Business, Impressions, Integrity, Social Networking

Lying in the Electronic Age

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Lies, Lies, Lies
There have always been a variety of types of lies, some cone from a kind and gentle  place, others are motivated by deception, greed, or from psychopaths who simply can’t tell the difference! No morality whatsoever from the liar makes it difficult for the rest of us to differentiate.
Some lies can be for self-aggrandisement, and we all know these people. Bragging endlessly about their fabulous lives and name dropping to enhance their image or perceived self importance.
The down side is that there is no consideration of the potential consequences.
The motivation can be simple or extraordinarily convoluted.
There are kind ‘white lies’ which are meant to spare the feelings of the recipient. If someone asks how something looks, telling them they look cheap, hideous, or fat will not do much to enhance the relationship. Likewise the age old ‘do I look fat in this” well, you just KNOW that you don’t want to tell the truth. It would be unkind and could result in disaster unless the person asking is secure and mature enough to handle the answer. Usually not.
There are lies of omission, to cover up incompetence, lies of one’s whereabouts, lies about one’s wealth, or lack thereof, lies regarding friends, trips, jobs, hobbies, finances, some are insignificant, and  sometimes the response can also be justified if the person asking the questions is inappropriate and rude.
In the electronic age it is even easier than ever to lie, as usually there are no witnesses to see the red flushed face, the downwards glance, the averted eyes, the twitch, the head touch, or whatever the tell. An inanimate screen can’t tell the truth from the lies.
Resumes are enhanced well beyond reality, education, titles and experience manufactured which bear no similarity to reality.
Some lies are exceptionally cruel, spreading false rumours can ruin reputations and careers, often out of sheer jealousy.
Then there is deception or misrepresentation which causes people to believe something which is not true.
Betrayal is another vicious lie. Throwing someone ‘under the bus’ to protect oneself is disgusting, and frightfully dishonest.
Plagiarism or copying someone’s works, be it music, literature, term papers, inventions and calling it one’s own.
Compulsive liars can emerge from a variety of sources. Some have extremely low self esteem and are seeking attention, others have been lying so long they no longer can tell the difference.
There are broken promises, which are a failure to honour a promise or commitment, where there was never any intention to do so. The most common of those being someone saying ‘lets get together for lunch’, or ‘I’ll call you next week’, or,  “ I”m on the phone, I’ll call you right back”, ‘please lend me the money, I will return it tomorrow’…….why say it if you have no intention of delivering?? These are hurtful lies, which other than making the person saying them feel better about themselves, actually hurt the recipient as they create a false expectation.
Fabrication is the lie of claiming a knowledge about something of which you know absolutely nothing.
Bold-faced lies are evil, everyone knows they are absolute lies and they insult the intelligence of the recipient.
There is an old expression, ‘on the internet no one knows you are a dog pretending to be a dog’ , and unfortunately on the internet, it is truer than ever, and really not as funny as it was.
Some businesses have extraordinary web presences, splashy web-sites proclaiming fabulous offices and business competencies. One individual starts a new company every January which he bankrupts every December. This has been going on for 30 years. He re-opens with a slightly different name, with virtually the same logo, but the differences are indiscernible unless you are seriously paying attention. Being an information junkie, we have his ads going back over 30 years, printed, so that it is possible to put them side by side and see the subtle changes.
He proclaims international experience, lavish offices and a vast partnership of senior executives. The truth is, he is living with his mother in law just over the border of Ontario with NO office, having escaped Quebec due to the vast number of bailiffs chasing after him.
His web site is gorgeous, it is meticulously detailed outlining his huge business acumen, however, the truth is far from what the web site portrays.
Just because a company has a fabulous web presence, does not ensure that there is anything behind it. We see many companies with extravagant web sites making claims of successes, but in fact they have $50 per month identity plans in shared offices. The addresses may be impressive, but the reality is not.
Unfortunately, like many things, it is ‘buyer beware’. Just reading the label is not enough.
Then, of course, is my favourite,  LINKEDIN. To say that people lie on that site is the understatement of the year.
We found one small local company where 6 of the 10 employees have the IDENTICAL resume, the most shocking fact is that the President also shares the same one!!! The other employees comprise a secretary, bookkeeper and sales staff.     So, if the President is complicit in this fraudulent practice, how on earth can you trust anything that anyone in this company does or says??
They claim to be Microsoft, Citrix experts……..but I would be terrified of using them.
Another small R & D company with 14 employees shows 10 with identical resumes, all claiming to be SCRUM MASTERS. Again, 10 with the IDENTICAL resume.How is that possible??
We see fabricated education, titles which were never held, jobs where the candidate was fired disappearing completely from resumes, one fellow went so far as to speak of his incredible successes in a job he had held for a mere 3 days!!  He single handedly put together a team of Enterprise Architects and delivered sensational results………..in 3 days??
There seems to be an expectation that these ‘enhancements’ be tolerated, however when someone looks you in the eye and insists that the details are true, without flinching, it is absolutely terrifying to think what else they could lie about. Lying  for some has become an art form.
A couple of years ago I re-interviewed a gentleman who I had previously interviewed on 2 separate occasions. He miraculously had a shiny new MBA on his resume, and the dates and titles did not line up. Titles and dates had morphed, likewise successes.  He lied to my face repeatedly, and was confronted repeatedly. He insisted. I persisted. Finally I took out the 2 previous resumes and showed them to him. The interview ended abruptly.
Personally, having to keep track of lies is way too much work!! I am much too lazy for that!!
We estimate that 60%, yes, indeed, 60% of the resumes posted on LINKEDIN are fraudulent. Unfortunately most of the people doing the first interview do not have the experience or maturity to catch these lies.
As we only work through word of mouth, we have references on the individuals we meet before we meet them, and we do additional personal references afterwards, sometimes as many as 5 if there is any doubt at all.
Dating sites, well I have heard so many horror stories and misrepresentations about these sites it is incredible. One woman actually posted someone else’s photograph. Two men who both know each other were at a party and people were talking about their dating stories. They both met the same woman at different times, only to discover the tall slim blonde was a shorter brunette. She claimed to be a University Professor, and her excuse was that she didn’t want her students to see her photo on the site. This is complete and utter fraud.
So, each of these men took time to go downtown to meet her, paid for gas, parking, cocktails, lost the time,  to meet someone who was not even remotely what they expected.
Co-incidenttally, both men were at the same dinner party discussing their dating disasters, and her name and profile came up. So, everyone at the party heard about this woman’s lies, and learnt her name. Incredibly embarrassing, but very entertaining for the rest of us.
We hear of men posting photographs of themselves from 20 years earlier, women claiming to own huge successful businesses who are seeking a man to pay their rent, it is endless.
The other big lie is Real Estate agents. There are some who spend tens of thousands of dollars advertising themselves in every print form imaginable. Every newspaper, web site, magazine shows their mugs smiling their fake smiles, proclaiming their successes. The give-away is that they hop from agency to agency as they do not actually sell anything, and end up scrapping with the other agents.
One local woman is so unpleasant no will buy from her, but she has become a listing agent due to her endless advertising. She snaps up listings from unsuspecting people who see her face everywhere thinking that she must be incredible. She is. Rude, vulgar and dishonest.
Unfortunately there are many of them out there, it is absolutely mandatory to do research BEFORE signing the listing agreement, otherwise you might find yourself with a house on the market for over a year with no visits whatsoever. The longer it is on the market, the more questionable it is to potential buyers. The market jargon is that the house listing is ‘burned’.
The online presence of many of these agents suggests something far different than the truth. Once again, you can’t believe everything you read.
It is not hard to find a PR company who will enhance your web presence and your web appeal.
Increasingly, many executives, musicians, movie people and others pay a fortune to have an exquisite web presence. For someone in the industry, we know that they embed keywords so that the names of these individuals always turn up in searches.
Their smiling faces and supposed successes are repeated over and over, the poor unsuspecting reader thinking that because it is on line it must be the truth. Unfortunately  it usually is not.
The sad irony is that many highly successful companies and individuals who are highly discreet are overlooked as they refuse to participate in the hype.
Lastly, FACEBOOK. How many people do we all know who have hundreds of FACEBOOK friends but no real friends?? Once again, they have manufactured an image of themselves which is fictitious  but extraordinarily appealing.
One local woman has literally hundreds of friends on Facebook. I actually confronted her one day about it, and inquired where she had met a couple of people she claims are her friends. It did not make any sense to me that they knew one another.   They DON”T.     Whenever she hears a name of someone she thinks is socially important, she immediately sends them a request to be friends, and many people simply accept.  They have never met, probably never will, and would walk by each other on the street.
Apparently this is commonplace, however I find it extremely sad.
Just think how pathetic this appears to the people who are really friends with these individuals, when they inquire where they met so and so, and are told that they don’t know each other. Oops.!!!
So, be careful out there. You could be talking to a dog pretending to be a dog, or worst, you could hire one!!!
Business, Consideration, Impressions, Job Hunting

Millennials and The Job Market

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We hear endlessly how the baby boomers are holding on to their jobs longer and longer and depriving the Millennials from employment opportunities.
This, of course, is utter nonsense. The baby boomers have a business knowledge which no 30 old can even comprehend.

You only have to go to any mall and see the infinite number of ‘help wanted’ signs in their windows, as well as the complaints from small business owners that no one wants to start at the bottom anymore.

Ask most baby boomers how they got their start and you will hear about people holding down 2 – 3 crappy jobs while going to University at night to get a degree. I am one of those.
Did most of us have a career plan ? For the most part, we didn’t even know what that was. Did we have a plan? Some people had a ‘life’ plan, but beyond that, most people had absolutely no idea what they wanted to do in life. However, by working in numerous industries, at one point something jumps out. Many of us continue to work nights and weekends to service clients. The business world does not shut down after 5 pm.

Some of the complaints we hear are due to sheer laziness, others do have merit.
Companies no longer hire dozens of students straight out of University and train them like they did in the past.It is costly, time consuming, and today’s youth do not exhibit the loyalty traits of the past.

But, how is it that the children of first generation immigrants find jobs, buy homes and drive nice cars?? Simple. Because they will do ANYTHING to earn money. No job is too menial, they will hold down 2-3 awful jobs to finance their education and they save, save, save. They don’t expect to wear designer clothes and drink expensive coffees. They often wear hand-me-downs and bring food from home. Some of the stories I have heard over the years about what people went through to come to Canada are extraordinary. From prison camps to just about everything in between. I know many Vietnamese boat people.
These people work hard and NEVER complain. Being in Canada is everything to them.

So, some words of advice in your job hunt:

If you score a job interview,

don’t expect instant gratification. You cannot expect to graduate with no work experience and earn $60,000 or more, furthermore, you are not the only applicant.
* Nothing is worse than interviewing someone who thinks they are too good for the job. You have to START somewhere.

* Your Mother may think you are beautiful, brilliant and special, the rest of us think you are arrogant, self centered and lazy.

* Up-talking and interrupting the interviewer is a guaranteed way to ensure you are NOT hired.

* You have no business experience, yet you sit in the interview voicing opinions on how YOU think the Company could be run better. Really???!!

* If you are even remotely serious about your career, DO NOT tell me about your children or plans to have 5 of them.

* I do NOT care if you think you are green. You are not.

* Having absolutely NO experience of any kind on your resume whether volunteering, or anything else, tells us are extremely lazy and not even remotely ambitious.

* If you turn up for a meeting and are not well dressed, your hair is uncombed or greasy, your hands and nails are dirty, your shoes are unpolished, clothes are not washed or ironed, you do
Not shake hands, do not wait for permission to sit down, do not establish eye contact with the interviewer, and speak to them as if they are stupid, it is over before it has started.

* do NOT tell us how your last boss was stupid. Maybe he was by hiring you.

* If there are no super jobs where you live, don’t complain, MOVE, many of us did.

* Don’t sit in my office and tell me how jealous you are that I get to work in splendid surroundings. I worked 70-90 hour weeks for many years, and continue to do so.

* Just because you actually turned up for the interview does not ensure you will get the job.

* no one cares how busy you are, be on time, or just slightly early. That does NOT mean one hour early. That is rude.

* Playing with your mobile phone, or answering calls during the interview, as if your phone is more important, tells the rest of us you are not even remotely interested, or remotely polite.

* The inability to ask questions regarding either the job, the company or the interviewer does not inspire confidence.

* Telling the interviewer about your vacation plans will ensure that you will be permanently on vacation.

* Do not post a fake resume or fake University degree. Most of us can see past it, and do not want to employ frauds.

* Many companies want to ‘try and buy’ be open to trying a new approach.

* Unless you have a PhD in Astrophysics and speak 5 languages, be realistic about your employment options and salary requirements.

* Don’t tell me you are in a hurry, you are important or you are busy. I will gladly hurry you OUT.

* Do NOT name drop. EVER. I don’t care how important you think you are or who you may have seen from a distance. Unless you are interviewing for a Senior Marketing Role or that of a
Government Lobbyist, it is of no interest whatsoever.
A Variety of part-time jobs, spoken languages, travel, University Degrees, and even a PhD are wonderful. Add to that a willingness to travel and learn, and take whatever is thrown at you, will
Guarantee success. Also, remember it is a big world out there with a lot of competition. The world does not stop doing business after 5 pm. Nor does your work day.

If you don’t want Companies to take advantage of you, don’t try and take advantage of them. Salaries, benefits and perks must be earned.
There are endless opportunities out there, it is a big world. Open your eyes, consider the options, EVERYWHERE, and go for it.
You might be surprised.

Business, Impressions, Integrity, Job Hunting, Quality

Hiring in the New World!

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Due to the nature of our business, everyday someone calls me and complains about the lack of courtesy shown by large corporations towards potential employees.
People send resumes through job sites and never ever hear anything from the company again.

The problem with this, is that often these are the same companies selling to the very people they are ignoring. Whether a financial institution, clothing retailer or grocery chain, the lack of response can often result in the individual taking their business elsewhere, and telling their friends, which results in hundreds of thousands of dollars of lost revenue, simply because no one considered following up with a response.

The rhetoric that there are too many candidates and not enough time is not valid. A simple, polite form letter is at least a beginning.

Some large corporations have such outrageous hiring practices that they have rendered themselves impenetrable, the employees hiding behind their ludicrous policies in some cases are arrogant beyond belief, on one hand publicly decrying the difficulty in recruiting new talent while all the while putting up huge barriers. Massive arrogant, unimaginative HR departments who hide behind policies and voicemail. The instigators hiding behind meetings, outrageous rules, systematically blocking out new ideas and small creative companies who could bring them the imagination required to help compete in a fast paced global economy.

Having only ‘preferred vendors’ who meet ridiculous criteria, often set out by the vendors themselves to limit the entry of new players onto the field. Smaller players who are creative and have a different approach are not even reviewed, which is outrageous. Many use software packages to receive and filter resumes based on ‘key words’, but that eliminates all those who did not know what the critical ‘key word’ was. Someone may have extraordinary experience and imagination, but as they are missing 2-3 keywords on a resume, they are overlooked.
This is people being evaluated, not widgets. Understandably, if it is a technical widget which must be exact to the millimeter, that is one thing, but humans with varied knowledge, educations, experience and life history cannot be evaluated this way. Using software to go through resumes is insanity. Part-time employment, awards, international travel or experience, a variety of spoken languages, hobbies are not evaluated. The ability to learn is not. Like many things, if you have experience in a variety of industries, learning a new one is not a big stretch. Someone who has worked in complicated manufacturing can easily understand banking or retail, it is simply a matter of learning a new vocabulary and applying the ability to learn.

The other problem with these huge HR departments is that recruiters are trying to work cross industry. A 24 year old clerk with no business industry experience is simply not qualified to interview engineers, accountants, lawyers and IT professionals. Each of these specialties seek different skill sets, and only someone from the industry can understand the differences.
The example I have been using of late is the new replacement of the Champlain Bridge. There will be a requirement for a multitude of engineers, Structural Engineers, Seismic Engineers, Oceanic Engineers, Engineers specialized in Cement, Steel, Load Bearing and Balancing, and more. These people MUST be interviewed by their peers, not a 24 year old with no experience in the industry.

We need to put the hiring back in the hands of the Managers, so potential candidates can be evaluated and hired by their peers. Likewise doing references, as HR or a background checking company will NEVER get the type of references someone will acquire by going through the back door. The best references are NOT official. They are off the record.

Creative, competent, motivated people are the key to a successful company.

Proper hiring can be time consuming, expensive, but can make or break a company’s success. The knowledge base of every company walks out the door at night, and hopefully returns the next day. Without the people, there is no company. People need to be hired and managed with respect and decency, not treated with contempt.

Preferred vendors, price wars on recruiters and consulting firms, job boards, on-line job boards are not the best way to seek out the brightest and the best, they are the way to seek the mediocre, and the job hoppers. The best people are usually not seeking employment and need to be sought out and wooed. They must NOT be treated like a commodity.

Then comes the rhetoric on salary scales. Once again the so called research by HR and specialized firms does not take into account all the possibilities for compensation, as well as the fact that not everyone is motivated by same thing. The one of a kind skill must be compensated as such, and not put into the category of people with ‘x’ years of experience and a specific education.

Currently there is a huge demand for people with ANALYTICS experience, and we actually have interviewed many people with those skills. Someone with NO university education and 20 years of IT experience in 3 companies is NOT the same as someone with a PhD in Physics and Mathematics with 10 years of experience working with advanced technology and having been educated in 3 countries at the best universities in the world, speaking 3 languages and extensive experience developing algorithms to solve a variety of problems.

Trying to suggest that the PhD only has a few years of experience and planning to compensate him based upon years of experience is ludicrous and frankly insulting. The company with the imagination to pay him the REAL market value for his skills will hire a genius, and there are companies out there who will do just that. New York and California corporations are hiring these individuals for $500,000 plus incentives. Offering them $90,000 is simply insulting and ignorant, and will ensure that they will stay for a short while and then be gone, the knowledge along with them.
Our Company is a small independent Consultancy working with Fortune 100 and 1000 clients internationally, as well as funky start-ups. Salary scales range from $100 – 500,000. We meet people from all over the world with extraordinary backgrounds and life experiences, which give them a view on the world and best practices from afar.
For example, we are currently working with one individual with extensive experience in Banking and Mobile applications to seek a position within a Financial Institution in Hong Kong. He is not Asian.

Often we find ourselves seeking individuals with ‘tough skills’. These are people who are highly valued and can bring enormous success to the right company. Why would we want to put them in a corporation obsessed with salary scales based on ridiculous criteria like age and number of years of experience?? A company which does not value imagination or a cross section of types of experience will only seek to pigeonhole people and the bright ones will not thrive, they will leave.

Companies need to recognize that 10 people with 5 years of experience and a Bachelor’s degree are not great criteria for establishing worth.
Have they travelled? Worked abroad? Speak other languages? Held part-time employment? Have super hobbies?
Someone who has worked in a small start-up where people worked on average 50-60 hours a week and had to get involved in just about everything imaginable in order for the company to survive, is not the same as someone who worked 35 hours a week in a huge corporation on one system. So how can a large company even begin to suggest that they should be paid the same?

Whether seeking individuals for permanent or Consulting mandates, all the above criteria MUST be evaluated.

Huge multi-national Consultancies are putting very junior associates on assignments for exorbitant hourly rates into companies to give advice which is frightening. Knowing how to ask questions and write a massive report but having absolutely NO industry experience is not a guarantee for success.

A much smaller more nimble firm will have the freedom to seek out the expert with industry experience who may not be the best at writing comprehensive pretty reports, but will certainly understand the issues and can formulate ideas which make sense in the global marketplace of today, and for a fraction of the cost.

How do you want to write your legacy?? Genius like Steve Jobs who totally thought outside the box and hired some of the brightest people imaginable with totally different skill sets, and paid them a fortune, or someone who hid in their office and followed the rules??

Up to you.

Business, Consideration

Customer Satisfaction

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We live in an incredibly fast changing global world, many of the old rules no longer apply, however, many Fortune 100 Companies are exhibiting behaviour which defies logic.

Recently one huge multi-national announced they were removing all land lines from their offices as the under 30 never answer their phones, as well as removing voice-mail. Now one must communicate with them by email.

Clearly I am at a loss with this decision. So, if you wish to call this company, there is absolutely no way to call and find out who does what or how to reach them. The excuse is that they can be reached by email…..but WHO do you reach and how do you find them????
Are we expected to be perpetually on-line??
What happened to real people speaking to real people??
What if it is not a generic question??

Perhaps a more logical and intelligent move would be to teach phone etiquette to these arrogant people who do not think their phones are important enough to be answered. After all, unless I am mistaken, when one works for a company it is to provide a SERVICE……….

We continue to see companies outsourcing call centers to India, Puerto Rico, Mexico and various other countries claiming that it is more efficient…….for whom exactly???
Usually the poor caller finds themselves on hold for 20 minutes before being answered by someone with a thick accent reading from a script, and absolutely no technical competence whatsoever with the product. I have spoken about this before, but the practice continues……..and everyone complains…….
My personal solution??? Do not do business with this corporations, and in our case, we no longer refer them to our clients……
If my call and my time are of absolutely no value to these companies, why on earth should I give them my cash or my endorsement?

Without a doubt, the most incredible customer service continues to be from Apple, humans answer the phone, and spend the necessary time to resolve the problem in a clear and pleasant manner. Wow!! A recent visit to an Apple store about my new mini iPad resulted in 2 staff and a service call lasting 20 minutes, and the problem solved amidst much laughter. It was wonderful!

Then there is the huge retailer who doesn’t make any of their clothes larger than a size 10-12, or footwear in larger than a size 9. They are complaining that their business is not growing, yet the answer is right under their noses. The population are becoming larger, taller, and with this, they are losing as much as 40% potential growth in this market. They have also turned over 65% of their executives and staff in the last year. Everyone is to blame for the lack of growth…….but……..have they actually looked at they size of their potential clients and realized they are not only not serving them but offending them in the process?
I tried to make a few purchases, unsuccessfully I might add. I will never return to their stores.

I spoke to a Senior Vice President of that particular corporation on more than one occasion, unfortunately his area is not on the design side of the business. He also voiced his frustrations, and finally has decided to look for opportunities elsewhere…..lose, lose, lose. ….

Another high-end retailer constantly asks its clients for their email addresses so they can be sent promotions and event invitations. I have personally been asked no less than 25 times, they ask at the cash with each purchase, and as yet, nothing. Nada, niet. Nope. Nary an invite. I know many others who have voiced the same objections, and who are equally offended. Just how difficult is it to add a name to a list??
What have many of us done?? Sought out high end designer clothes and shoes elsewhere.

Or the grocery store with the surly cashiers who actually find it funny that clients wish to be served in English….simple solution, shop elsewhere. Unless it is a blizzard and I do not wish to drive more than 5 minutes, I will absolutely NOT go to their store, they have lost tens of thousands of dollars in business from me alone, and I have told many other friends where to shop for better prices and lovely service.

Target, Future Shop and many others are closing their doors, unfortunately no one seems to be educating the floor staff that the client is king. If someone has gone out of their way to come to your store to look at something, drop what you are doing and go serve them. Chatting about your date, your meal, or your boyfriend is not important. If the client comes to the store on more than one occasion and is not served politely, it is unlikely they will ever be back. They will go to the competition and if they are well served they are forever gone.

In my case, I travel several miles for groceries where I am served with smiling faces in English, get prices which are on average 50% lower, yes, really, free parking, and in one case, unlimited free plastic bags or small boxes to carry my merchandise. Who could ask for more??!!

Retailers and Restaurateurs bemoan the fact that their clients are not loyal, yet they never stop to consider that it is poor service or inferior merchandise driving them away. When portions are forever shrinking, the quality of the food is inferior , service is unpleasant and condescending, people will give the provider a couple of chances on the chances it is just an off night, then it is OVER. How many of us have frequented a restaurant, introduced our friends, hosted events, in my case LOTS and LOTS of events, having been the President of DPMA and hosting monthly lunches, huge Christmas parties, conferences,client lunches, birthday parties, then seen someone who is loud and pushy be offered complimentary drinks and appetizers, then order the cheapest meal on the menu, and seen this repeatedly? I no longer frequent ANY of these establishments, if you do not understand the value of my custom, or show any signs of appreciation, I will not be back.
I know at least 3 of these establishments have gone out of business, and I heard one other is probably on the way ….
The message to be learned?? You have to thank the huge client, and not reward the cheap noisy one.

So, is it that people like me are not loyal or is it that we are simply fed up of poor customer service??

Recently I have been cleaning up my huge desk drawer of the business cards I amassed all over the world, and yes, I have more than a huge drawer full. They are in business card holders arranged alphabetically, and are overflowing. I am absolutely gob-smacked at the number of huge corporations, restaurants and hotels which no longer exist. However, upon deeper reflection, the restaurant staff in many cases were arrogant, they made people wait unnecessarily, and had a process of seating the ‘beautiful’ people in the best tables while making others wait indeterminably. The problem more than ever, particularly in my industry which is high tech, the young male 30 year old teckie millionaires tend to be shy, dressed in jeans and sneakers, they are certainly not the ‘beautiful people’, but they can buy them all out before breakfast.

So they receive poor seats, even poorer service, and never go back. So the arrogant clip-board person at the door with the haughty attitude will become unemployed when the word gets around, but unfortunately all the other staff do too.

The concept of ‘Secret Shoppers” seems to be lost. It used to be that shops and restaurants would send poorly dressed people into their stores and restaurants to eat or make purchases and report back about the experience. This practice seems to be lost, and should seriously be re-instituted quickly by any establishment which is service oriented.

Yes, you have seen some of these issues discussed before, however it appears that as service declines, it is more important than ever to be vigilant.

Consideration, Uncategorized

BLOG – Restaurant Etiquette, or not

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….Seems to be an oxymoron these days, as one sees less and less etiquette being practiced, only extraordinarily bad manners and a distinct show of dis-respect to other restaurant goers and the staff.

Who doesn’t like to eat out?! A new location to discover, new type of cuisine, and often, new people.
It used to be that people would put on their finest and go out with their best friends for a meal. It was an event. Today, groups of people who barely know one another will go out for an evening, where they plan on going to several locations over the course of the evening, so they treat the establishment as if it is only there for their own personal enjoyment. The other patrons ignored. As they get louder and more intoxicated, the discomfort in the room becomes increasingly unpalatable , then, off to the next venue with utter disregard for those whose evening they ruined.

In the past, table etiquette was not only taught, but heavily enforced at home. Elbows off the table, Chew with your mouth closed, speak to the person at your right, at your left, across the table from you with full eye contact, and you were to SMILE!!

There were no phones allowed, no distractions. A meal was an event to be shared with the others at the table. Conversation other than religion or politics was encouraged.

No one knows this better than the Chinese, who went as far as to create DIM SUM, which is basically little tastes. The idea being that one can sit in a restaurant and socialize with friends over an extended period of time, and share their nibbles with friends. Food is a huge part of their social life, and great food is very important.

One does not get the feeling today that many people understand the concept of dining. Today it is about eating and running off to the next event, although to be fair, there are some restaurants who are looking to turn the table as many times as they can in an evening, and are not exactly encouraging people to stay. If I ever go to a restaurant and am told they need the table, it is unlikely I will ever return. The only time this is acceptable, is if it was established prior to going. Good restaurant management however, will try and allow you to keep the table if you are continuing to dine.Sitting for an hour over a cheap coffee does not count.

Restaurant no-no’s include, but are not limited to:

CHILDREN

You may think your child is adorable. I do not. Keep it seated. Keep it quiet, or leave it at home. It is not cute to have it’s dirty fingers in my food, standing at my table asking questions and interrupting, or running around the restaurant screaming. Do NOT lecture me that it is only a child. The Chinese bring their children to restaurants from the time they are born, and they are QUIET. It is disrespectful to the other diners. We are paying for the privilege of eating there. You are not paying for us. If a BILLION Chinese have figured it out, so can you.

SNAPPING FINGERS AT THE WAIT STAFF

Really??? Do you actually think you are that important? Unless you advised the staff you were in a hurry at the outset, and they abandoned you, if you must get someone’s attention, quietly go see the Maitre’D and request assistance. PERIOD.
LOUD TALKING

Your conversation is YOUR conversation. The rest of us are do not need to hear it, nor do we find it entertaining. We came to be with the people at OUR table, not yours.
MOBILE PHONES

Turn them OFF, or go outside to have your conversation. If you are expecting an urgent call, announce it to the guests at your table, apologize for the impending interruption, then excuse yourself when it happens. Once again, the rest of us do not need to hear your side of a conversation.
TABLE HOPPING

The absolutely rudest most disrespectful thing anyone can do. It suggests that the people at your table are unimportant. If you came with them, STAY with them. If you absolutely must speak to someone at another table, wait until everyone has finished their meal, excuse yourself, briefly confer with the individual at the other table and return. If seeing them was so important, you should have gone to dinner with THEM and not your table mates.
PLAYING WITH FOOD

A very wealthy and generous gentleman I know entertains a great deal, and always orders sufficient food and drink for the table, and plenty to spare. On numerous occasions I have witnessed selfish guests ordering extra plates, then playing with the food. Why?? Because they felt they could, certainly not because there was lack of either food or choice. It is rude to the host and the chef. On several occasions the table was absolutely groaning with the weight of the food. Why on earth be so arrogant and wasteful as to order more?! Particularly as a non-paying guest. It is the height of bad manners.
SENDING PLATES BACK

Unless the eggs or chicken is raw, be quiet and eat it.
In my case, I stress that I have severe food allergies, which could be lethal. BLUE Cheese tops the list, and I have no tolerance for raw garlic or onions, or MSG. They render me totally nauseous.
If the dish comes dripping with onions or garlic, you can be sure it will go back.

Some people however, make it a power game, and send things back because they want to be noticed. Unless it is grotesquely undercooked, overcooked, or just plain disastrous, shut up and eat it. You ordered it.
DIETARY PREFERENCES – ALLERGIES

See above.
For some it is just being fussy. Please do NOT say you have allergies if you simply have dietary preferences, otherwise the other guests will be fearful throughout the meal. If you are going to be difficult, then just go to a vegan or vegetarian restaurant.
RESERVATIONS

If you make them, KEEP THEM. If you can’t, then cancel in a respectful amount of time so that the restaurant can offer the table to other patrons. It is totally disrespectful to not cancel if you will not be going. The restaurant has provisioned food and staff on your behalf which costs them money.
CUTLERY

If you do not know how to use a knife or fork properly, BUY A BOOK ON TABLE ETIQUETTE. It is extremely unpleasant to watch someone spearing their food, using their knife as a spoon, or holding their fork as a spear.
FOOD ON YOUR CLOTHES

They made napkins for a reason. Accidents do happen, but there are some people who simply do not pay attention and end up with half the meal on their shirts. It is extremely unattractive.
CHEWING WITH AN OPEN MOUTH

CLOSE IT. We don’t want to watch you masticate your food, nor do we want to hear you smacking your lips.
TALKING WITH A MOUTH FULL OF FOOD

See above.
USING YOUR FINGERS

Asparagus
Chicken wings
Ribs.

PERIOD.
ELBOWS ON THE TABLE

Are you so bored with the company that you need to hold up your head? No?!! Then leave the elbows off the table.
STICKING YOUR FORK INTO OTHER”S PLATES

Unless you are with your significant other and are trying new dishes and have agreed to share, then LEAVE IT ALONE.
If you are with a group of friends and everyone offers a taste to everyone, that is another story. I have been out where it was understood we were all going to share so we could try it.
That is perfectly fine.
Most people however, order a meal with the intention of eating it by themselves.
If you are absolutely determined to taste something because it just looks to good to be true, then a polite, “Oh my, does that taste as amazing as it smells?” may prompt a small taste. If not, then KEEP OFF.
TEMPER TANTRUMS

Oh my, where to start.

I was at NOBU several years ago, and a wealthy Montrealer was also there with a group at another table. He is rich, loud and exceedingly vulgar.
He did not receive several of the items he ordered, which is to be expected in a SUSHI restaurant, things come at the pace of the chef, and in a specific order. He wanted them immediately, and created a scene.
I was actually with the Executive Director of the Metropolitan Hotel having dinner. He excused himself, and went over to the other table to calm down the loud patron, and explain the reason for the delays. There was a period of calm, then another outburst. Obviously too much sake and too much self importance.
End result??!! He is now barred from the Hotel and the Restaurant. Apparently this was not the first outburst, nor was it the first time that the tablecloth with all its contents had found the floor, but it was certainly the last.
I was later informed that this same person has a reputation in Montreal, New York and London, and has been barred from numerous establishments.
Well, that explains the fact he now has a private chef.

Another aspiring Montreal Socialite has been barred from several restaurants for creating a scene and constantly complaining about her bill, even though she did order what was charged.
In one Japanese Restaurant, the owner told her never to come to her restaurant again, then ran after her and threw salt on her and the entrance to her restaurant to eliminate the bad Karma.
Ouch!!
How incredibly embarrassing.

I could go on, but I think those were enough to make the point.
If you absolutely positively must throw a tantrum, do it at home and don’t humiliate yourself in public. We are watching, and we WILL remember.!!

Business, Consideration, Impressions, Relationships

Impressed by their Title

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If it isn’t obvious by my blogs, I am a student of human behaviour, the human condition providing endless sources of entertainment and consternation.

Human behaviour never ceases to intrigue, every day someone I meet shares some tidbit which leaves you with your mouth flopping in the breeze in shock.

From mind-numbing rudeness on the telephone, or those who somehow think they are too busy or important to return phone calls, yet they have absolutely no clue as to the reason for the call. People are reserving multiple tables in multiple restaurants for 15 people and do not have the common courtesy to ring up and cancel the poor restaurant they deem as unimportant, leaving restaurant owners holding the bag for staff and food which goes uneaten, and an empty table being eyed by some poor group who did not reserve but are being turned away. Beyond unethical behaviour.

There seems to be a malaise in the marketplace, many people are commenting on it, from various walks of life. People are holding positions clearly above their capabilities, and are spending their days scrambling to cover up their incompetence, and instead of working with others to improve their knowledge, surrounding themselves with other equally incompetent individuals, all of them scrambling to retain their titles and fat salaries, and being rude to anyone they consider below their station in life.

This morning a friend with a PhD in Bio Science rang me up for a chat. Apparently the CIO at his previous company just let go 15 individuals who did not kow tow to her and her directives. This department ironically is 8 years late in implementing a project, and well over $50 million over budget. It will finally be implemented this year simply because those working on it are so fed up they have taken it upon themselves to ignore most of the directives and are just doing it. The CIO is grotesquely incompetent, and blames every possible thing that goes wrong on her staff. She has burned through some amazing people, many of those who have left are fabulously talented, and could not work for her. How she has managed to stay in office is seriously questionable. We constantly hear the expression ‘do you know who I am’ ?!??.. She is one of those….

Having been rendered speechless by this person I did references on her and was rolling on the floor laughing at some of the comments, including that one of her biggest accomplishments in her previous company was leaving!!!!

Whether someone is pushing for a table in a restaurant, running a project, in a line, one unfortunately hears these words far too often. I have a friend with delusions of grandeur who never stops telling everyone ‘I’m a XYZ. (family name) …..almost no one knows this family name, and yet one hears this constantly as if it is somehow supposed to impress…

The irony is that inevitably these self-important individuals are not remotely important or successful except in their own minds..
Growing up in England one was reminded constantly NEVER to name drop or self- promote, that it is the height of bad manners. In America, people are doing the opposite, and, frankly it is tiresome.

The Lady, Countess, Lord, are apt to come across as boring and unsuccessful. Yet one hears low level clerks in shops or companies dripping with condescension. The 21 year old shop clerk in an antique shop I frequent is by far one of the rudest young men I have met in a long time. Bristling with arrogance and condescension, interrupting people to give his opinions, and over talking if one has the audacity to try and ignore him. He is broke, living in a shared apartment, however, the strut and voice of authority with which he speaks would leave you wondering if he was so rich and successful he had earned the right to be so mind-numblingly rude.

If someone has to interrupt others to try and indicate their importance, then it is clear they are simply rude, selfish bores.
Courtesy and manners have seemingly been out of favour for a while, particularly with the youth, however it is interesting to note just how many people are complaining, and making a point of ignoring the ignoramus.

Years ago I came up with the ditty, “the bigger the strut, the bigger the loser”, which couldn’t be more true than today.
No one cares who you think you are, or tell us you are, your behaviours speaks volumes, and yes, we are watching…

Business, Consideration, Impressions

…..more on telephone arrogance….

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Does it ever end??!

Just when you are sure you have heard every possible story of rude behaviour, some incredibly arrogant person drops a line on you leaving you speechless, falling on the floor!!
The latest in the litany of rude telephone behaviour is where some low class, arrogant jerk wants you to text BEFORE you call to tell him :

You will be calling
Why you will call.
Seriously??

I can’t imagine what goes through their minds to think that they are actually that important.

Then, there is the middle manager who insists you call his secretary and tell her what it is you want so that SHE can decide if your call is important enough for him to take, but you are already ON THE PHONE WITH ME YOU MORON!

Where on earth do they come up with these ideas??

Every day I receive a call from a friend telling me about the newest slight, if these morons think people don’t talk about them, let me tell you, I am getting calls, I know who you are, and some of my friends want to include your nonsense in my BLOG as they are so insensed with the rudeness. Many would LOVE me to include names, but I promised this BLOG would be confidential.

I once again called someone about a job opportunity, and was told to call back his secretary…..!!! Really?? You want me to tell your secretary I am calling you about a new position?? I think not…..however, your inane arrogance has insured I will never call you again, and you now have a huge note in my files to KEEP AWAY !!
The joke of course, is on this individual, who isn’t earning even close to the compensation being offered, but, hey, he is such a big shot with his secretary doing his screening, that he just lost a potential increase of $100,000!!!

So, Mr Arrogance and Self-Importance loses, as there is no way I would consider an individual who thinks so highly of themselves. The arrogance, and lack of good judgement and grace was amazing.
Grace, ah yes, a lost art. Clearly non whatsoever attributed to this individual, and yes, people notice, and yes, people talk, and some of us take notes……copious ones…..
Two hours later, I rang up two gentlemen who are extremely successful company Presidents, and, low and behold, both answered their phones themselves, and chatted with me. Lunch is planned with one of them upon his return from London England in 2 weeks. Hmmmm……….

So, there are obviously polite, smart people out there who understand phone etiquette, and simple good manners…..

This unfortunately, is probably my third BLOG on telephone etiquette, I had never expected to be penning another one, but with all the people I speak with in a week, someone always succeeds in surprising me with another anecdote which throws you off your chair….

Very few successful people I know have not complained about the phenomenal lack of telephone etiquette. When will people actually smarten up and think?? Regardless of how many contacts you have in Linkedin or Facebook, if you are mindlessly rude on the phone, the word will get out, and you are better to hang on to your crappy little job because at some point, the phone calls will cease, and with them the evaporation of interesting opportunities.

Respect and courtesy towards others goes far, thinking you are above everyone and are somehow special, well, it gets old, fast. There is always someone richer, more successful, better looking, more popular, more polite, more connected, than you are, and so manners tend to stand out.

If you cut yourself off with mind-numbing rudeness and condescension, people will and do talk, and at some point your phone will cease to ring. Guess you got your wish!!! We are all thrilled to leave you alone in your imaginary ivory tower with your imagined servants…….

So, why is it I can reach multi-millionaires, billionaires in 1-2 calls, and they are thrilled to speak with me, and often meet with me, yet some low level individual thinks they are a GOD?? Where on earth does this come from??!!

Secretaries who are rude to callers and interrogate them, and please, do not insult my intelligence and tell me that your boss knows you are this rude, bosses who think they are too important to answer their own phone, yet are simply low level Managers in huge corporations who can be fired on a whim, someone, please, explain to me where this self-importance comes from.

Over the years I have done very high level fund raising both politically and for various charities. Almost EVERY company President has called me back, promptly, and either participated or explained why they cannot.
I have put together tribute parties and brought people together from thousands of miles away, from Embassies, Companies, Judges, Lawyers, Company Presidents, Doctors, Senior Politicians, they ALL return my calls, and politely explain why or why not they will attend.
Some of these individuals earn $100,000 per DAY, yet they return calls. And THAT is why they are successful.

They have learned that not returning a call can result in losing the opportunity of a lifetime, with just that one lost call.

One of the most impressive executives I have seen is Billionaire Sir Richard Branson of Virgin UK. He is open, available, fun, and wants to hear from you.
He is approachable, successful, and has a great sense of humour.

The key in that comment is successful.

So, why is he approachable, and someone earning $100,000 is not.!!???

I will leave you with those thoughts………

Impressions

…Prrrrrty time!!

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The Christmas social season has finally ended, it started quite early and kept most people running around…

The annual bombardment of Christmas music started just after Hallowe’en, some industrious shop-keepers were putting out Christmas decorations and merchandise at the same time they were removing the Hallowe’en stock…..

Then the endless solicitations for every type of charity imaginable, and a few I am sure were concocted for the season. Pan-handlers on every street corner trying to separate the gullible and the guilty from their money, all with some ridiculous story , practiced endlessly until they ascertain which one gives the best results……

So, the annual frenzy starts – running around to secure the ‘right’ gifts and outfits for the never-ending stream of social events. Charity Cocktail parties, Balls, Corporate parties, Private parties, Fashion parties, in-store events, utter madness…
Sometimes there are 5 events on the same night, rendering in inordinately complicated for the aspiring socialite to decide on which is the better to attend.

Then are the lists in the newspapers, to help sway those who are not well enough known to actually receive an invitation , and the choice is over-whelming, are the choice of prices. Some charity events now costing $2500 and more per person.

Men, of course, have little to worry about, either a tux or classy business suit, women, on the other hand, have the most extraordinary knack for wearing the most eye-poppingly inappropriate outfits imaginable.

Fashion is a huge industry, extremely creative, which drives a huge segment of the economy, and is a great indicator of the emotions of the nation. Colours, skirt lengths, textures, to the neck or totally exposed, short sleeves, long sleeves, no sleeves, high heels, low heels, flats, stacked heels, round toes, pointed toes, no end in sight.

Karl Lagerfeld, however eccentric, is absolutely brilliant, designing concurrently for such illustrious fashion houses as Chanel, KL, Fendi, and doing spectacular photography as well.

Christian Lacroix, whose fashion house folded, also provides a colourful creative alternative from the drab, and one hears he is coming back.

Alexander McQueen, although deceased, has a fabulous designer running his fashion empire with an equally interesting knack for variety and absurdity.

The only problem with all this amazing fashion, is the equal number of women who are total fashion victims, wearing totally inappropriate clothes for their age or body type. A woman of a ‘certain age’ who has gained weight should NOT be exposing her décolletage back, and arms. Unless one has the body of a 17 year old, these clothes should be left for those who do. There are very few women who can get away with these clothes, such as the fascinating Daphne Guinness, she is tiny as a bird……mind-numbingly wealthy, and has an extraordinary eye. Her combinations are out of this world, and one notices she is always totally covered……

Seeing an overweight 60 year old in a flimsy chiffon dress exposing herself and trying to act kittenish is frankly disturbing, increasingly so with the level of intoxication.

Ad to that feather boas, head pieces and it is not a pretty sight. Flappers were gorgeous young things in their 20’s, with the body to match….!! Downton Abby, hugely popular, spurred numerous roaring 20’s events this season, and with them, many women in flapper outfits who were completely inappropriate.

Unfortunately some of these women can be seen running around town speaking out about being taken seriously in business, it is extremely difficult when their attire screams of inappropriateness!!

Several years ago, Sharon Stone went to the Emmy’s in a Gap turtleneck and simple clothes. It made the fashion pages internationally, and she was considered the most elegantly dressed woman at the event. And undoubtedly the most cheaply dressed!!!

Then comes the issue of drinking, no one is attractive when they are inebriated. Men become vulgar and often violent, women become lewd and cruel.

Some aspiring socialites show their true colours, as they become more vulgar and cruel with each glass, and yes, we DO REMEMBER.

Many of us are totally sober, and we are watching. So when these women expound on virtues and correctness endlessly during the day, and expose their true selves as drunken shrews at parties, boundaries are crossed, sometimes, with the new phones,their actions recorded for posterity, and memories are long. Pictures are forever!!

So, readers, before you go out there, take a second look in the mirror, then a third, and re-consider that third cocktail.

We ARE watching!!!…..and have a great time!!

Consideration, Quality

Bullies, again!!

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Over the last few weeks, once again, there have been numerous articles posted on Facebook, in the press and the news about children and young adults taking their lives over bullying.

We have been in a World Recession since 2007,  although the economists refuse to publicly acknowledge it. Coupled with that, the Global economy has changed the way business is conducted. Companies are outsourcing low level jobs to third world countries, leaving many uneducated individuals and the youth unable to find either entry level or part-time employment. Granted, many of them arrive for an interview with such arrogance that no one wants to hire them. Furthermore, if they are hired, they are unwilling to work, and are constantly complaining about hours, and inconvenience.

Bullying starts in school, and becomes absolutely hideous by high school for those unable to cope with the constant unpleasantness. Most often it is triggered by the bully not being given something they wanted, and that anger is then transformed into rage, and taken out on some poor unsuspecting individual who has the misfortune to cross their path.

So, the shy child, unable to verbally defend themselves to the barrage of insults and teasing, simply withdraws further and further into themselves. The nerdy child, more interested in math or science is teased mercilessly as they don’t conform to the perceived mode of behaviour, but nonetheless gets straight A’s with little effort. The irony being that this same child may have an IQ at Genius level, and will become a world class researcher or inventor.

Then, of course, there is the one who dresses and acts differently, refusing to conform to the in-crowd’s way of dressing. In high school my best friend who was also British and I had incredibly long hair all the way down our backs, and dyed black, we wore black eyeliner, off white lipstick, black lace up Granny Boots, black turtle-necks, black jeans, black leather jackets….and yes, we were both artists. Both of us drew and we also wrote. By the age of 13 I was published, by 15 I had poetry published in Japan, then articles, and then, I met a 12 string guitar…and started composing music, never having had one guitar lesson in my life. Not long after, I found myself on a stage performing in front of hundreds of people.

My way of dealing with the constant unpleasantness of a few certain individuals in my school who considered themselves the most important people on the campus was simply to make an entire new circle of friends who were part of the French ‘IN” crowd, and wow!!  What a ride!!  I never looked back!! The added bonus was that I learned to speak French!!! I met a  young fellow  who was a musician with an incredible voice, and ended up singing with him!!

Around the same time I met a Chinese girl who also felt like an outsider, and we became friends. So I made a group of friends within the Asian community and my eyes were opened once again, new language, new customs, new food, and the refreshing part, was the community welcomed me with open arms.

Unfortunately, not everyone had the strength of character or imagination I did. One girl, adopted by a very wealthy family was both not attractive and different. We were too young then to understand she was a lesbian, we had no idea in those days of what that even was.

She was teased incessantly, in the most cruel ways possible, being told she was unwanted by her parents because she was ugly. Her solution was to start pulling out her eyelashes and her hair, and by age 15 she really had serious emotional problems. Unfortunately the more she pulled, the more cruel the perpetrators.

Then, of course, there is the child who comes to school dirty and in rags, and suffers no end at the hands of these arrogant self serving Princesses. Never a thought that perhaps this poor unfortunate child might also be coming to school starving.

Children and teens unfortunately, are not taught to stand back and consider what has triggered this cruel behaviour and how to protect themselves from it. It would never enter most parent’s minds that their child is either the bully or the subject of bullying.

The bullies, will never allow anyone but themselves to be center stage, the most popular, best dressed, with a constant entourage. Should someone turn up to threaten them, they will instantly concoct some lie to destroy the other individual.

We hear of young girls being teased incessantly, called whores and sluts, and often they are virgins. Ironically the ones doing the teasing are usually the promiscuous ones. Their guilt and unwillingness to acknowledge it, has them project on some poor unsuspecting individual….it is always easier to call someone names than acknowledge that you are not nice.

One incredibly cruel woman I know, now on her 5th husband, had an incredibly bad reputation in University for her promiscuity. Give her a few drinks and she would have sex with anyone. This same person, now in her 60’s refuses to acknowledge that she ever did anything wrong. It is always the fault of someone else. Whatever problems she has in life, someone else is at fault. And she will proclaim loudly to anyone listening what a victim she is.  She claims to have become an alcoholic in her 40’s due to problems with one of her husbands and a child. But anyone who knew her earlier knew she had a drinking problem 20 years earlier.

Whatever perceived slight is always blown out of proportion, no one, and I do mean NO ONE is allowed to call the bully out as they simply will not acknowledge they have a problem. Most are arrogant, cruel, selfish individuals. They will just add more insults and vicious gossip behind the back of whoever actually stands up to them.

What is the solution?? First, school and high school are not forever, and if you don’t like them, there is absolutely no reason to stay in contact with them later on in life.

Teach your children, your friends, acquaintances, that bullying is not acceptable behaviour call them out as bullies, tell teachers, co-workers, who-ever necessary. If you have to, go to the Police. To turn a blind eye is to be complicit. You become part of the problem, not the solution.

Teach children to stand up for themselves. The most unfortunate thing is that if no one ever calls them out, these bullies continue throughout their lives and the pattern is not broken.

Become friends with other people. They are actually out there. Get happy. Be with people who appreciate you. Feel good about your differences and your skills. Live a fascinating full life. It is truly the best revenge.

 

Impressions, Relationships

RICH and Angry

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The wonderful thing about the human race is that they never cease to amaze and provide an endless supply of anecdotes for me to detail in my blog!!

I am absolutely fascinated by several individuals I know who are extraordinarily wealthy, through chance of birth and marriage, yet, they are mind-numbingly cruel, angry people. They are tooling around in Bentley’s, Ferrari’s, and other posh cars, eating in the best restaurants, seated at the best tables where they are assured of ‘being seen’ , flying on private jets, wearing the most expensive clothes they can find, but are nasty, nasty, nasty. The mere idea of being polite or kind to someone except when they want something from them, is inconceivable, and generosity, just for the sake of it, is something they can simply not comprehend.

What I can’t quite figure out is why they are so cruel and rude? One would hope that if you are fortunate enough to acquire such wealth without exerting any effort other than the mere fact of being born or married into it, that you would be the nicest person in the world, but no, they are totally unpleasant, nasty individuals, who treat everyone like they are after something, and must be brushed off. Most of us look at you and think you are fortunate for miraculously falling into such a situation, but your behaviour belies any possible understanding. Interestingly, other than a few belligerent movie stars and singers who have come to believe they are GODS, I don’t actually think I have ever met someone who worked for their wealth who portrays such shameful behaviour. Most people who have earned their wealth understand how incredibly lucky they are, and how precarious it is, and the fact you can lose it all overnight, due to something totally beyond your control.

One gentleman I have known for years has made and lost his fortune several times. He is kind, generous, very funny, and was recently in Europe speaking at a University about Entrepreneurship. He is generous to a fault, and employs people around the world from nearly every possible race imaginable. Many are invisible, not wanting to flaunt their wealth.

So, if you didn’t work for it, why are you so mean?? Rude? Disrespectful? Because you think you can? Because somehow now that you are rich you feel above everyone else? You only associate with people you consider important enough to be in your refined company? Rich enough? Famous enough??

So, let me paraphrase, you inherited or married wealth, did absolutely nothing to earn it, contributed nothing to the good of mankind other than promoting yourself and procreating, strut around in fine clothes and jewellery, drive expensive cars, and sneer at the world.

There is always someone better looking, richer, kinder, more educated, more travelled, more successful, out there…..and the rest of the world sees you as your truly are. We avoid you at all costs, and want as little to do with you as is possible. You have absolutely no idea who you have offended along the way. Some of the ‘little’ people you have tromped over are in fact more wealthy and successful than you will ever be, and they are NICE. But you never take the time to actually LOOK at who is in front of you or LISTEN to them.

It is very sad.
At the end of the day the only people who will be around you will be only there to take your money, the one thing you have been fighting against forever, as you will have offended and chased everyone else away. What a delicious, sad irony.

Trying to get perspective