position of ‘top dog’ within their group. The big question in my mind, is that once they have clawed and scratched their way through life to attain whatever perceived social position they are grappling for, then what???!
In life, there is always someone more popular, prettier, smarter, with a better husband, better husband, better homes, better clothes, better trips, more popular children, more money, more and better everything. In fact, there is nothing that will ever make them happy, because they are always trying to attain the next level…..of what, it is frankly not all that clear.
They snipe at people for sport, criticize people they barely know, and are cruel for sport, insults to them are second nature. Sometimes they can appear to mask their insecurities as humour and can be wildly entertaining – stories of their lives and exploits described in a such a manner that they can keep a group of people spell bound as they describe their latest trip or event.
Kindness is a tool only bestowed upon those who appear to have something to offer.
Everything in their existence has to be bigger, better, more special. They have to be ‘seen’ at only the best restaurants, and they insist on having the ‘best’ tables, they have to go to the best social events where they can rub shoulders with only the ‘best’ of society, only the best hairdressers and manicurists will do, for them the idea of going to a cheap corner store is not even contemplated.
Their groceries can only come from the ‘best’ shops, clothes , shoes, bags, hair styles and colours, jewellery are carefully researched to ensure that they only have the best names and are on top of the newest trend. Not for them being ‘seen’ in anything or anywhere which they perceive could damage their social image.
Why do they inflict such cruelty on their victims? It is a sense of empowerment, which only they think gives them the ultimate power over others, and elevates them to being Queen’s. The damage they inflict however can have dangerous results to their victims, from anorexia, cutting, suicide, depression, weight gain and a multitude of other dysfunctions. The victims are not always in a position to be able to withdraw from or ignore the bullying, or are simply not emotionally strong enough to recognize it.
It is only when these ‘mean girls’ are called what they really are by their peers that this problem can be rectified. Cruelness is never justified.